American Politics Journal -- Pundit Pap

Pundit Pap
for Sunday, April 21
Powell cleans up after Cheney's mess
by the Pundit Pap Team

April 21, 2002 -- New York/Washington/Chicago (APJP) -- The army of Smirk Junta spinners had spent the 72 hours leading up to the Sunday pundit shows trying to portray Colin Powell's tour of the Middle East as some sort of "success."

It goes without saying that the truth-challenged team that feeds the former Texas Governor his dialogue know that nothing could be further from the truth. Israel still has tanks in the West Bank. Yassir Arafat is still a prisoner in his own headquarters. Ariel Sharon is being called on the carpet for his extremism. UN inspectors are in Jenin. And the entire region is still a tinderbox.

On the upside, Powell may have succeeded in dissuading Lebanon from going to war with Israel and convincing Arab nations to put pressure on Arafat and militant quasi-Islamic types -- and, in an underreported angle to the tour, may have been more effective than Dick Cheney in convincing some Mideast countries that Saddam Hussein remains a problem not just for Israel and the US but Arab states as well.

Nevertheless, the West Wing was in full damage control mode, sending the immensely popular Powell out to face three chat shows this Sunday -- not so much to turn Powell into some sort of Bill Clinton-style peacemaker, but to get the press to ignore the underlying problem: Smirk is not merely "disengaged" and "isolationist" but lacks the intellectual strength to press for peace in the region.

Powell turned out to be pretty effective this weekend, and that should be no surprise -- he's a slick operator. He's managed to avoid press scrutiny of both his role as a "fixer" in the Iran-Contra scandal during the regime of George I and his publicity-glomming charitable operation, America's Promise, which puts only a minuscule fraction of the money it raises toward actually aiding poor kids.

And you have to hand it to the press -- Bill Clinton's offer to give the Doofus-in-Chief a hand in negotiating peace was hardly mentioned all weekend, and when it was, the best the "Beltway experts" could offer was dishonest psychobabble about Clinton somehow looking for attention.

Far be it from the Opinion Mafia to state the obvious truth -- they wouldn't have Bill Clinton to kick around once again if the Smirking Pretender had actually done his job and followed through on the sizable progress Clinton made toward peace in the region.

But then, that's not their job -- they have to keep GE stockholder, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, and their not-so-indirect contacts at the RNC happy.

Here's what we say this Sunday...

FAUX News Sunday
Get Yassir!

Tony Snow had the weekend off -- which meant we would have to suffer through the reactionary rantings and petulant frowning of Brit Hume.

Before the guest segments, Brit turned to some inconsequential FAUX reporter stuck in the Middle East who speculated on a possible successor to that man of non-peace, Palestinian Authority top jackal Yassir Arafat.

And that would be the theme of this week's FNS: "Get Arafat." It's time for him to go, one way or the other -- but then, there are many who say the same about Israel's Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, no angel himself.

Guest one: Colin Powell. Brit gave him a wide birth to make his first point: it's time for a cease-fire and a common vision of a Palestinian state living in peace with Israel. He made no bones about it: it's a tough goal, and he pressed Arafat specifically on that goal -- as well as an end to suicide bombings and attacks on Israel. He characterized Arafat as open to discussion -- but still wants a demonstration of good faith. Powell said he had been disappointed in the past and was not "naive" (we wish he had added "like my so-called boss").

What happened in Jenin? Hume, who usually goes to great lengths to stick up for Israel (especially when a right-winger is on the show) actually went so far as to admit that there have been claims of human rights abuses and a massacre in Jenin. Powell admitted that there are questions (translation: Israel needs time to cook up a good excuse to justify what happened there) -- but spent a lot more time talking about the US backing and sending in humanitarian aid. Hume then attacked Israel, saying that they were trying to keep out certain UN officials.

Talk about a 180-degree turn!

Hume asked about other nations Powell visited; Powell emphatically said he was not "bearing water for Israel" just before Hume asked him about Egyptian President Mubarak "snubbing" Powell. Powell put up cover both for Mubarak and the Chimp-in-Chief by saying that Mubarak did want to meet with him but said he was ill, so Powell instead met with his Egyptian counterpart and even chatted with Mubarak on a cell phone.

Powell then said Sharon is committed to a political solution leading to a Palestinian state and Arafat has to show good faith, bolstering the spin point that "Sharon is a man of peace" and hoping Arafat would show that he is too.

