Sunday, January 20, 2002, 2:00 PM EST (APJP)  -- Enrongate is not going away -- in fact, it's engulfing figures in Texas, Washington and New York.  It hits political, regulatory and business figures; it will surely find its way to offshore financial institutions and likely trigger a major investigation of derivatives and other coimplex and fragile financing scxhemes.

The producers and string-pullers at the Sunday shows made sure to distract attention toward the "war on terrorism" by making sure to top the shows with news of the death of two Marines on a helicopter resupply mission in Afghanistan.  

Pretzelgate got a little play.  Our doofus-in-chief allegedly "mis-swallowed" one of the crispy snack treats and "fainted.  We couldn't help wondering if copious quantities of alcohol may have played a role.

But on to Enrongate -- and the unsuccessful efforts by the punditocracy to put it in the back seat.

This Weak
Hiding Enrongate behind Colin Powell 

This Week remains the most heavily padded of the Sunday blatherfests.  Over a period of one hour, the usual gang of "insiders" -- Cokie Boggs Roberts, Sam "The Toup" Donaldson, George "Brutus" Stephanopoulos, and George "Migraine" Will -- manage to cover less ground than CBS's half-hour Face the Nation.  This is accomplished by news flashes at the top of the show, unenlightening video set-up pieces prior to interviews, summaries of the week's news, and, of course, the one feature most worth ignoring, George Will's "Fascist Last Word".

The show has always come up at the bottom of the Sunday politics ratings barrel.  In the past two years, we have seen the format undergo a few major overhauls.  They have not worked because the changes were meant to mask the weakness of ABC's gang of idiots.

As always, the weekly spectacle began with the requisite "preview" padding. Donaldson pointedly reported the death of two more Marines in Afghanistan, the result of a helicopter crash, in a transparent effort to remind viewers that we're at war, dammit, and that's supposed to be the number one issue in America in the eyes of the un-"liberal" media conglomerates that control television news.  Never mind that troublesome little Enrongate matter -- we'll just move that to a secondary position on the show to reinforce the whines that there's nothing to it.

Sam's first guest was King Chimpy's affable Foreign Minister, Colin Powell.  Powell, who consistently comes across as the most level-headed of His Fraudulent Majesty's team of right-wing hacks, gave a huge "no comment" in response to Sam's question concerning reports that an American plane built to be China's equivalent of Air Force One had some twenty bugging devices in it.  Sam and Colin then turned to the messy diplomatic and military situation in Saudi Arabia.  Powell continued to play down reports that Saudi leaders want US military forces out of the country -- a report he semmed hell-bent to dismiss (we believe Powell is right to do so in that it helps undermine the most authoritarian, anti-Enlightenment, militantly Islamic conservative element of the Saudi state).  Powell's other key goal was to get across the point that he is "not sure" that the average Saudi really does want to eject American forces. Sam fed Powell the fact that one of  Osama bin Laden's goals is to see American forces ejected from Saudi territory.

Sam then asked the "hot" question in the wake of Pakistan President Musharraf's assertion, made Friday on CNN, that he believes Osama has kicked the bucket as a consequence of kidney disease -- is he dead or alive?  Powell said he does not know, but "we seek to bring him to justice" (which seems to imply that Powell believes him alive).

Sam then asked Powell about reports that VP Dick "Dick" Cheney pressed an Indian opposition leader concerning that nation's outstanding debts to Enron.  You've gotta love it: Bionic Dick as Kenny-Boy Lay's "repo man"!  Powell did everything he could to downplay State's role in the affair (a sure sign that someone in State is up to his ears in Enron curry sauce); Sam followed up by asking if Powell had any knowledge as to whether or not the State Department can document their role in the matter.

Wow!  Sam actually had the stones to suggest that someone on Powell's "team" may be tainted by Enrongate!  Powell maintained his cool, but his "I don't recall" answer sounded more like the sort of wording you expect to hear in a deposition than an interview -- sorry, Colin, but you lose points for that!

Following the break, the ever-egregious Beltway biddy Cokie Roberts welcomed Securities & Exchange Commission chair Harvey Pitt, making it a point to mention that Pitt has represented major companies, including accounting firms.  Pitt had made some tough-sounding but ultimately vacuous words on "audit failures" last Thursday.  Cokie said many are already criticizing the SEC initiative as "the fox guarding the henhouse."  Pitt resorted to the old, "We don't have enough manpower to do it all, we have other responsibilities" gambit, saying America needs a system that is "thorough, tough and vigorous."  He actually suggested that shareholders shoulder some of the burden.

