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FrankenBush vs. Osama bin Wolfman
The sequel of the sequel of the sequel
by Alan Bisbort
July 5, 2006–HARTFORD (apj.us)–Osama bin Ladin.
George W. Bush.
Can the world take much more of these rival monsters, these bickering Siamese twins?
Because, frankly, I get violently ill at the mere sight of either one of them now. Just a passing glimpse at a news photo of either pouty mug is enough to do the job. And this has been going on five years and I want to stop feeling sick about the nation—no, the very world—I live in, want to stop having to think about either of these wretched excuses for human beings and their sick and twisted sibling rivalry. It has gone beyond the sequel, to the sequel of the sequel of the sequel. Box office returns have fallen off and we need to pull the plug on this whole enterprise. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking this.
Am I equating “our” poor little rich boy George with “their” poor little rich boy Osama?
Well, um, yes, I am.
And I am not the first to do so. Bin Ladin, the Wolfman Who Lives in Caves, made Bush everything he is…well, with the help of five robed lords on the “high court” (and they must have been high that day). And now Bush has lost the war on terror, whatever the hell that is, but he just can’t quit Osama the Wolfman. More to the point, he can’t admit it in front of old “Loopy,” his whiny daddy, or Brass Balls Babs, his mutant mother.
Let’s face it. It’s not exactly front page news to point out the obvious that FrankenBush would be gone by now if it weren’t for Osama the Wolfman. And the bin Ladin family are old friends, and business partners, of the Bush family. It’s a verifiable historic fact that the Bush family have a long tradition of consorting with and profiting from the nation’s enemies, dating back to Prescott Bush, whom FDR came this close to prosecuting as a traitor under the Trading With The Enemy Act during World War II. As it was, the U.S. government seized assets of several Nazi front companies run by Bush in October-November 1942, but as one Loopy Bush biography put it, “These and other actions taken by the U.S. government in wartime were, tragically, too little and too late. Bush's family had already played a central role in financing and arming Adolf Hitler for his takeover of Germany; in financing and managing the buildup of Nazi war industries for the conquest of Europe and war against the U.S.A.; and in the development of Nazi genocide theories and racial propaganda, with their well-known results.”
Do you see the point at which I am circuitously driving? Like father like son like grandson. They should have snuffed out the monster after the original film and we’d never have had to suffer through these sequels.
Nor is it exactly front page news to point out that on the day after 9/11, 76 or 85 or 116 members of the bin Ladin family…who can really know the exact number as it was done in secret and all records destroyed…so let’s just say a whole shit-load of bin Ladins (and I do mean shit) went on the lam courtesy of their longtime friendship with the Bush family while the other 399,000,000 of us were in lockdown wherever we stood with our duct tape and plastic sheeting. This is not front page news. This is well known, well documented. You already know this, right? I’m preaching to the choir, I know, I know. You saw Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11.
Would it shock you to learn that it has been two years since Moore released that film and we’re watching a real-life sequel to it now? Can you believe it’s been five years since 9/11 and we’re still dicking around with these two poor little rich boy monsters? Osama the Wolfman is still sending out his little videos (not even DVDs, but those clunky VHS tapes!) and Bush is still rattling his little sword, Mad Dog Cheney is still in an undisclosed location running the show, the economy is deeper in the toilet, environment trashed, the nation less secure, and the freedoms guaranteed by the Bill of Rights, which we once took for granted, are but a fading memory.
We already know all this. So how can it be that these two guys are still going at it on our dime?! Has the outrage been beaten out of us to even lift our fingers to do more than click to another cable station?
The Supreme Court seems to have had enough of this sequel. Indeed, the same body of robed lords who created this monster, just last week slapped him down in a 5-3 decision. They ruled that Bush, for his planned secret tribunals of tortured Guantanamo Bay detainees—courtroom scenes that would make To Kill A Mockingbird look like the Oracle of Delphi—“violates both U.S. law and the Geneva Conventions.” I’m no legal scholar but I’m going to guess that Bush, for having violated the Geneva Conventions—which we signed—may have qualified for charges as a war criminal in an international tribunal at some point in the future.
And yet, no one seems to care about this in Washington D.C. The president is an international fugitive from justice and the Bush’s Bitches (formerly known as the U.S. Congress) are talking about trying to circumvent the Supreme Court’s ruling. Bush is their Frankenstein monster now, and I think they secretly know it. They all created him. They took the brain of Rove, the black heart of Cheney, the guts of Bernie Kerik, the sexual ambiguity of Coulter/Gannon and swagger of Benny Hill and, voila, FrankenBush.
See the monster lurch toward a Constitutional crisis! See the robed lords recoil in horror, screaming for their creation to stop, even as he staggers toward Congress demanding new ways to destroy our institutions! See Justices Anthony Kennedy and retired Sandra Day O’Connor, both of whom sided with the 5-4 majority in the Gore v. Bush case of 2001, touring the country, shrieking, “No, no, what have we done?!”
They are just flies buzzing around FrankenBush’s swollen head. He doesn’t hear them. He still has that weird zoned-out smile on his face, that corncob up the ass strut, and he’s headed straight for the National Archives to piss on the Declaration of Independence and the Louisiana Purchase!
As Paul Craig Roberts, a former associate editor of the Wall Street Journal and a former assistant secretary of the U.S. Treasury (read: no pusillanimous hippie), put it, “Bush's assault on freedom: What's to stop him?” Activist R.J. Schinner put it more succinctly: “Checks and balances won’t stop this regime. They have to be driven out.”
You all remember what happened at the end of the Frankenstein movie, don’t you? Will it come to groups of Americans with burning torches cornering Bush on his ranch—oh so deliciously and suggestively close to Koresh’s loony farm in Waco?
I’d pay good money to see that sequel.
Alan Bisbort is a columnist for the Hartford Advocate. His book, "'When You Read This They Will Have Killed Me': The Life and Redemption of Caryl Chessman, Whose Execution Shook America," will be published this fall by Carroll & Graf.
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