It was a relatively short segment -- only about ten minutes (Powell was booked on two other Sunday shows), but one thing was clear: Powell's single goal was to prop up all of "President" Bunnypants' claims of a few days ago, namely that Powell's tour was a smashing success, the shooting has more or less stopped, Israel is pulling out of Palestinian territory, Sharon's a man of peace, and Arafat has to step up to the plate. Hume hardly challenged Powell on anything, even while asking some tough question about Israel -- and Hume sure afforded Powell a chance to "undo" the report that he had been snubbed by Mubarak.

The second guest was Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-CT). Hume immediately put Lieberman on the spot, playing video bites of the Senator criticizing Smirk over support of Israel -- and Lieberman said his views are about the same today in that Smirk's team has no "moral clarity" on Israel (translation: the US does not stick up enough for Israel when it comes to their eliminating terrorists) and recent events may give the Chimp a chance to "put things straight". Lieberman said that his problem was that Smirk asked Israel "to stop destroying the terrorist infrastructure" -- and did so publicly, which means "we lose credibility" in our "war against terror". Fred "The Sleaz-le" Barnes theorized that Shrubbie privately told Sharon that Israel could go Medieval on their violent enemies. In response to a question from Mara Liasson, Lieberman emphatically mentioned Smirk's "you're either with us or against us" line and supported Cheney's trip to the Middle East to explain our desire to get rid of Saddam Hussein.

It's been pretty clear that Lieberman is a hawk in the "war on terror" -- but he was also blasting Smirk for waffling in the war on terrorism, which only goes to demonstrate how easy it is to use the notion of so-called "moral clarity" (i.e. everything is black and white) against the Crawford Crook and his entire cadre, for example the "moral clarity" of signing treaties with South American countries that precludes helping overthrow other countries, then fomenting a failed coup in Venezuela.

Come to think of it, it's interesting that there was NOT ONE MENTION of the Venezuela mess this Sunday. Funny how embarrassing failures somehow get dropped from the pundit agenda.

But that's another story...

Juan Williams asked about calls for an investigation in Jenin -- and Lieberman said that it is perfectly appropriate for the UN to look into the events in the Palestinian refugee camp. He said he does not believe there were war crimes committed -- but admitted that the destruction visited upon the refugee camp was massive. Juan turned to domestic, internecine politics within the Democratic party: will the all-over-the-spectrum position on Israel break the Dems apart? Lieberman rightfully scoffed at the silly question -- but also claimed that Dems on the Hill are squarely behind Israel, which is not entirely true.

Barnes asked about Al Gore's speech, making a point that he did not speak about foreign issues -- and Lieberman called it a "catharsis" for Floridians (catharsis? that would involve Smirk 'fessing up to the theft of the election and Gore's inauguration). Once again, Lieberman said he would not run if Gore runs in '04.

Mara Liasson turned the talk to energy -- and Lieberman said he has sponsored a bill that promotes fuel and energy efficiency. Mara asked why Lieberman himself can't get more Dems to back fuel efficiency; Lieberman didn't answer, opting to say there's a waiting list for hybrid cars and called the Senate's dropping efficiency standards "shortsighted".

Hume's third guest: peace negotiator Dennis Ross, who brokered the near-peace agreement at Camp David under Clinton. Ross first undid some right-wing mythology: Clinton never presented a comprehensive plan for a settlement, and after the summit Arafat asked for another summit -- to which Clinton said, "You blew your wad" (in other words, Arafat screwed up, as Cheney would say, "big time"). Private channels were opened up, and in early December 2000, there was a call for a follow-up and a plan that included return of 97% of occupied territory for Palestinians, their capitol in Jerusalem, and peace. Barnes said that there are claims that Arafat said yes -- and Ross, again undoing a right-wing myth, said that's true to a point: Arafat rejected all of Israel's points, which is in effect not a yes! Ross also reviewed a map of Palestinian territory, essentially puncturing Palestinian claims that Israel was setting up isolated cantons. Was Arafat alone in rejecting it? Ross essentially said yes -- Arafat's negotiators knew it was a good deal (in other words, Palestinians would be better off without the guy).

Then Ross turned to the end of negotiations -- and suggested that Arafat does not want the struggle to end because his career would be over (somehow, we can't buy that completely, even if Arafat seems eager to be a martyr, which seems more of a propaganda ploy than his actual sentiments). But Ross also said that former Israel PM Ehud Barak showed by his actions and commitment that Israel was ready at that time for peace.