You mean the ones who got scammed by Kenny-Boy's memos about the "strength" of Enron share value?  They should shoulder the burden if they are the victim?  The only shareholders who should share the burden are the ones who lined their pockets as Enron collapsed -- but will that happen?  Will Smirky support that? "Not over his dead body!"

Pitt tried to claim that there is "benefit" from the present system, but all but admitted that crooked auditors can take advantage of it.  Cokie mentioned calls by Sen. Byron Dorgan for Pitt and others to recuse themselves from Enrongate investigations. Pitt, in a not-so-subtle political cheap shot, dismissed it as accusations of "guilt by occupation" without addressing the real issue: a serious conflict of interest on Pitt's part.  Pitt yammered on with fully predictable pap about how he is protecting the public, only to hear Cokie slam the notion by presenting the likelihood that Twig will fill SEC chairs with yet more mega-corporate auditors.  Pitt whined about having dropped big-buck clients for a role in public service.

It was a nausea-inducing moment.  Cokie had basically fingered Pitt and his de facto boss, Shrub, as tampering with the SEC jury and all Pitt could do was try to pawn himself off as a put-upon government employee.

Will he support federal regulation?  Pitt said there was regulation -- the question was whether more is needed.

Hmmm... thousands with no retirement money.  Thousands of shareholders bilked.  Money-laundering in offshore banks.  Incestuous relations with a big-time auditor.  Reports today that five BILLION dollars are missing.  And Pitt says the issues surrounding Enron are "troublesome" as Cokie refuses to ask the tough questions.  In typical This Weak style, Cokie gave Pitt a pass over the issue of more regulation.  She didn't even confront him on efforts to sabotage regulation by underfunding investigation and enforcement -- a favorite rdegulation sabotage tactic of the GOP.

Keep in mind that Pitt is the guy who is supposed to keep markets honest and transparent.  It sounded more to us like he wants to protect loopholes and big business, large-scale investors, and crooked employees of crooked businesses, including auditors.

Following the break, George Stephanopoulos interviewed Tom Donahue, head of the US Chamber of Commerce, and the egregious "consumer watchdog" and multi-millionaire investor Ralph Nader.  Donahue praised those wonderful people in the accounting business and claimed there's been no "hysteria" (so there must not be a scandal? please...), then said "we" have to take a careful look at what happened (read: the press had better follow our script), but "move quickly" (read: sweep it quickly under the rug) and maybe pass a law.

Nader, a fake "progressive" who is no favorite of ours, demanded reform, cited conflicts of interest between auditors and banks, and said it's time to "dust off" a decade of investigative journalism that proves corruption.  Nader lit into a pattern of Arthur Andersen having shredded documents in other cases, and even praised Joe Lieberman for his push to investigate other auditing crimes.  he then slammed the speculative nature of controlled 401(k) accounts; Donahue claimed (falsely) that employees are seldom locked into a plan (they're lucky if they have a choice of more than a few, Donahue) and encouraged them to diversify (ha-ha, as if they have that option with 401(k)s).

George made Donahue look like a fool when the matter of Enron not paying taxes came up.  Donahue -- catch this -- said they took LOSSES (as their share value skyrocketed?).  Nader rattled off a litany of crooked moves by Enron.  Donahue lied again, saying Nader was "out to declare" everyone in the company a crook -- which Nader had taken pains NOT to say.  Nader in turn blasted Donahue for avoiding the issues he had just pointed out: tax loopholes, sleazy accounting practices, fraudulent deals -- then blasted the U.S. Chamber of Commerce for being confronted with story after story of fraud and doing nothing.  Donahue again used the word "hysteria" -- as if someone had coached him to do it along the lines of the spun lines Georgie-Boy must use.

The irony is that Donahue was the one with hysteria and fear in his voice.  Donahue's defensive, dishonest demeanor undercut his  "maybe there's a problem that a law or two might fix" assessment of Enrongate.  His appearance was a complete failure.  Republicans wonder why so many Americans don't trust big business.  Donahue provided a credible answer -- they can't lie well under pressure.

Then followed the time-wasting review of the week's news.  Even with John Donovan doing the voice-over, it's a waste of time.  The noteworthy moment -- the unquestioning retelling of George W. Twig having "fainted" after "eating a pretzel" (yeah, sure).

During the round table, Steph poked a little fun at Pitt for having said he's "open" to more regulation.  Cokie suggests that there is "suspicion" on Capitol Hill (no kidding, sweetie).  George Will lied when he said this is a New York business story, knowing full well it's a  Texas/DC/NYC scandal.  And Steph jumped all over Will -- Enron's purchase of political access makes it a political issue.  Cokie brought up off-the-books partnerships; Sam said the big fish got away with megabucks; Will tried to depict the coming hearings as "drama"; Steph said the White House "is open to committees".  Sam then said Hillary "got pilloried" on closed health care planning, yet the press has been SILENT about Cheney's secret energy meetings.

