Bush's Girly Mandate
by Dave "Doctor" Gonzo

November 5, 2004 -- VEGAS, BABY! (apj.us) -- Regular readers of American Politics Journal -- at least the ones who remember me, seeing as I had to keep a very low profile the last couple of years (the result of a contract clause with a sensitive political client -- the deal's over, I'm finally free, and I'm never, NEVER going to let a dipwad client saddle me with the equivalent of an opinion a gag order again) -- will know that there's nothing The Doc likes more than an amusing snippet of political invective to slap on right-wing nutjobs.

The best nexus for such phrases, terms, and outright insults is to be found in the right column of the indispensable Corrente blog. Scroll down to the banner reading "The Lexicon of Liberal Invective." Memorize 'em all. Use them liberally. Amuse your friends. Amaze talk radio hosts when you call in. Above all, raise the blood pressure of nearby wrongwingers, evangelico-morons and FReepers! You'll feel better.

And so, in the spirit of stepping up the campaign against Blotchy, the Texas Souflée, Pretzel Boy or whatever you wish to call Dear Leader, I would like to add my own humble contribution to the Lexicon as a follow-up to my missive of yesterday, "Mandate of Arrogance" and the meme that's been all over cable "news" (snort) channels and this morning's papers.

It is based on the fact as of 10:30 AM Vegas local time today, CNN reports that at least 57,350,113 Americans voted against George the Lesser (that total only includes people who voted for John Kerry and that Nader beeyatch), and his so-called "margin of victory" is about as thin as Mary-Kate Olson -- and if all the punch-card and "computerized" votes were actually counted, there'd likely be NO margin of victory for Snippy the Wonder Chimp.

And he still wants to claim a mandate.

Right. More like a Girly Mandate.

Leah, Lambert, Tresy, Farmer, Tom, Xan, and RDF at Corrente -- it's all yours!

'Nuff said.