| The Wit and Wisdom (Not) of Ann Coulter, 1997-2004 |
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| Written by Morrie Friendly | |
| Monday, 04 February 2002 | |
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Originally published Feb. 5, 2002, this page was updated through September 4, 2004. Morrie Friendly tracked down these choice comments from the reigning queen of reactionary overreach with help from Dave "Doctor" Gonzo, Washington Monthly, the legendary Media Whores Online Web site, Steve Gilliard's News Blog, Stuart Hayes, Eschaton and Lynn Meese.
“If Giuliani wants to have a national ambition, and I’m a big fan of his, he’s going to have to become pro-life if he wants to run for president. No one ever believed he was pro-choice anyway - he’s a Catholic from Queens," she says, adding, “Americans understand that Manhattan is the Soviet Union.” "Well, my point is that it shows the ideological insanity of these people and how they are terrified of anyone who believes in a Being even higher than the New York Times. When you try to figure out what the Religious Right is, essentially my conclusion is that it either comes down to one man, Pat Robertson, or 80 percent of Americans, anyone who believes in God and wants his taxes cut. When you look at Pat Robertson’s positions, they are really quite moderate positions, as one would expect from a Yale Law School graduate. I may not agree with him as a conservative, but my point is they are trying to demonize Pat Robertson as some sort of horned conservative. If he didn't believe in God and go on TV and talk about it, he would be Jim Jeffords, he would be Christie Todd Whitman, I mean just in his political positions. It really shows how crazy these people are. They really are terrified of believing Christians." "[Anti-war Democrats] know that the American people support defending America, unlike them. Their real feelings are coming out as much as they can right now, which is that they're desperately dying to provide aid and support to al-Qaeda." "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building." Phil Donahue: "I just want to make sure we got this right. Liberals hate America. They hate all religions except Islam. Liberals love Islam, hate all other religions." "[In response to Mike Barnacle] I've been promoting my book today so I haven't read the [Ninth Circuit] decision [declaring the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional]. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding about my coming on this program to talk about my book. But I will guess that the judges who said the pledge of allegiance violates the constitution were appointed by Democrats and not Republicans I haven't looked at the decision, I haven't heard about the decision. But that's a wild guess I'm going to make.... [Later, responding to Katrina van den Heuvel] Oh, I'm just waiting to see if anyone will take any bets on me on whether the judges who wrote this decision were appointed by a Democrat or a Republican."
Ann Coulter: "I can tell which ones don't need to be looked at, I can tell you that. Old ladies, old black men, little children, blondes, blue eyed. Do this experiment. I've done it many times: go around wherever you are, and you can always exclude about 80% of the people there, and I know once again Congressman Honda will not tell us the other factors that are going to be so crucial in figuring out which ones the terrorists are." "As Mineta has endlessly recounted in interviews of late: 'I remember on the 29th of May, 1942' -- note that he remembers the day -- 'when we boarded the train in San Jose under armed guard, the military guard, I was in my Cub Scout uniform carrying a baseball, baseball glove and a baseball bat. And as I boarded the train, the MPs confiscated the bat on the basis it could be used as a lethal weapon.' "Ann is an illustration of how a certain kind of virulent right-wing politics is based on emotion, not reason. Almost to a one, I found that the most hateful voices on the right were venting their own deep-seated problems and frustrations. " From "Cam Kate": "When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty.We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed too. Otherwise they will turn out to be outright traitors." "...a cruise missile is more important than Head Start." On Islamic extremists: "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." On Ted 'Perjurer General' and Barbara 'Paid Liar' Olson: "It's 'Ted and Barbara' just like it's Fred and Ginger, and George and Gracie. They were so perfect together." "The presumption of innocence only means you don't go right to jail." "God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it! It's yours.'" "I think [women] should be armed but should not [be allowed to] vote. No, they all have to give up their vote, not just, you know, the lady clapping and me. The problem with women voting -- and your Communists will back me up on this -- is that, you know, women have no capacity to understand how money is earned. They have a lot of ideas on how to spend it. And when they take these polls, it's always more money on education, more money on child care, more money on day care." "Women like Pamela Harriman and Patricia Duff are basically Anna Nicole Smith from the waist down. Let's just call it for what it is. They're whores." "The thing I like about Bush is I think he hates liberals." "Let's say I go out every night, I meet a guy and have sex with him. Good for me. I'm not married." "The swing voters? I like to refer to them as the idiot voters because they don't have set philosophical principles. You're either a liberal or you're a conservative if you have an IQ above a toaster. " "Clinton is in love with the erect penis." "[The] backbone of the Democratic Party [is a] typical fat, implacable welfare recipient" "[Clinton] masturbates in the sinks." "If you don't hate Clinton and the people who labored to keep him in office, you don't love your country." On Rep. Christopher Shays (D-CT) in deciding whether to run against him as a Libertarian candidate: "I really want to hurt him. I want him to feel pain." Another brilliant pundit forecast: "I think [Whitewater]'s going to prevent the First Lady [Hillary Clinton] from running for Senate." "We're now at the point that it's beyond whether or not this guy is a horny hick. I really think it's a question of his mental stability. He really could be a lunatic. I think it is a rational question for Americans to ask whether their president is insane." "It's enough [to be impeached] for the president to be a pervert." "My track record is pretty good on predictions." To a disabled Vietnam vet: "People like you caused us to lose that war." "If those kids had been carrying guns they would have gunned down this one [child] gunman. ... Don't pray. Learn to use guns." "I am emboldened by my looks to say things Republican men wouldn't." "[Princess Diana's] children knew she's sleeping with all these men. That just seems to me, it's the definition of 'not a good mother.' ... Is everyone just saying here that it's okay to ostentatiously have premarital sex in front of your children?...[Diana is] an ordinary, and pathetic, and confessional. I've never had bulimia! I've never had an affair! I've never had a divorce! So I don't think she's better than I am." "I think there should be a literacy test and a poll tax for people to vote." "If they have the one innocent person who has ever to be put to death this century out of over 7,000, you probably will get a good movie deal out of it." "Anorexics never have boyfriends. ... That's one way to know you don't have anorexia: if you have a boyfriend." "I think we had enough laws about the turn-of-the-century. We don't need any more." Asked how far back would she go to repeal laws, she replied, "Well, before the New Deal...[The Emancipation Proclamation] would be a good start." "I have to say I'm all for public flogging. One type of criminal that a public humiliation might work particularly well with are the juvenile delinquents, a lot of whom consider it a badge of honor to be sent to juvenile detention. And it might not be such a cool thing in the 'hood to be flogged publicly." "My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism." |
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