Then Sam played a clip of Karl Rove lying, saying that Democrats are anti-military-strength.  Only Cokie pointed out that Rove was speaking at that most powerful of "Liar's Club" -- no, not the Enron board of directors, but the Republican National Committee.  Sam brought up Kennedy's call to postpone tax cuts, including a short clip; Steph said it makes perfect sense; Sam said Twig's pals call it a tax increase, and, naturally, Will stepped in it ("NATCH-ur-ally it's a TAX INCREASE!").  Cokie said some Dems are angry because they supported Smirk's tax giveaway to the rich.

Talk then focused on the Dems' move toward a shorter primary season; Steph said it would yield more diversity; Will, of course, slammed it (because it's good for the Dems); Cokie said New Hampshire and Iowa will become more influential.

There was some pap about the notorious "fireman raise the flag" statue.  Will parroted the ditto-right "be true to the photograph" line, but Steph said that this was a staged photo and minorities feel like second-class citizens. Cokie said that at the Vietnam Memorial, the wall, not the statue counts; we need a World Trade Center "wall".  Will then plagiarized another bit of right-wing spin, saying that an inclusive statue is the same as Stalinist rewriting of history.

They all missed the point.  It's one thing to make a statue of, say, the Marines raising the flag at Iwo Jima, a hard-fought victory against a global alliance of dictators.  It's quite another to make a statue of three very lucky fireman raising the flag over the scene of what is a de facto victory for criminals and terrorists in a staged photo-op.  That is an insult to every person who lost a family member or friend at the World Trade Center or the Pentagon.  Nearly four hundred firemen, cops and EMS workers died after pretty much succeeding in helping to evacuate both towers, including many severely injured victims of the attack.  It is they, not the photo-op flag wavers, who deserve to be honored.

 -- Dave "Doctor" Gonzo

Meet the Tim
Ol' "War is Hell" Russert gets chummy with Rummy

It looked to be another big, big edition of Meet the Press; big, big pundit Tim Russert welcomed Defense Minister Donald "Rummy "Rumsfeld and, to reinforce just how inportant the "war on terrorism" is to the public relations success of the Carlyle Admi...er, Bush "Admistration", Tim quizzed Rummy about that helicopter crash in Afghanistan.  On the subject of Osama -- and Pakistan President Musharraf's comment that he's dead -- Rummy spoke as if the assumption remains that he's still alive and the strongest possibility is that he's in Afghanistan.  Tim asked how there can be the perception of victory in the war on terrorism without getting Osama, and Rummy tried his best to tut-tut the notion -- citing worldwide crackdowns on terror groups and cells.  Tim then cited an article stating that Pashtuns are balking at Afghan cave hunts (the implication being that they sympathize with the Taliban), and Rummy admitted that a shortage of hands in Afghanistan is a problem that he is seeking to remedy.

Should we have put American troops on the border to stop Osama?  Rummy pointed out (correctly, we feel) that hundreds of thousands crossed the border after America began bombing Afghanistan from the stone age into the stone age, and Pakistan did the best they could.

But it was a set-up -- although one more gentle than Tim would spring on, say, a Democrat!  Tim confronted Rummy with the assertion in the New Yorker that many Al Qaeda and Taliban members managed to slip out of Afghanistan in a Pakistani airlift in November, based on information from intelligence sources.  Rummy essentially no-commented.  Tim then asked about Karl Rove's politicization of the war issue and Democrats' anger -- it is, said Tim, a bipartisan effort.  Should it be used as a political issue?  "Oh, God," said a flustered Rummy -- he's too busy prosecuting a war (translation: "Oh, Tim, how could you ask me that?? Be nice, or I'll limit myself to the FOX News Channel!").

Tim then said that the military Rummy inherited from Clinton is doing a pretty good job.  And Rummy actually agreed -- but then tried to play down the effect Clinton had on tightening up and beefing up military size and quality.  He did imply that there is a need to build up the military -- an indirect and unfair slam of Clinton, as he had actually supported further tweaking, downsizing, and retooling of a smarter, smaller, more prepared Armed Forces.

There was a little back-and-forth on military tribunals.  Rummy defended them.  It seems clear to us, watching this exchange, that Rummy was essentially arguing that military tribunals are suitable for the thugs being held in Guantanemo -- and likely to happen.  Tim turned to the John Walker Lindh case; Rummy said he's receiving great medical care, "being treated humanely", and will be transferred to the Ass-KKKroft "Justice" Department, probably to be tried in that bastion of fairness (snicker), Northern Virginia.

