Steve's Unfiltered News of the Day
*An extreme far-centrist foundation!
WITH FRANKEN'S FINANCIAL FUTURE SECURE...
GOOD NEWS PRESIDENTIAL PROGRAMMING
Taking A Page From The Schwarzenegger Playbook
by Steve Young

Oct. 23, 2003 - LOS ANGELES (apj.us) -- President Bush is hitting the road to spread the word.

And that word is "unfiltered." Another word more suited could be unchallenged.

The President and his advisors feel that standard news outlets filter the news unfairly; that the national and international news networks ('cepting obviously FOX News where Bush gave a recent one on one with Brit Hume) have not been reporting the fair and balanced good news out of Iraq. The President will now "go around the press... through television outlets that do not routinely cover the White House."

He has said, "There's a sense that people in America aren't getting the truth. I'm mindful of the filter through which some news travels, and sometimes you just have to go over the heads of the filter and speak directly to the people."

Seems that the biased televised news conferences where the President and his cohorts make their own statements and give their own answers to questions have just been too filtered by their own voices to be comprehended correctly through the eyes and ears of Americans. And obviously the Hometown News Release Program, or what some may call "Positive Form Letters From The Front," have not received the unfiltered attention many in the administration had hoped for.

As reported in a FOX News story, one senior defense official said, "It would have been better still if each [serviceman] had written and signed his own letter."

Witness California Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger's skillful demonstration of only appearing on handpicked Arnold-friendly TV programs, radio outlets and town hall meetings -- where no one contested a statement nor dug any deeper than the vague talking points and sculpted sound bites offered. Now the country's big gun, the one with even a larger deficit than Arnold, is jumping on the soft-ball campaign wagon.

While I'm sure the President has communications people who are quite adept at finding the best outlets to deploy his words, I thought that it would behoove him to think out of the box. And in case his people are stuck somewhere in that box here are some suggestions for President Bush:

Joe Millionaire -- These girls are way more interested in your money than your ideology. They'll "yes" you to death for a chance at the gold.

The 700 Club -- Pat Robertson only wants to nuke your State Department, not the White House.

eBay -- For the right bid there'll be millions of people who'll buy whatever you're selling

The History Channel -- With a backdrop of the real World Wars (I and II), who would question anything the President is doing as 100% right for America? The only thing better would be for him to do it from a wheelchair. How many real Americans disputed FDR?

The Learning Annex -- Not only does this audience here like you so much they'll actually pay to hear you, but you also get a piece of the door.

The Man Show -- The only question that audience asks is, "Are you buying?" And what do care what they think of what you say? They're all drunk anyway.

King of the Hill -- Just let someone dare to quarrel with President Bush in that Texas neighborhood. Hank and Boomhauer would rip a new one into anyone who crosses the top guy. Just make sure it's not the week they have Ann Richards on.

The Weekly Reader -- The kids are tough but the plus is that they really glom onto explanations that don't saunter into three-syllable territory.

If none of these work, try ESPN's Countdown. They won't question a thing... at least while you're still there!

Steve Young is an award-winning television writer, director/writer of "My Dinner With Ovitz"", and author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" (Tallfellow Press -- check out the web site at http://www.greatfailure.com). He writes a regular column for Jewish World Review".