Now, we all know that FOX has often uncritically cast Israel -- specifically Sharon -- as the hero and Arafat as the villain. It seemed two things were going on here: Ross was indeed being used to cast Arafat as the villain. But Ross rather subtly undercut Sharon and Snippy, more than hinting that his efforts would have continued if Gore had been sworn in, and Palestinians themselves may have put the pressure on Arafat -- and Sharon.

After Hume lied about the investigation into so-called "vandalism" by departing Clinton staffers (and failed to mention that the investigation cost more than a quarter million dollars and turned up a mere -- and some say overstated -- $14,000 in "damage" from over 5,000 employees, mostly pranks that would've cost pennies and not dollars to fix), it was panel time -- and the scattershot opining was pretty bizarre. Bill Kristol said he wants Smirk to pressure Saudi Arabia over their "rewarding" of families of terrorist bombers. Barnes said Smirk has backed down on what is acceptable on the part of Arafat, and he needs to turn up the pressure. Mara said that Smirk has not pressured the Saudis -- but what will be the consequences if they say no? Juan said that Israel and the US are turning Arafat into a martyr, and other Middle East nations have to be empowered to enforce peace in the region.

Hume asked about what the panel can conclude happened in Jenin. Juan said civilians were killed and the place was leveled -- but the question remains: was there a massacre? Barnes dismissed the notion and contemptuously mocked the existence of Palestinian refugee camps. Mara said that reports and interviews with both sides indicate there was no massacre. Kristol said that the bulldozing of Jenin is the result of booby-trapped buildings and snipers -- and slammed the US for going along with a UN investigation (no surprise there -- he and his Weakly Standard propaganda magazine hate "the specter of world government" almost as much as Palestinians). Juan said there's a difference between concern over booby traps and killing civilians, but also wrote them off as collateral damage (and this is exactly the type of situation used to inflame Muslim extremists). Juan added that many feel our war on terror has been hijacked by Israel -- huh? There must be something in the cooler water (one of our columnists suspects Juan dropped acid -- wouldn't surprise us). Kristol said that Palestinians fought hard in Jenin -- to which Juan fired back by criticizing Bush for calling Sharon a "man of peace". The incredulity on Mara's face hinted that she agreed.

Hume brought up Ross's comments on Arafat walking away from the deal of a lifetime. Mara said it makes Arafat looks bad -- and Kristol called it a good reason for Arafat to be taken out of the action.

Which, of course, was the main message of FAUX News Sunday this week.

-- J.J. Balzer

McLaugh-In
Scapegoating Powell

We caught the first half of McLaugh-In this week. Issue one: casting Powell as impotent! in his setup piece, John McLaughlin went out of his way to bellow that Powell's trip was a complete failure.

The panel thought differently. Pat "White Rights" Puke-KKKanan said that Smirk's prestige has been hurt and the Middle East situation will get a lot worse; the Neocons' plan for Iraq is the more important subject and must go on hold. Eleanor Clift said Smirk got slapped down and loses face in the Middle East; Egypt's "Mubarak has a headache" snub may be the precursor of regional "flu". Tony Blankley said that Smirk never intended the Powell mission to be a success but an act of defusing Arab frustration so that Saddam could be taken out. Mort Zukerman called John "one-sided" (we're shocked) -- and said that Powell had managed to calm down Israel-Lebanon tensions and did get Europe to back off imposing sanctions on Israel. Eleanor said that Powell did take the edge out of a lot of the vitriol and got Arafat to denounce terrorism in Arabic. To our delight, Pat then called the Smirk team "pathetic" -- and Tony jumped to Chimpy's defense before Eleanor called the past seven days the worst foreign policy week in a very long time. Pat began screaming that Shrub DEMANDED Israel withdraw from Palestinian towns and Sharon IGNORED him -- and that Israel's interests are in conflict with America's. There was more shouting between members of television's longest-running group therapy session -- Eleanor shouted that Israel's survival is in American interests, and Mort shrieked that the war on terrorism is in our interests.

Jenin! Carnage! Video clips! John said that a UN envoy was prevented from entering for 11 days -- and the question of war crimes by Israel has been raised. Mort, who just must have been right there in the middle of Jenin to be so enlightened, said that there was house-to-house fighting, that "war is not a tea party," and that there were civilian shooters. John said there was a denial of medical assistance. Pat flat-out denied there were war crimes because -- catch this -- bulldozing buildings with families inside is "not a traditional war crime." Tony said he agreed with Mort and Pat and brought up the accusation that Red Crescent ambulances were being used to hide terrorists.