What is the mission of special forces in the Philippines?  Rummy said that US forces are providing training for local forces to track down terrorists, and "a number of people will be taking part in this process" (we'll bet this is only a fraction of the story).  Rummy added that there will be an upcoming "exercise" (translation: Al Qaeda's gonna get another spanking)  Will there be an attempt to rescue hostages from guerillas?  Rummy cagily evaded an answer (translation: see previous).

Then Tim turned to reports about the bugging of the Chinese Air Force one.  Rummy said "I have no knowledge" about six times, six different ways.  Tim gave up, finally asking if it will be a problem.  "I doubt it."

Saudi Arabia is saying that we may have to leave, said Tim.  Rummy dismissed it as a news story "copycatted" by other news organizations, again saying "I have no knowledge....this is a long-standing arrangement."

Tim then bragged about visiting the Chief Doofus earlier in the week, who joked about Rummy's "superstar status."  Naturally, Tim is brown-nosing Smirk and playing press agent by trying to promote a story in the neo-fascist National Review about what a hunky stud Rummy is.

It's stating the obvious that Tim went real easy on Rumsfeld.

Joe Berardino, CEO of Arthur Andersen, was next, stepping into the tiger pit. It's obvious that with half the West Wing tied to Enron, it's crucial to make Arthur Andersen the villain, so we knew there'd be fireworks -- the only question being how badly Tim would try to beat him up.

Tim pressed Berardino on whether or not Arthur Andersen had found anything illegal -- Bernardino said no.  Tim then pressed Bernardino on reports Arthur Andersen had found problems, yet gave Enron's books a "clean bill of health".  Bernardino was on the defensive -- first blaming an "old process", then weasel-wording about individual decisions.  He claimed that Enron did "extraordinarily well" during a period of growth during which stock values skyrocketed -- but Tim fired back vigorously by reading a memo in which company officers were talking about massive fees from Enron to Arthur Andersen as both consultants and auditors.  Tim was building a case that Arthur Andersen had a conflict of interest (which is a key argument GOPers will use to divert attention from the political scandal).  Bernardino said these key employees were "debating" -- and Tim fired back with the point that off-the-books deals were in fact a key issue.  Tim then fast-forwarded to August 2001, and the now-notorious memo from Sharron Watkins to Ken Lay raising red flags about "Enron becom[ing] a risky place to work", citing accounting voodoo -- and employees who could blow the whistle.  Bernardino said that whenever they get a whistleblower letter, they "bring it to the company."

Huh?  It's NOT the fault of shifty auditors that the books look cooked?

Tim then talked about employees who lost nearly everything -- and Berardino, looking nervous and harried, talked about his obligations. This, he said, was an "economic failure" -- again trying to pin the blame on Enron and the "free" markets.  Tim then confronted Bernardino directly on Arthur Andersen being consultants and auditors, and Arthur Andersen spending millions to keep the situation that way.  Bernardino could only fall back on their "duty to their stockholders".

Tim then mentioned the issue of Arthur Andersen already having been caught engaging in bookkeeping chicanery.  Bernardino blamed the Enron economic model -- and Tim blasted him for saying that.

Then came the "coup de crass" -- the shredding of Enron documents by Arthur Andersen beginning the day after the SEC announced it was looking into Enron and continuing after the SEC announced a formal investigation.  Why didn't you stop it? "Our policy stated exactly that."

What a riot!  As if a conflicted company isn't going to turn their back on policy if they're in deep doo-doo!

Tim then brought up Enron's successful avoidance of income tax for 4 out of the last 5 years.  Berardino said Arthur Andersen gave tax advice from time to time -- with Tim responding "But you knew there were cooked books! ... How can you sanction" no taxes.  Berardino said Arthur Andersen did not audit tax returns.

We will bet, though, that they acted as a consultant on tax evasion.

Tim then brought up the Waste Management and Sunbeam debacles -- in which Arthur Andersen had to pay huge fines and settlements.  "Enron. Three strikes. Is it all over for Arthur Andersen?"  Berardino was trying to remain calm, with a lot of talk of "cooperation" and clients who trust their auditing and counsel.  Would Arthur Andersen consider getting out of the consulting business?  Bernardino gave a lofty answer about learning and coming out of a situation better and smarter (must mean "maybe").

The segment was Russert in his very nastiest "attack dog" mode.  He tore Berardino more holes than a roomful of Swiss cheese.  If only he had the guts to do the same to his "good friend" Rummy.

