Jeff Koopersmith covers the "I-Quit-arod."

July 27, 2009 – Geneva (apj.us) – I spent 18 minutes and 53 seconds listening to Sarah Palin tell me how much she has done for America and Alaska, and why she is leaving the governorship of Alaska.

It wasn’t easy to do without smiling or snarling at her lies, insults, and dimwittedness.

Bizarrely, she opened her speech using the word “apologetics” which is the act of apologizing but there was never a single apology in her talk.  Instead she congratulated herself using the royal “we” at almost every turn pretending it just wasn’t she that had mortified her state, but that everyone helped.

Since Alaska houses a great number of military Palin was eager to include soldiers – front and center – in her blather.  She told us that Alaska produces proud “volunteers” who sacrifice everything for our nation.

This was her first of all her misleading statements inasmuch as everyone in the military volunteers and they certainly do not sacrifice “everything” for our country.  They are paid kind of well, fed, housed, clothed, and the great majority enjoys serving not in dangerous places, but in safer places.  All of them would be serving out of harm's way  had it not been for Palin and members of her Party who flung us into war, and now promise several more to come.

Sarah Palin is a hypocrite.  While I keep a list of every dead and injured soldier in my files – and often go to it before I write against this murderous world, I do not use soldiers as tools to bolster my viewpoint.

Former governor Palin does just that. She uses the death and dismemberment of men and women who will risk their lives to push her clandestine political agenda – if she has one.  Certainly this miscreant cannot believe she could be the President of the United States – although one supposes that after eight years of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney even Bernard Madoff dreams of stealing the White House from his 150 year reserved cell at Club Fed.

Palin claims that the U.S. military fights to preserve freedom of speech, yet they are not allowed to speak freely are they?

She goes on to tell us that she exercises this right and launches immediately into an attack on the free press because we are responsible for Democracy and because her troops are willing to die for us.  That’s droll; weren’t many foreign journalists part of the Cheney round up?  Oh, but they were mere“alien” journalists who served years in our hell hole prisons and were then set free because there was nothing proved against them.

Palin added that it is time for more of her “straight talk” for “some” in the media because journalism is an “important job” and because troops are willing to die for us.

She raises her voice and says journalists should honor American soldiers – “You quit makin’ things up” she squeals in her impossible cartoon voice.

One might think she meant the stuff that some of us made up about Iraq in order to support our biggest advertisers who made tens of billions from that war, and are now profiting not only in Iraq but Afghanistan as well.

Soldiers are dying for Halliburton as well.

But no, Palin was concerned about the “lies” told about her and her family.

I searched for those lies. I didn't find any. Few have been more voracious in my criticism of Palin, her husband, and her use of everything dear to us for her sole benefit – God, the church, our fear of energy prices that could bankrupt the average family, false patriotism, using her office to penalize enemies of her family, perhaps even bribery and corruption.  And one can’t forget the lies she made her sweet daughter along with that mongrel she was “engaged” to tell us while the whole world snickered and shook its head in giggles.

Her dumbest line “our new governor has a very nice family too, so leave his kids alone!”

She claimed also that Alaska’s new governor is a “grace from God.”

Most journalists did leave her kids alone until she began using them – including her own lovely baby who suffers so badly with brain damage.  This woman is not above anything – believe me. Like all former third rate beauty queens – she knows who to gust to get what she wants.

Here is a woman currently being investigated for fraud, corruption, and worse, and who I believe is fleeing the state rather than face the music, now telling a crowd of nitwit Alaskans and reporters with assignment editors silly enough to be up there that she, Sarah Palin, promised ethics reform – and that the only thing wrong with what she delivered was that Democrats abused it – by citing her lack thereof I must add!

This bad-mannered ex-governor believes that Alaska, and more and more exploration for oil and gas is the future of the United States, when in fact all she talks about is the greed associated with the unwise destruction of one of the last places on earth of beauty, naturalness, and safety for other living things aside from us. She tells the puny crowd – See, you got all that money from me (their share of the oil booty when prices skyrocketed) so we have to keep drilling!

I am not making any of this up.  If it wasn’t so darn wretched it would be fodder for Comdey Central.

Yet it wasn’t enough.  To provide even more uproarious laughter she said “I promised to protect the environment and I did” or was it “we” did?