Eleanor forecast Congressional support for Israel; Tony said about a third of the country is hostile to Israel, two-thirds support the country; Pat said that Americans do not support foreign aid, Americans don't like Palestinians, and Israel is pushing the envelope; Mort said America is pro-Israel; shouting over the European press and the war on terrorism ensued.

Question: when will Israel be out of the West Bank and Gaza?
Pat: Weeks!
Eleanor: Not in the foreseeable future.
Tony: They'll stay in Bethlehem.
Mort: ...and Ramallah, but they'll be out of every other spot by the end of the week.
John: Mort is right.

We skipped the second segment, but did catch the final McLaugh-In 20th Anniversary moment. From the 1991 program that followed the end of Desert Storm, John asked his panel (Pat, Fred "The Weasel" Barnes, Eleanor, and the very-much-missed Jack Germond) how long Saddam would stay in power. The panelists' forecasts ranged from days to about a year -- except John, who proclaimed, "Indefinitely!"

Okay, John, we get the point -- in a twenty-year period, you actually did get one right!

-- Donna Wynner

Feed the Press
Tim Russert props up Colin Powell

Tim Russert's first guest was Colin Powell, live from the State Department.

Tim began by saying, "No cease-fire, no peace agreement" (translation: "You failed, you wuss!") -- and asked if he is returning to the Middle East. Powell said he did not go with the expectation of peace, but Israel is withdrawing and tensions are winding down. What about an international summit to deal with the crisis? Powell said that the standoffs at the Church of the Nativity and Arafat's compound have to be resolved, and the US is sending relief and medical supplies to Jenin, which needs to be rebuilt. Powell added that it's time for a strategic framework and political negotiations because there cannot be a military solution -- and he will press for that strategic framework.

Tim indirectly slammed His Fraudulence for not being engaged -- and Powell admitted that the US must take the lead in bringing about a political solution to the Israel-Palestinian conflict.

Tim said that Israel is ignoring a UN resolution calling for their withdrawal; Powell said they were withdrawing, though he would have preferred an immediate withdrawal (translation: "Sharon doesn't give a damn what Smirk or I say"). Powell added that Sharon had given him a timeline for withdrawal, and they are sticking to it, and also said that Arafat needs to have at least his lines of communication restored.

Powell noted that Arafat "has disappointed us in the past" -- and has to show that he will get on board the peace effort. Tim then soft-balled the "Sharon is a man of peace" assertion from Smirk. Powell said that the US wants to see Israel and Palestine living peacefully side-by-side. Tim (in an effort to cast the Saudis as villains -- which, with the exception of Prince Abdullah, isn't far form the truth) brought up Saudi Prince Bandar's criticism of Israel for keeping Arafat a de facto prisoner, and Powell said that it is time for Arafat to fully break away from violence -- Palestine will thrive, he predicted, if they choose the path to peace.

Tim quoted Israel's transportation minister, who told a London paper Israel would seek annexation of half the West Bank; Powell feigned ignorance of the notion, but would not discount that Israel may seek it; he deflected to the vision of "23 Arab states living in peace with Israel".

Guest two: Israel's Foreign Minister, Shimon Peres. Tim said that the US has demanded Israel pull out of the West Bank. Peres said that he hopes the pullout will be complete this week. How long will Arafat "be under house arrest?" Peres said that Arafat must agree to the extradition of people trapped with him who were behind the assassination of Israel's travel minister. Peres then made his main point -- Arafat was supposed to end Palestinian terror networks; he didn't; Israel had to act. Israel gave back to Egypt and Jordan all of the land they occupied; it is time for Arafat to move on the land-for-peace offer. Tim brought up the annexation story; Peres called it an "unofficial proposal." Tim then again quoted Prince Bandar, who said that Israel has lost the battle against angry fanatics. Peres said that Israel wants to win the peace and seeks a way out of the present situation -- and does not want to humiliate Palestinians. Tim then turned to poll numbers -- before the occupation, Arafat was at 40% among Palestinians, now he's at 80%. Peres naively replied, "Leaders should lead, not follow polls," before calling on Arafat to stop attacks on Israel and stop inciting hatred and violence.