Tim's next guests -- RNC chief lobbyist...er, chairman Marc Racicot and DNC top gun Terry McAuliffe.

Tim challenged Terry to return Enron contributions --  but Terry pointed out that Enron has given nothing to the DNC since he became chair, and he even threw Enron lobbyists out of his office earlier in the year after a heated meeting.  Racicot got asked the same question, but with less "attack" in Tim's voice -- Tim even gently pointed out that Racicot was an Enron lobbyist.  Will this be a political plus for the Dems?  Terry Mac lamented that many Enron employees lost all their money -- then blasted Team Smirk for stonewalling and Ari Fleischer in particular for essentially having lied about Shrubya's Enron ties.  Tim retorted that the contacts have been bipartisan, and he blamed -- catch this -- Democrats for blocking SEC reforms before citing a selective Time report on Democrats helping Enron.  Terry blew off the bloviation, returning to the issue of Fleischer's dishonesty and Team Bush Baby's failure to fully disclose contacts.

Bravo.  This is the way to deal with Tim's incessant flashing of snippets from printed news stories all over the TV screen: make them irrelevant.  We can only hope Daschle and other jellyfish Dems are taking a lot of notes.

Racicot tried to accuse McAuliffe of -- catch this -- manufacturing an issue!  Racicot knows that the GOP itself is vulnerable on Enrongate and is doing his best to hold the line.  McAuliffe said that either Ari is intentionally deceiving America or being lied to.  Racicot, though trying to maintain his cool, was indignant, again accusing McAuliffe of "manufacturing" a scandal.

Hey, Mark -- Terry Mac doesn't need to manufacture a scandal that your buddies have already created!  When are you going to be an honest liar and name Don Evans, Dick Cheney, Paul O'Neill and Wendy Gramm -- just a few of the real manufacturers of YOUR mess?

Tim then slammed Racicot for continuing to engage in lobbying -- and Racicot claimed he had an "obligation" to his clients.  "So no more contact with Federal officials," said Tim -- and Racicot, stupidly, said no, he may contact government officials on behalf of clients, even though it would be a liability.

Tim then forced Racicot to defend Rove's politicization of the war on terrorism.  He tried to flog Smirk's "capacity to lead."

Yeah.  That Pretzel Boy is some leader. 

"Should we roll back the Bush tax cut?"  McAuliffe disagreed -- even saying that Twig has said "over my dead body."

Now this is a shrewd gambit -- Chimp Boy will have his tax cut, and Dems will beat him over the head with it as the economy continues to slow, hanging his tax givebacks to rich, cash-flush people like a millstone around the necks of Smirk, Racicot and every GOP incumbent up for election in 2002.

Why move up the primary schedule?  McAuliffe said it was in response to GOP strategy; he's not happy with it, but he's open to discussing it with the GOP.

What about holding both conventions in New York?  Racicot said it's the sentimental favorite -- and McAuliffe had us laughing when he said it would help if mayor Mike Bloomberg comes back to the Democratic party.

We can tell you this: if the Bogus POTUS keeps nickel-and-diming New York's recovery efforts and undermining efforts to keep the city the global center for banking and trading, Mike'll do just that.

For all the PR of Rummy's appearance and fireworks of the Berardino interview, the Terry-Marc face-off was far and away the highlight of Tim's little extravaganza.  Racicot tried to remain calm and collected, but came across as callow and stiff.  Terry was this Sunday's star.  He may not be the favorite of progressive Democrats, but he's kicking butt, and kicking life back into the Democratic party.  He's savvy about using conservative-dominated television, and he has designs on shaking up the Dems' use of the media.  And it's no secret that he's got the GOP sweating.

-- Dave "Doctor" Gonzo

Relia-bullsh!t Sources
Howie the Ho tosses it around with Salon's Jack Tapper and conservatoid Rich Lowry of the National Review

Enron. Can we get enough?

Speaking for myself, no. I pray that this thing gains such momentum that it rolls like a big wheel and cuts like a big knife. This one might be the one that gets the media smelling blood and going into scandal frenzy. If they finally drop the banal, obsequious crap they've fed us non-stop for months, it won't be a moment too soon.

Howie the Ho posed the first question to "Little Ricky" Lowry. Where does the right get these dweebs? Do they have farms where they raise these guys in windowless rooms and force them to listen to Rush 24/7?

Howie asked Ricky if this was just a concoction of the "scandal hungry" press. Lowry had written in National Review that this wasn't a political scandal, since the Bush cabal is for deregulation, and Enron is opposed -- not much proof to hang a blanket absolution of the entire administration on, but hell, at least he dreamt up SOMEthing. As a sell out "journalist," that's his job.

