Time for yet more
Cro-Magnon Mail!
Letters from primitive readers!
UPDATED! Koopersmith responds -- the knuckledragger exposes his conspira-wacko side -- our copy editor weighs in on issues of clarity -- and another reader toys with the pre-bronze-age letter-writer!

FROM: Bob (kaiser11a@yahoo.com)
TO: Jeff Koopersmith
RE: comment on column
DATE: June 20, 2003

Jeff,

I had the good fortune to read several of your articles today and they lifted me up like nothing else in the world could have. Because [sic] if they are examples of the best the socialist/liberal left has to offer for journalistic talent, then the growing suspicion among the American public that you democrats [sic] are all mindless automatons will be confirmed. When did you form your political ideology, when you were 3? Or was
it even earlier than that. [sic] I don't know where you got your degree, but you are due a refund. Whatever talent you possess would, I am certain, be better demonstrated in a closed bathroom. At least the odor would be manageable.

You idiots keep blaming conservative media, Fox, Rush, or anybody you can get away with smearing for your withering support. What you refuse to see is that it is the very ideas you espouse that frighten people.

Lenin described you very accurately. "Usefull [sic] Idiots" [sic]

I know you won't print this. Liberals are weak and your fear is that everyone is waking to that fact.

Good fortune indeed...

Bob

Jeff Koopersmith replies:.

What can I say? I probably am mindless and robot-like! What I try to do is combat the 24/7 barrage of right wing neoconservative gibberish that I listen to and read -- because I must, each day. It's part of the job. I believe if you did the same, you would be shocked at what you heard -- even from some supposedly "liberal" sources.

Surely, you cannot take issue with everything I write. I formed my political ideology, as you did yours, over a lifetime. I have many friends and allies on both sides of the aisle, and many are concerned with similar issues.

By the way, I was a registered Republican. Does that surprise you? I also was -- and still am -- a great supporter of Ronald eagan, although I disagreed with some of his domestic policies. Perhaps you should read more of my stuff.

I do worry about the Republican Party. It is controlled by the very types of men and women you accuse me of being.

I'm not sure I am "blaming" media outlets such as FOX or Mr. Limbaugh. They are merely there to amuse the masses -- to bolster our inherent greed and bigotry.

Bob, I will try to write in the wash room more often, at your kind suggestion.

Would it surprise you to also to learn that Mr. Limbaugh's audience is tilted to the left slightly? The left loves to listen to him as entertainment, much as I enjoy monitoring FOX "News" Channel. I am amused that you don't wonder why FOX can arrange to have the Attorney General, or the Secretary of State interviewed in the early morning by a weatherman (Steve Doocy) and a sports announcer and not
wonder "what goes on."

However, I think your letter makes no point except that I am a moron -- a "useful idiot," as you attempted to put it. If you would alert me to specific things I write about with which you disagree, I might be able to better defend myself against your general charges. Or, I might change my mind.

I believe the editors will probably publish your letter and my response. We aren't afraid of criticism. As a matter of fact, I want to thank you for yours. I'll keep it in mind.

I do agree that some liberals are weak -- but so, then, are some conservatives. Your point escapes me, again.

By the way -- do you want us to spell- and grammar-check your notes, or simply leave the errors as is?

Best regards, and good fortune to you and yours as well.

Jeff Koopersmith

FROM: Bob (kaiser11a@yahoo.com)
TO: Jeff Koopersmith
RE: comment on column
DATE: July 1, 2003

Well Koop,

What can I say? You obviously "got me" for the conservative I am. I just read the butcher job you did on my letter. It was disappointing, but no more than I should have expected from an apologist for the socialist-left [e-mail author's improper punctuation is printed as is]. You say you voted for Reagan, and I would love to believe you, but with all the other lies flying around your columns like so much crap on a fan, I would have to see the voting record before that statement would be believed. Thanks God [this is the e-mail author's improper wording, not ours] it wasn't a "butterfly" ballot, eh?

The way I see it, your big problem is I used to vote Democrat. You can't tell me that you're "fighting for my freedoms". The only thing you're fighting for is an elitist status for you and yours that would elevate you above law, moral decency, and even common sense.