"Leaders should lead, not follow polls" -- he could've been talking about Smirky (or Clinton, or Bush I, for that matter). If anything, the poll shows that favorability scores for one's leaders go up in wartime.

Peres added that he's not against Arafat -- he negotiated with him -- then, in response to Tim's question about sending Arafat into exile, called the notion foolish. Instead, he said, Palestinians should change their policy and the US, UN, Russia and the EU should stand up for a Palestinian state by pushing Palestinians to not only abandon terrorism but fight it. Peres praised Saudi Prince Abdullah for his ideas, but said that the details of making peace are a complicated matter.

Tim turned to his continuing obsession over the Church of the Nativity -- where, he claimed, priests are being starved. Peres wants gunmen out of there -- and murderers holed up in the church to "leave the country."

Tim then dug into the NBC archives, playing a 22-year-old video clip of Peres saying that he did not want Israel to be "a dominating nation." Is it a dominating nation? Against our will, said Peres -- now we want peace.

Talk the turned to Saudi Prince Abdullah's coming summit with the Texas Dauphin with his guest, Saudi foreign policy adviser Adel Al-Jubeir. Al-Jubeir said that Sharon must back down and recall troops from Palestinian territory, and that Saudi Arabia is getting mixed messages from Israel with talk of annexation. Tim responded by saying Saudi Arabia is sending mixed messages itself with an ambassador who writes poetry praising suicide bombers as "martyrs." In a surprising bit of mendacity, Al-Jubeir said the ambassador was expressing his frustration through poetry!

Tim said that many accuse Saudi Arabia of tacitly supporting terrorism -- and one cleric called for the slaughter of Jews. Al-Jubeir said that is the reason it is important to keep the focus on the bigger picture, rattling off a slew of points important to Saudi Arabia and calling for Israel to compromise.

Tim then slammed Saudi Arabia for the Royal-sponsored telethon that raised money, Tim claimed, for families of suicide bombers -- aren't they murderers, not martyrs? Al-Jubeir said that Saudi Arabia has denounced the killing of civilians, but they are proud of the telethon -- and when they say martyrs, that means innocent victims, and the money goes to putting food on the table and building infrastructure (not quite a direct denial of the facts as stated by Tim). Are the suicide bombers murderers or martyrs? Al-Jubeir said that it's time to look at the underlying cause of these bombers.

Is Saudi Arabia ready to tell Arafat to cease and desist from anything that will undercut peace? Al-Jubeir deflected, saying it takes two to tango -- and criticized Israel for stalling, saying one thing and doing nothing. What about an international conference? That, said Al-Jubeir, is up to the two parties.

Should Arafat denounce terrorism? Al-Jubeir said he believed Arafat had done that -- and Israel engaged in assassination of Palestinian leaders. It's not easy to comply "when the other party is hitting you over the head with a baseball bat." Al-Jubeir added that it was Sharon who walked away from peace talks. Al-Jubeir repeatedly referred to an "official" Israeli document that called for peace.

Tim then asked Al-Jubeir about the fact that most of the Sept. 11 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia; Al-Jubeir theorized that bin Laden did it to make Saudis look bad; Tim responded by quoting a Saudi textbook that urges students to see Americans as the enemy; Al-Jubeir responded that it's easy to chop up the Bible and use it to foment hatred, and there were no such extremists attacking America from the 1960s to the '80s when the Saudi education system was far more militant.

Tim did his best to cast our "allies" the Saudis as villains -- but did it in such a heavy-handed, cheap-shot, rapid-fire attack that we think even a confirmed Likudnik would be outraged.

Then: Catholicism on parade! "Father" Tim wasted about fifteen minutes talking with DC Archbishop John McCarrick about the coming summit between the Pope and all eleven US cardinals concerning the Catholic clergy pedophilia scandal.

The real scandal, naturally, is the fact that the church has not only engaged in a criminal cover-up of the conduct of pedophile priests but continues to hamper federal and local criminal investigations. There is a political element to the story -- but don't count on the "moral clarity" flogged by a conservative-controlled broadcast press to come into conflict with criminal corruption by a Christian religion!

-- J.J. Balzer

Later today: more pap!

J.J. Balzer is a former television news producer. He lives in New York City.

Donna Wynner is a lawyer. She lives in Fort Lee, New Jersey.

Dash Riprock is a freelance smart-aleck based in Moline, IL. Reach out and bludgeon him about the head and shoulders at dashriprockapj@hotmail.com