"Yeah. Well, this will test the theory of whether we can have a political scandal without any real political wrong-doing," Lowry chirped.

Rick must have gotten hit in the head with a wrecking ball recently, as he apparently is suffering severe amnesia. He and those like him have already amply proved that we could have a political scandal WITHOUT any real political wrong-doing. Perhaps after his ears stop ringing, he'll recall that he and the other hounds of hell manufactured scandal out of thin air for years and years. And he not only had no problem with it then, but he was a willing (and well-compensated) participant.

In true conservatoid fashion, he's now out in front doing pre-emptive damage control by feigning righteous indignation that ANYONE would sink so low as to make something like the Enron disaster political. Yet he made so much more out of so much less for years. Now the chickens are coming home to roost. Cry me a river.

Regarding the millions that Enron lavished on politicians, Lowry argues that it had nothing to do with actually wanting anything in exchange (he gets points for sheer nerve) and dismisses it as a "bad investment" on the part of Enron. According to Lowry, the millions upon millions that "Kenny Boy" Lay laid on Smirk, and the fact that the Smirk crew has been the most pro-energy, pro-oil administration ever, is just a funny coincidence. No connection.

Not so, Ricky. They got away with the biggest swindle in history, and the administration knew about it every step of the way.

Howie gave us a little evidence that he's getting a bit excited about this scandal by asking Tapper if he thought reporters should be suspicious when Herr Cheney is refusing to answer any questions about how Enron dictated U.S. energy policy, and the White House won't release any documents related to it -- and when Ari "Dead-eyes" Fleisher stands there acting dumb and refusing to provide ANY information on the issue at all.

Jake Tapper thinks that Enron's participation in energy policy making isn't necessarily a scandal, but he raises the latest revelation that Puppet Master Cheney was acting like a repo man for Enron and trying to put pressure on the government of India to pay up on a debt owed to Enron (maybe he threatened to hook up a carrier to the Karnataka province and tow it away in the middle of the night if they didn't cut a check right away).

And Tapper noted the queer neurotic need of the right to bring up Clinton whenever they're called on ANYTHING. Ari "I Have No Soul" Fleisher tried to make it seem as if the Clinton Administration was at the beck and call of Enron, citing several former Clinton administration members that met with them.

I think this bizarre and truly inexplicable habit is bad enough on it's own, but considering there's been a billion dollar industry created to paint the Clinton administration as the most corrupt and immoral in history, it beggars the imagination that Ari is now holding them up as a shining example that the Bushniks simply emulated.

This is more than a little nuts and completely juvenile. But then again, it's typical.

Kurtz noted the frothing at the mouth by conservative media sources over Whitewater, and the tepid response to this, what is a much larger scandal. Is there an ideological reason behind this?

Could Howard ask any more obvious questions?

Rick Lowry tried to make a distinction between the two by saying that Clinton was "involved" in the Whitewater deal, whereas Bush is not directly involved with the Enron bankruptcy, and it couldn't be proved that Smirk "was involved in, you know, setting up offshore accounts for Enron."

Even Dim Son is smarter than that, you dingo! His handlers are smarter than to let him create any paper trails that would pin him down or to let him be involved in any way. He may or may not have been privy to what was going on, but then again they might not have bothered to interrupt his "Game Boy" time to tell him.

The way it works is that Bush just tells his "boys" to do whatever they need to do, and not bother him about it.

And how would we ever know if he was involved, when millions of documents have been shredded already -- and with Cheney refusing to hand over any documents whatsoever?

Which is worse: Clinton handing over millions of documents to several full-scale investigations relating to his having been soaked by a con man in a two-bit real-estate deal, which after millions of dollars and incredible amounts of manpower didn't result in so much as a parking ticket? OR: someone that is practically installed in office by billionaires that have financed his entire political career, and, when the house of cards crumbles, destroy all evidence and simply refuse to disclose any information?

Sure, Rick. Bush wasn't involved. They made sure that we'd never find out if he was. He's their boy. They're not going to involve him in anything. They don't have to. He doesn't make decisions anyway, why involve him?

Lowry continued to try to spin it away by saying that this was only a case of the government trying to help corporations with business overseas. No problem there, he says.

Corporations are important, Rick says.

But why did Enron give millions to politicians then, Rick?

"They think it gets access. It gets you a nickname. It gets you nice notes."

Yeah, I'd shell out a few hundred thousand for THAT!

Then Rick allowsed, "It does get you into the meeting."