Even her claptrap about improving circumstances of “special needs children” seemed self-serving.

No folks – it didn’t stop there – She also claimed to protect animals!   This as she posed with her then tiny son hovering over the carcass of a huge beautiful animal soaked dead and fallen in its own blood in the snow. She had supposedly shot it from a helicopter!  This photo op only to get the NRA voting for her, or was she proud?  Her son looked horrified in the picture.

Yes, she protects wild animals by shooting them with a scoped rifle and adds this to her speech toward the end.

Another Palin boner – “stiffen your spines” against what? – Hollywood!  Yes my friends Hollywood is against hunting and uses starlets to attack the Second Amendment – “our right to bear arms” she whines.

This was followed by a sound bite that was never played – “We eat – therefore we hunt.”  Huh?  Is that like, “We pee, therefore we build toilets?”

She also claims that she forced oil and gas developers to follow her rules.  She did not explain that they made them along with her help to do so.

She crows about the “Gas Line Inducement Act” that will now bring another perilous pipeline to carry gas for our barbeques down to the lower 48– gas that promises to be more expensive than oil not long from now.

Mrs. Palin pauses to give credit to a woman that stood by her side as governor – stupidly calling  Chris, her “right hand man”

Remember, she was speaking as the governor of Alaska. So I guess it’s perfectly normal for her to attack government inasmuch as she is part of it – the head of it in Alaska.  She tells us that she and the government are our enemies and that taking things from it makes us less free.  She adds that she “resisted” the stimulus package pushed by her own heroes in Washington, and also talks about earmarks and how she obliterated them when in fact she was the Queen of earmark cheerleaders to Congress.

She advises the smallish audience in front of her – that government is not the answer – “the wisdom of the people is!”   That’s a line similar to the one Hitler and most neocons use when all the time they know and act like the masses are asses.

Toward the end of her speech for which we were all grateful she hastens back to energy and says that Alaskans have the right to drill, baby drill – but she calls that “develop(ing) resources maximumly.”  She meant "maximally”.

She also claims that Alaska, presumably under her watch, “secures America” and that we all should look North to the Future.”  If she had a brain she might have suggested looking Northwest – It is Canada that is due North.

Mrs. Palin claims that she “loves” Alaska.  Then why is she taking flight?  Well, that’s easy – she explains unexplainably that this is because she would be wasting her precious time and mind.  She tells her audience that her decision to flee “should be so obvious.”  I think to myself, “Because you are moron, or is it to save the state some embarrassing indictments or trial expense…I don’t know what?
 Thank the Lord - she answers my silent questions.  She is leaving because she “loves Alaska so much: that she wants to avoid being a lame duck governor!  

Of course, why didn’t I think of that?  What fun is it to be lame duck governor while freezing your ass off in almost total darkness for half the year!  How stupid of me.

”Now I can fight even harder!” she shouts.

And she vows to keep on “championing Alaska” and guarding its interests – “like a grizzly bear guards her cubs”!  Yes – and then Palin and her spawn shoot that bear and her cubs as they grow up.

Give me a break Sarah.

You were a dim little anomaly in the sometimes pretense we call Democracy.  You won the governorship of a breathtaking but unpopulated state by shaking your booty and producing a litter, shooting innocent things, and trying to open the protected areas of Alaska to anyone with a power drill.

Then, at the last moment, when Senator what’s-his-name couldn’t find a soul to run with him as vice president – you were picked from a Ouija board – “Let’s have some fun” they must have said to Mr. McCain. “Let’s select a woman.”  So they searched and they searched – but in the end, you were only woman fool enough they could tempt to attract some other idiots to add to the ones who might vote for John McCain.

This is your legacy.

Give it up Sarah. Go back to being a fine hunting mom and sled race yell leader.  Keep in mind that being the governor of Alaska was way, way over your head.

By the by, your own party feels and says the same – to your face and behind your back.

Just ask your pollster or the Chair on the Republican National Committee.

Jeff Koopersmith is an internationally renowned political consultant, opinion research authority and policy analyst. He has lobbied for causes including the alternative fuel sector and women's health, and is an expert on the international real estate market. He lives in Philadelphia, Washington and Geneva.