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Politics 101
The Unbearable Lightness of "Now"
by Steve Young
April 22, 2002 -- Los Angeles (APJP) -- "Now" is such a fun word.
It can mean "immediately" or "at this time,"
or things that should be done "at once. "
If you mother says she wants you to clean your room, "now,"
she makes it very clear.
She will probably follow it up with, "that doesn't mean tomorrow,"
Or "in an hour," or "after you finish Nintendo. "
She means "now. "
It's pretty unambiguous.
But if you're in government "now" could also mean "now" tomorrow or "now" the next day.
Let's say, for example's sake, the President says he wants a country to pull it's troops out of another's land,
and he says he wants them to do it "now,"
and if he really wants to mean it, he'll follow it up with, "I meant what I said. "
He's such a straight shooter you know when he says "now" he means it.
Not like that "depends what is is'" guy who used to be President.
This President doesn't deal in gray areas.
Evil-doers. Evil-axis. I don't think we have a question what he means.
That, of course, unless, that country the President wants out of the other's land ignores the President and doesn't pull out. . "NOW,"
because there's a bunch of freakin' fanatics hidden in that land who are willing to kill innocents,
And they aren't pulling out until they wipe the lunatic bunch of them.
Y'know, kinda like those real evil-doers in that country we were fighting a little earlier.
The "now" is up for grabs.
Then "now" means "whenever" they do pull out,
because you know that sooner or later they will.
And when they do start pulling out the President will say,
"See, they're pulling out...now. Isn't that what I said?"
And when you ask for a clarification, the President's spokesperson says,
"Hey, I don't know what your problem is Helen.
The President said, 'now' and we couldn't have any more 'now' than the 'now' we have right now. "
And there you have it.
"Now" means "now,"
unless it doesn't.
Then "now" means whatever you want it to mean.
Now...tell that to your mom.
Understand?
Copyright © 2002, Bryan Zepp Jamieson.