Hmmm... which is it Rick? You argue that these corporations are important to the country. That it's a legitimate function of government to assist them with business overseas. Then why would they have to pay millions to get into meetings? This makes no sense! But hey, we're through the looking glass now folks. Nothing has to make sense anymore.

Howie, to his credit, asked Tapper if there's a double standard going on (again with the "DUH!" questions!), citing a Washington "Moonie" Times reporter who wrote that he wouldn't even dignify the Enron story as a political story until and unless more facts come out -- yet two years ago, the Moonie Times ran a screaming headline: "Media Abuzz with Rumors that Clinton Fathered Boy".

Showing how hard hitting he can be, Kurtz followed this with "So, are we not seeing quite the level of aggressiveness?"

Gee, Howie, ya think? Not quite the level of aggressiveness? As if it's really close, but not quite? And you're asking it as a question? As if it might not be true? Egads, man! Pull yourself together.

Tapper dismissed the Moonie Times as the flaky publication it is. Then Howie got excited and said that Salon had been aggressive (not "almost" aggressive, but plain old aggressive).

Tapper, seeming to be aware of the taboo against daring to step over the line and risk being perceived as unfair to the Bushies, quickly pointed out that his story was not about the Bush Administration, and spouted the old song and dance that his story was a financial story, not a political story. Okay, Jake, we get it. You're really concerned with making it clear that you're not criticizing Bush in any way. After all, Obergruppenführer Rove is no doubt monitoring you to make sure you don't stray too far from the party line ("Vee haf vaaays of dealink mit reporters that do not see the trrruth!")

Tapper's story revealed that an Enron lawyer went around in-house counsel and retained an outside law firm to look into the shell partnerships that Enron used to cook their books (and avoid paying ANY taxes in 4 out of the last 5 years); the law firm said that the shell partnerships were scams and to not use them anymore.

Then they tossed around the dodge that the reason this story isn't being covered that much is that it's just too darn complicated for us simple folk.

In other words, if it's too deep for the cretins in the press corps, then they assume it's too deep for us rubes out here. What a blatant cop-out. It's like a father, let's say, buying some really cool present for his kid that requires some fairly complicated assembly. He tries setting it up, gets bored or can't figure it out (probably because he didn't bother reading the instructions) and the moment it requires a little work or imagination, the moment it becomes less than simple, he throws in the towel and says, "This is a dumb thing, and besides, the kid probably would have hated it anyway."

This also ignores the fact that the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times both published tens of thousands of words delving into the most arcane and mind-bending minutiae of the Whitewater non-scandal. Evidently, that wasn't deemed too complicated to devote almost daily coverage to for over a year.

But I guess this scandal involves such huge amounts of money that we just wouldn't be able to understand it. Yeah. Probably not. I'm sure glad these guys are looking out for us. I'd hate like hell to have to digest thousand-page balance sheets and accounting tables. But HEY! Isn't that what the reporters are supposed to do? Aren't THEY the ones that are supposed to digest the complicated stuff in order to present it to us morons in a fairly easy to comprehend form? Isn't that what they DO?

Guess not. At least not anymore. Or at least if it involves a Republican.

Rich Lowry maintains that the press is lazy, so instead of reporting it as a financial story, as he thinks it should be, they'll go instead for a campaign finance reform angle. He attributes this to this to finance reform being a "pet" issue of the press.

Yeah, but does that make it any less important or crucial? I suggest not.

But Little Richard thinks that the press will treat it as a political scandal because it's easier that way. Instead of having to delve into the complicated financial aspects of the scandal, they'll instead simply look up Enron contributions and take it from there.

Lowry's entire premise, repeated again almost word for word when he appeared on the McLaughlin Group as well this morning, is that Enron money had zero effect on anything, and that ideology rules the day. As evidence, he offers that Enron threw the money around while Clinton was in office and his administration signed the Kyoto treaties because that's a "liberal" issue (I thought it was of concern to every one that lives on earth -- I didn't know it was only the liberals) and they also showered The Little King with dough when he is for de-regulation, both of which affected Enron.

The next segment featured an uplifting story from the media beat: a young (31) female reporter who was alone in the wilderness when she checked out Enron's financial filings and smelled a rat. Much before the Enron collapse, she wrote a piece for Fortune magazine and warned that something was terribly wrong. She faced all kinds of flack to get it published, including Ken Lay himself, who called Fortune's publisher to try to persuade him to spike the story.

This woman really did a great job of working hard to dig into a complicated story and then showed the courage to report what she found, even though there was heavy opposition, including the president of Enron slamming the phone on her while she was interviewing him! So, when every Wall Street analyst was raving about Enron and issuing strong "buy" ratings for the company while their stock was still riding high with no end in sight, Fortune published her story.

