|
|
|
|
Contact Information for Pundit String-Pullers |
Sunday, November 18, 2001, 3PM EST -- The pundits were beside themselves with Afghan Blitz fever: the Taliban fleeing or being routed or both in city after city, Muhammad Atef (described as the number two senior "aide" to Osama despite the fact that it looks as if Osama's less the mastermind and more the money man) killed in a round of bombing, Afghan tribes uniting to install what may be a semi-stable interim government.
Naturally, they had to tackle that latest attack on civil liberties by George Smirk and John "Magic Christian" Ass-KKKroft: military tribunals as opposed to jury trials to supposedly try what the Shrub Regime calls accused "foreign terrorists" -- while downplaying the fact that American citizens may face these Stalinesque Star Chambers.
Here's what we caught...
This Weak
Diplomat Powell stuck with war portfolio
"Have we won the war?... Where is Osama?... Who will rule Afghanistan?... What is happening to constitutional protections?..."
Well, Cokie Roberts, we have a few more important questions: do the geniuses at ABC News have any interest in fixing the hopelessly mediocre This Weak? Sam Donaldson, about the only member of the This Weak cast capable of acting like a probing political journalist (that is, when he's not obsessing over some Democrat's sex life), was off -- leaving viewers to suffer through the prissy ministrations of Cokie Roberts and the youthful indiscretions of George Stephanopoulos, who was covering for Sam's toupee. If you didn't have a hangover, you'd shortlu feel like you had one -- George Will was also aboard to provide the mandatory neo-Brownshirt perspective.
ABC continually masks their inability to cater to people with long attention spans by intercutting news reports with interviews -- which makes This Week seem like a half-hearted version of CNN without the modicum of journalistic quality they still possess, or the FAUX News Channel without the hunks and leggy co-anchors. John McQuethy first provided a news "catch-up", reporting that an estimated 10,000 Taliban are stuck in one Afghan city and most look to be foreign, and members of the Northern Alliance would like to meet in Europe to discuss the next government for Afghanistan. There was a second lengthy report on Afghanistan, during which we ran to the kitchen for a double espresso.
Please, wake us up! Note to ABC News: we watch these programs for raw political gab. If we wanted the news we'd flip the idiot box over to BBC World or CNN for a thorough report -- or go slumming over at FAUX for a gander of their "fair and balanced" journalist studs and babes.
Finally, after what seemed like two hours, Cokie welcomed Secretary of State Colin Powell, who was grinning ear-to-ear for some reason. He talked about "getting [Osama] out of his hole" -- and what? Killing him? Powell actually held out hope for capturing him and putting him on trial.
Powell said he does not believe Osama has "a bomb", as in working nukes -- but looks to be grasping for parts (huh? what if he has enough nuke waste to make a very dirty truck bomb?).
Is the war won? (Oh, come on -- what kind of question is that, Cokie? Viewers of this show don't live under a rock!) Powell said the objective in the short term is to smash Al Qaeda in Afghanistan, and to destroy them globally in the long term; "[w]e have to be patient, we have to be persistent" (if that ain't the "war on terrorism" mantra of the year, nothing is). Cokie asked if there is a CIA paramilitary force in Afghanistan, knowing full well what Powell would do: neither confirm nor deny (we wish he'd said, "Now, Cokie, you know that I cannot answer that question, so why ask it other than to get the message that there are CIA killers in country out?"). Cokie linked military action to diplomatic moves -- the Afghan president has returned and there are plans for meetings to create a government. Powell gave additional details about UN involvement in a meeting to bring all factions together to form an interim government leading to a stable permanent government; in response to a cue from Cokie, Powell said that international (and American) peacekeepers may be required, giving an example of ground troops "liberating" supplies meant for civilians.
Cokie then made a huge point of Laura "Pickles" Bush having been the first "First Lady" to give the Saturday Presidential address , the subject being women's rights in Afghanistan -- as if this were some sort of great thing. Can you believe the way the press has been playing up this lunacy all weekend? Imagine the way the Clinton-hating press would have reacted if Hillary Clinton had DARED give a Saturday radio address about women's rights. Falwell, Fund and Rush would've been on her like white on rice. And not only was Mrs. Shrub's delivery stiff, sing-songy and eerily Stepford-Wife-Like, Cokie didn't say one damn word about the hypocrisy of ol' Pickles promoting women's rights in a nation where Attorney Reichsmarschall Ass-KKKroft wants to strip women of reproductive and health rights.
Talk shifted to the Middle East. Powell pushed the point that Israel is a democracy, Arafat has to tamp down violence, and it's time to implement the Mitchell plan. Cokie -- in the only example of giving lie to something Team Smirk had said that we've seen in MONTHS -- replied, "But that's the same thing you've been saying" since you took office. Powell bristled. We laughed.
Here's a fact: Powell's still not Mr. Popular among Little George's Hoover Institute thugs, and they love the fact that he has made so little diplomatic headway in the Middle East -- especially über-thug Richard Perle, who reportedly helped sabotage Mid-East peace by getting Ariel "Jackboot" Sharon to visit Jerusalem's Temple Mount, thereby triggering over a year of violence.
