Flush twice... it's a long way to Sally Quinn's place!

Pundit Pap for May 18, 2003
More Trouble Every Day
Terror strikes in Riyadh, Casablanca as Dems blast Smirk's half-hearted "war in tairists"
By the Pundit Pap Team

May 18, 2003 -- NEW YORK (apj.us) -- Yesterday in Des Moines, Democratic candidates for president unanimously opened a jumbo can of "Go Medieval!" on former Texas governor George W. Bush.

The reason: the Crawford Cretin's all-talk, no-action "war on tairists" has sputtered.

A car bomb attack in Riyadh last week killed nine Americans, including a number of employees of a company that provides support services to the US military. Suicide attackers in Casablanca killed nearly forty people less than two days ago. And suicide bombers struck again in Israel following a meeting between that country's prime minister and his new Palestinian counterpart.

Now what was that His Fraudulence was saying a week ago about Al Qaeda being on the run? Looks like a certain illegitimate occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is going to have to eat a few words.

And the latest wave of terror became topic one on the Sunday news shows. Here's a quick briefing on three of the top shows.

This Weak
Steph the Superstar? Cue laugh track! It's Snow Job time!
Players: George "Steph" Stephanopoulos
House Intelligence Committee Chairman Porter Goss (R-FL)
Ricardo Alarcon, senior adviser to Cuban President Fidel Castro and President of Cuba's Assembly
New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson (D)
washed-up ex-House speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Horndog)

Congressman Goss, who usually appears clean-cut and conservative, was looking uncharacteristically scruffy this particular Sunday morning. His top point, one that Little George's team (that's Bush, not Stephanopoulos) has been trying to make for the last few days, is that the US is supposedly getting better intelligence information on Al Qaeda and can take preemptive measures.

Uh-huh, Porter. Tell that to the nice folks in Riyadh and Casablanca.

There had also been mention of "secret arrests" at the top of the broadcast, and Steph focused early on Al Qaeda operatives outside of the US -- specifically, top players in Iran. And Goss, for good reason, was reluctant to reveal anything. Goss also did the usual saber-rattling about nations that harbor terrorists -- three weeks ago, it would have been Syria; now it's clearly Iran.

When Steph brought up a boastful e-mail from an Al Qaeda spokesman, Goss said an attack against the US is "inevitable... sooner or later they will come out and they will create some mayhem." You've got to love that phrase, "create some mayhem" -- such an effective way to play down damage on the scale, say, of Sept. 11.

Steph asked if the Iraq war had helped Al Qaeda recruit. Goss, in a breathtakingly myopic answer, said no -- because the war showed that we will take on terrorists.

Okay, Porter, once again: Riyadh. Casablanca. Israel. We sure sent one helluva message.

And Steph did not stop there -- bringing up presidential candidate Sen. Bob Graham's (D-FL) accusations of a cover-up vis-à-vis the Sept. 11 attacks. Goss pleaded ignorance.

Following the break, Steph played into Karl Rove's hand by talking up the increased friction between the US and Cuba. Earlier in the week, the US expelled 14 Cuban diplomats. Steph's guest, Cuban Assembly President Alarcon, said they were not spying -- and Cuba would respond to this action. In effect, said Alarcon, the US had shut down Cuba's embassy in Washington. Steph then brought up the execution of Cuban hijackers and dissidents. Alarcon accused some of them of being paid US spies. (We were surprised Alarcon didn't bring up Smirk's jones for executing even repentant people.) There was also back-and-forth about Castro claiming that the US was planning an invasion. Alarcon blasted the continuing US trade embargo against Cuba. Steph talked a little about Carter's visit to Cuba and what had looked like a warming of relations.

Alarcon blasted the cooling of relations. Steph returned to the "summary" execution of three hijackers. Alarcon said that these were violent criminals; Steph said, "So you have to send a message."

Does it feel to Alarcon like 1962 and the Cuban Missile Crisis again? (Please -- talk about hyperbole -- unless the Chinp-in-Chief is planning to invade Cuba, and we wouldn't put it past him.) Alarcon slapped down the silly question, pointing out there is only one superpower.

Steph then turned to Gov. Richardson -- who feels that Castro WANTS the embargo as a political rallying point; lifting the embargo would foster free enterprise and foment the erosion of Fidel's authoritarian regime. Richardson said he also supports federal funding of the opposition.

Newt Gingrich, the other guest, claimed that he know of no dictator getting weaker when the economy got stronger.

Well, dumbass, that's because in every case, the US policy was to thwart free markets and greater aid.

Now, where the hell did ABC get it in their head to invite Gingrich? He's a shamed, crooked has-been if there ever was one. It would be one thing if Gingrich showed upon the FAUX News and Felon Rehab Channel (home of Ollie "Shred It All and Lie to Congress" North), but ABC? Lately, they've managed to book some pretty interesting guests; three of today's were timely and interesting -- but Newt's unwelcome appearance completely scuttled the conspicuous improvements of recent weeks.