The gusty woman is Bethany McLean, and she has a bright future, we think.

McLean was gracious and humble in her short interview, and both Tapper and Lowry immediately said afterwards that she was entirely too modest, and that what she did was truly a great accomplishment.

People like McLean make you think that there is hope yet for journalism, though her piece was roundly ignored when it was originally published.

Lowry praised her for having the courage to go against the herd mentality that seizes the press, doing her homework and getting a story out that went against all conventional wisdom.

Tapper then unloaded, perhaps inspired by this example of a real, live journalist.

He stated bluntly, "Reporters are lazy." Ah yes. Sure it's a negative and not too pleasant truth, but it came as a refreshing breeze to me. The fact that reporters are lazy as hell has been clearly demonstrated for years, and you can see it 24 hours a day if you look.

Tapper then said of McLean, "She's young, for one, she's 31 years old, and, you know, all the more reason why she should be proud of her big scoop. She is very modest. But I mean, it doesn't surprise me. I've only been a journalist for about three or four years now, and I have to say, I don't look around the room and think that these are, like, the most brilliant, aggressive and insightful, creative minds in the world. I mean, there's a lot of hacks in this business."

There you have it loyal readers. Your two key truths of the day:

1: Reporters are lazy.

2: There's a lot of hacks in the journalism business.

As if these statements weren't already good enough, Tapper then exposed Howard Kurtz to be one of the most lazy reporters in the biz.

Howie said incredulously, "But what amazes me is that even when the storm clouds gathered, the CEO Jeff Skilling, the one who hung up on Bethany McLean, he quit. The company restated its earnings to the tune of $600 million. The company declared bankruptcy in December. Even then it wasn't much of a TV story. It was only on some front pages."

Perhaps you can see how idiotic this observation of supposed lax coverage is. If not, Jake Tapper soon made it clear.

TAPPER: Well, Howie, there was another story going on.

HOWIE: The war. [Very good, Howie! Here's a cookie.]

TAPPER: The war and the biggest terrorist attack in the history of the world. [You stupid hack!]

KURTZ: So -- OK. So -- by December, the press can't walk and chew gum at the same time? We can't cover the war and this kind of collapse?

Here's Howie, STILL clinging to his ridiculous observation by whining that the press still could have given this report of a restatement of earnings equal billing with, as Jake hilariously reminded Kurtz, "the biggest terrorist attack in the history of the world,"

Man, my sides hurt after that exchange!

Lowry chimed in that the timing was rather convenient, and dismissed the fact that this story didn't manage to crowd out the war and the September 11th attacks.

Howie, like a hurt child, had to get in one last indignant justification that he wasn't the complete mayonnaise head that he actually is. "I would say it's a huge story, even in a time of war."

Well, you're the expert, Howie. HA!

Then the subject turned to something every man, woman, and child in America is interested in: the news that Talk magazine was folding (no pun intended -- let's just say they're going out of business.)

Who cares? It was a good magazine, and probably could have provided some interesting articles.

Talk was the magazine that ran the interview with "compasssssssssionate conssservative" Monkey Boy by the other conservative boy wonder, Tucker Carlson. This is the interview in which the unelected jerk showed his maturity level in handling life and death decisions by cruelly mocking Karla Fay Tucker. When asked what Tucker had said to him, President Putz affected an exaggerated female voice and said, "Oh pleeeeze don't kill me." This was amusing to him. And worse, he thought the reporter would find it amusing too.

But when all is said and done, not many people will lose sleep because Talk magazine went under.

Then Howie caused himself further embarrassment by doing his lame "Spin Cycle" segment. This is where Kurtz casts himself as some witty and sage commentator and tries to throw in some entertainment value and yuks. It doesn't work.

This week, he did some un-funny thing about the pretzel incident, and concluded it by being shown eating a pretzel when they came back from a clip.

Hang it up, Howard -- it's painful. I've seen Bill Geist. Bill Geist is a funny guy. And you ain't no Bill Giest. I've seen funnier material in a 2nd grade talent show. Go get some tips from Jeannie Moos.

And try doing something besides preparing for your show 5 minutes before air time. Sheesh.

-- Dash Riprock

Dave "Doctor" Gonzo is an award-winning producer and political gadfly.  He has hooked up his computer and cable to his stereo and now watches cable news with his proprietary computer-added "laugh track" in his highly fortified high-rise compound on Manhattan's Upper East Side.

Dash Riprock is a free-lance smart aleck based in Moline, IL Fans and foes are encouraged to contact him at dashriprockapj@hotmail.com because he has no permanent mailing address and lives in a refrigerator box (but a nice one).

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