I once voted democrat, that is, until I saw the way the party was going. Further I have found that in these times, you can't be a Democrat and feel good about America because democrats [e-mail author's failure to properly capitalize word retained] honestly don't believe that the way this nation was constructed was very good or wise. That it requires "correcting" in order to accommodate everyone...oops [e-mail author's failure to include an operative verb in sentence retained], I should say anyone with an agenda who will contribute to the party [e-mail author's sloppy grammar preserved]. Democrats seem to believe that in lieu of convincing enough right-minded people to actually vote for your agenda, you [mismatched pronoun is as received in original e-mail] must resort to tinkering via the judiciary to "correct" these "flaws". What you idiots on the left don't realize is if your side ever does really get
into power, history has shown time and again that your journalistic freedoms will be the first rights on the chopping block.

Ask Ron Brown, Vince Foster or the people in Waco what happens when you get on the wrong side of liberals. Perhaps some of the 50 million that other great liberal, Stalin, "freed" [e-mail author's failure to include an operative verb in sentence retained]?

Oops...that's right...They're DEAD! (my bad! [failure to capitalize "My" duly noted])

As to Conservatives like Rush and Hannity distorting the truth on the air, I have checked their facts time and again and have yet to find untruths or distortions. On the other hand, I HAVE checked several of the items you and others in your party have presented as "facts" ( knowing that your readers will never check them)and found them to be gross distortions of truth. Sloppy sloppy Koop! Oh, that's RIGHT!! HAH! Who's going to check them! I guess you win!

Signed with pride...
Cro-magnon [Failure to capitalize "Magnon" is noted.]

(You may print this only WITHOUT the "corrections" (sic)
[Failure to match parentheses, misuse of parentheses where brackets would be proper and omission of period have been unchanged.]

A note to the conspiracy-obsessed human (who lacks the brains to understand, among other things, that the strategy for handling the Branch Davidian standoff in Waco was formulated by former president George H. Bush's appointees, not Janet Reno herself) from our copy editor:.

Your original letter was printed without corrections, and with all of your inept grammar, punctuation and wording exactly as we received it, along with an alternate means of indication in accordance with your vaguely and obtusely worded request not to use the more traditional "[sic]", which is used in accordance with traditional publishing and editorial parlance to indicate grammatical and spelling gaffes.

"Sic" is Latin for "as such."

Be careful of the way you word what you ask for, knuckledragger.

FROM: Mike D'Amico
TO: Bob (kaiser11a@yahoo.com)
RE: What are you talking about?
DATE: July 1, 2003

You wrote to Jeff Koopersmith:

I once voted democrat, that is, until I saw the way the party was going. Further I have found that in these times, you can't be a Democrat and feel good about America because democrats [e-mail author's failure to properly capitalize word retained] honestly don't believe that the way this nation was constructed was very good or wise. That it requires "correcting" in order to accommodate everyone...oops

If you want to talk about people who are experts at questioning the good judgment of the framers and who challenge the robustness of the Constitution whenever they don't get their way, talk about the GOP leadership.

You, my friend, are a perfect example of what's wrong with America -- the proverbial virulent, shallow-minded hypocrite.

Let's take a look-see at the GOP record-of-recent regarding constitutional sacrilege.

Which party has tried time and again to hold a constitutional convention designed to prevent flag burning? Does flag burning really need to be addressed in a constitutional amendment? Were the founders so inept that they didn't make flag burning a criminal offense under constitutional law? Or could it be that the founders invited protest to taunt intolerant government? Or might it be Republican frat boys, in laying claim to all things patriotic, using flag burning as a pressing social issue to distract attention from their real anti-people/pro-greed agenda?

What about the GOP endeavor to change the filibuster rules in the Senate? Now that smacks of a political persuasion claiming to represent the very essence of constitutional muster.

What about the most recent GOP gem -- banning homosexual marriages via constitutional amendment? Again, the GOP is appealing to certain elements of our society using a faux-issue to emasculate the rights of other elements of society, all in an effort to distract the public from the truly important issues facing the nation.

Let's call a spade a spade -- the GOP rules by eliciting a mob mentality when it needs to distract the public from Republican impropriety, and rules in secret on anything the leadership deems the public too stupid to comprehend.

Before you jabber-jaw about who wants to "correct" the Constitution to accommodate everyone, check with the GOP's best and brightest (if you can pry them away from the money trough) about their feeble-minded schemes for using the Constitution as an exclusive Republican playground to accommodate the Bush family and their gaggle of ultra-wealthy cronies.

The Shrub Administration is all about circumventing the law to suit its agenda, and changing the law when the law becomes an obstruction to its agenda. Boy, oh boy -- it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the Republican Party is a bastion of constitutional perpetuity.

Oops indeed!

I suggest you read "Stupid White Men" if you haven't already. It's an autobiography of GOP grass-roots support. And it's scary