Steph did get in a dig at Team Smirk by mentioning to the amphibian Newt that he'd been whining about the State Department -- putting Newt on the defensive and prompting him to sleaze into the usual neo-fascist denunciation of a 'culture" at the State Department. (Translation: they actually want to negotiate, don't think that use of the military as a tool of statecraft is too wise, and dammit, I'm on the Defense Policy Board to help War Wuss Dicky Perle get his way!) Richardson replied by suggesting that with Smirk's War over, it's time to ratchet up the diplomacy and send a message that our strength is in our negotiating acumen -- "Let's let Colin Powell, who does a superb job, continue his work."

Eat that, Newt!

When Steph warned us that George "Clothes on the Lawn" Will was on deck, we switched channels. Fast.

FAUX News Sunday
Players: Tony Snow, the fastest interviewer on Sunday morning
Adel Al-Jubair, spokesman for the House of Saud

Homicide bombers! Getting tough on terrorists! Saudi Arabia! Morocco! Is this the work of a revived Al Qaeda?

Ooooooh! Spooky stuff, Tony -- not to mention a hint that this week's FAUX spin is that the Texas Dauphin can win the war on "tairists," gol durn it! And you've got to love the relish and vigor with which Tony punctuates the official Karl Rove spin slogan "homicide bombers."

Before turning to Adel al-Jubair (thankfully in Western dress this time around -- he has appeared on some talk shows in trademark Saudi garb), Tony read the latest terrorist headlines and reviewed the body count.

This was a pretty important interview, in that Jubair reiterated a major shift in the official Saudi line -- they are now acknowledging that fundamentalist Muslim extremists are a serious internal problem, one that has impacted on their friends and allies in the form of dead foreign nationals killed by terrorists. Jubair would reiterate this on CNN's Late Edition at even greater length.

Naturally, the interview hit on far more than this key point -- Jubair claimed the FBI is "impressed" with the Saudi investigation, but there have been no arrests. Tony said there was evidence that Al Qaeda had gotten access to security uniforms and keys, and some in Saudi Arabia had been supporters of Al Qaeda; what will Saudi Arabia do to cut them off? This is where Jubair made the mea culpa, adding that there was a need for the nation to reexamine its culture and policies.

That one just about had our jaws dragging on the floor. It's pretty clear now that there has in fact been a power struggle at the top of the House of Saud, and the murder of Americans this week has put the moderates on the offensive.

Tony quoted one Saudi Arabia official who said that there has been too much toleration of extremism. Jubair said that the Prime Minister has said that Saudi Arabia will go after extremists. Tony named three Saudi Arabia clerics who had praised bombers in Riyadh -- and Jubair said that some of these clerics are underground, and the pulpit cannot be used for religious purposes; over the last six months, preachers have been fired from mosques for extremism. Tony asked if a showdown between extremists and non-extremists in the Saudi Arabia government is inevitable; Jubair said yes, and with a great deal of confidence, telegraphing the Saudi moderates' image of being in the driver's seat -- and sending more than a veiled warning to Wahabi extremists that they are headed for the Dispoz-all of History.

Tony then castigated Saudi Arabia for not cooperating enough with the FBI; Jubair defended his country's law enforcement officials and said that both countries would be remiss if they did not find and share clues.

Tony then asked what Jubair knew about Al Qaeda being run out of Iraq -- and where is Osama? Jubair said that the rest of the bin Laden family has suffered as a result of Osama's actions. But where is he? Jubair does not know.

Has terrorist funding from Saudi Arabia been ended? Jubair said yes, and cited a number of so-called charities that had been shut down. Are Americans safe in Saudi Arabia? Jubair said they are safer than they were a week ago.

Ouch. Not a good choice of words, Adel.

There was a long exchange between Tony and Jubair about the way in which Saudi Arabia children are taught about Jews and Christians.

Finally, Tony asked the "money" question for conspiracy theorists and Middle East watchers: why did Prince Bandar cancel his appearances on the Sunday talk shows? Jubair said that he has been sent on a confidential mission; Jubair believes it has to do with the war on terrorism.

Deface the Nation
Players: Bob Schieffer
Sen. John Kerry (D-MA), implacable presidential candidate

Bob Schieffer started by asking Kerry a question about Al Qaeda -- which gave Kerry a chance to blast both the premature "triumphalism" of Team Shrubster and the bungling of the Tora Bora attacks, adding that one Tora Bora escapee is thought to have planned one of this week's attacks.

Yow! Kerry looked confident and sounded assertive.

Schieffer then recounted Bob Graham having said that Smirk's War failed to take out Saddam and became a diversion from a failed war on terror -- but Kerry voted to authorize the war! Kerry, smiling (having obviously anticipated that question), said he's glad Saddam's gone -- but Smirk failed to build a real coalition, and the Monkey Misadministration is in disarray over building a peace for which they just plain failed to plan. Governance of --and humanitarian aid for -- Iraq requires other countries, and Smirk was obsessed with Iraq to the point where he dropped the ball on fighting terror.

Even Schieffer seemed impressed with Kerry's bold critique of Junior's mishandling of the geopolitical situation.

Karen Tumulty said that Kerry had once said Saddam had WMDs -- but all we are finding are vacuum cleaners! Does it matter that we have not found them -- and what does that say about intelligence? Kerry said that we have found that Iraq was far along on development of nuclear weapons and they once had huge amounts of chemical and biological weapons, and there was information that they were tied into terror networks (note that he did NOT say Al Qaeda -- but he should have named at least one). And yes, that does say that we should be taking a second look at the old intelligence that he had believed. (In other words, were hawks at the CIA and NSA handing Little George -- and even Bill Clinton -- data that was engineered to foment military action?) There is also, said Kerry, a question about whether we have been tough enough on the Saudis. Will extremists be isolated -- or will the US?

Kerry's query was answered in part over on FAUX and on CNN by Al Jubair -- but he is maintaining a healthy skepticism.

Tumulty asked if Kerry felt we've been tough enough on the Saudis, and Kerry said that "we have not had the kind of engagement" we need with not only the Saudis but other nations. Kerry even questioned Pakistan's commitment to going after Al Qaeda and the effectiveness of military excursions. Going after Al Qaeda, he said, requires intelligence and diplomacy far more than a military campaign -- and Smirk has been disengaged diplomatically.

Schieffer tried to chide Kerry by pointing out that we sent five envoys to Saudi Arabia to warn them something was in the works -- and one of the decision-makers in the Saudi government is an avowed anti-Semite. What would President Kerry do about this? Kerry parleyed the question into an attack on two of Smirk's failed policies: he said that for starters, he would have had a different energy policy in place that would not put us at the mercy of Saudi Arabia -- and "this administration has NO energy policy." Desert Storm was about protecting not only Kuwait but Saudi Arabia from Iraqi designs -- and Junior's Diplomatic Clown College has walked away from the Middle East mess. The entire direction of the war against terrorism and the Middle East is now dependent on success in Iraq -- and that means getting the international community involved.

Yeah, baby! Don't forget that Dick Cheney's mantra all during the 2000 campaign was, "We have no energy policy." Kerry's right -- Smirk and his Petrocabinet have NO clearly defined "energy policy" other than seizing Iraqi oil fields and are diplomatic bunglers.

How can you bring pressure on the Saudis? Kerry recounted a speech he gave two months ago that laid out a foreign policy where 50% of the population in the Arab world is under 18 and being taught hate and not skills in schools. Kerry supports engaging them in a campaign to change their interior education and economic policies.

Tumulty asked how worried Kerry is about another terrorist attack in the US. Kerry said Smirk has admitted it is not a matter of "if" but "when." If that's the case, why are firefighters being laid off? Why is homeland security being shortchanged while the ultra-rich get a big tax giveback? And, added Kerry, 22,000 screeners at airports have not had criminal background checks.

Does Kerry support televised debates once a month as Lieberman has said? Kerry said he's happy to have debates, but he and others have to raise money, so maybe once a month is a bit too much.

Keep an eye on Kerry. APJ is very, very far from decided on who we support, but Kerry's clear and tough talk is going to be a headache for George and his Junta. The former Texas governor's surrogates have dishonestly attacked Kerry over his ancestry, trying to use a similar spin to the "Gore is not authentic" meme that the Washington press whores so eagerly peddled during the 2000 campaign. Worse yet, the GOP attack machine has decided to victimize Kerry's wife.

Big mistake: according to US News & World Report,

Critics of Teresa Heinz Kerry's unorthodox and outspoken views have the fabulously rich wife of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry reaching for her $550 million can of whup-ass. Originally reserved to counter GOP sniping at her hubby, Heinz Kerry is now open to spending some of her ketchup fortune on a counterattack.

"The assumption," says a friend, "was always that the attacks would be on him, not her." But now: "The attacks on her have exponentially increased the likelihood of her tapping the fortune." Heinz Kerry, previously married to ketchup heir Sen. John Heinz, who died in a plane crash, has been ridiculed by Republicans for recent statements promoting Botox treatments, prenuptial agreements, and feeding rabbits to kids. One critic compared her to egomaniac Donald Trump, calling Mrs. H.K. "the Teresa."

If Republicans don't shut up, warns one of her friends, she'll give Kerry a war chest that would dwarf anything President Bush could collect.

"It would be George Bush's worst nightmare," says the friend.

Now that's one reason we'd love to see Kerry nominated -- the corollary advantage being all that DNC money freed up to take back the Congress.

Get out the brooms -- can you say sweep?

-- Morrie Friendly and Jane Grice