Steph interviewed George Friedman, who heads a private intelligence firm. He said that the Taliban's retreat from the city is in fact a tactical retreat. Should Osama be killed or captured? A trial, he said, would give an articulate Osama a platform -- so kill him! What about Iraq? One goal of Al Qaeda is to get the US to attack multiple Islamic countries; what we don't know is how many Al Qaeda cells are operating in the US, but we do know this is an organization that won't put all their eggs in one basket. This is going to be a long fight, he concluded. That wasn't really an answer to the question, but we sure know where Friedman is coming from. We can only wonder how many defense contractors are among his clientele.
The next guest: well, what do you know? It was Richard "Warmonger" Perle, who helped set up the September 11th attacks by getting Sharon to sabotage peace in the Middle East, and James Steinberg, an advisor to Clinton. Perle want to see plenty of war on and destruction of "terrorists" using a "coalition with similar interests" (read: Smirk's pals in the oil business).
A fun moment occurred when Steph asked about what should be done about Osama. Steinberg said he wants to see him put on trial. Perle then LIED when he claimed that Steinberg's team and Clinton's Administration turned down extradition of Osama (goal: blame Clinton for the attacks on Sept. 11); Steinberg bitch-slapped Perle, saying that there was no clear offer by ANYONE to hand over Osama, and it happened at a time when there were no charges (and scant evidence) against Osama. Perle then turned to Saddam Hussein, puffing the Iraqi strongman up as an enemy somehow eager to attack America; Steinberg said we should leverage our Russian friends.
Perle then launched into an illogical and reactionary rant against "rampant internationalism" under Clinton, which he then directly BLAMED for the September 11th attacks.
To our delight, Steinberg punctured Perle's bullshit and made him look like a Troglodyte reactionary without a clue, saying that disengagement weakens America's influence and prestige. This was in fact aa direct swipe at Perle's -- and the Bogus POTUS's -- unilateralist "Smirk-o-lationism", a failed doctrine that was certainly a factor in the September 11 attacks and that they were forced to abandon on that very day.
But Steinberg, who is no dummy and in fact one of the most impressive analysts of foreign policy we've seen all year on Pundit-Vision, should have gone a step further when George asked about the cycle of violence between Israel and Plaestinians -- this was a choice opportunity to outline Perle's role in the "Sharon-Gate" Temple Mount visit, a clear provocation that triggered over a year of violence between Israel and Palestinians at just the time when it seemed that President Clinton's team was about to get a comprehensive peace deal for the region. It's about time SOMEONE exposed Perle as the bloody-handed right-wing thug he is. It was also an opportunity to explain how "Smirk-o-lationism" essentially handed Osama a litany of issues to "defend" in the eyes of hard-line Muslims.
The fact is, it's long overdue for progressives and moderates to put a few chinks in Little George's public relations armor -- and it's time for them to "get in the face" of goons like Perle. Are they really scared that This Weak and other pundit shows would never invited them back? Hell, we think it would be GOOD for This Weak's ratings.
After the break came the topic of military tribunals and Ass-KKKroft's claim that America faces the same challenges that it did at the height of World War II (please -- back then we were facing the largest army in European history). Don Kmiec (we didn't catch who exactly he is) claimed that civilian courts cannot use secret evidence; but conservative pundit Bill Safire and liberal Senator Pat Leahy agree that this shreds the Constitution and civil liberties. ABC News commentator Terry Moran said that military tribunals are a provisional measure and may not even happen on US territory. George Will was also there to prop up the "point" that this is part of the President's war powers (well, gee, George, don't we need a formal declaration of war?) and that our courts are for car thieves and drug dealers (bullshit, George -- they're also for John Gotti, Ed Meese and felon Oliver North -- and THAT is what really bothers you). Cokie is scared that trying Osama in the US will prompt more attacks (well, honey, so will killing him). Will lied and said that "this is not about people in the United States" (Hey, George: ask the families of people who died in New York and the Pentagon as to whether they'd like to see Osama and his henchmen tried).
Will added that Osama would assemble a "dream team" if he were to get a regular court trial. Well, George, we say let him. Bring it on. It would be a trial for the ages. In fact, let's put an Islamic law expert on the prosecution team! Osama would get a fair trial -- and, we predict, the death sentence. Heck, we'd even support a public execution with live pay-per-view coverage, with proceeds to benefit victims of Al Qaeda and their families worldwide.
Will was really scraping for reasons not to give Osama an ol' fashoined trial -- pointing out INACCURATELY that the UK only agreed to the Nuremburg trials after Hitler and Goebbels were dead (because they were pushing to have them deported and tried in England for crimes against the UK, and the strong likelihood is that they would've eventually gone for the Nurmeburg trials even had those two been alive).
After the break, Steph claimed that we've had two wars about which pundits assumed America couldn't win without ground troops (hey, Steph, Saddam is still boss in Iraq -- did we really win?); Moran said that while the Taliban have been ousted from the cities, they can shift into guerilla mode. Steph claimed that there were "moderate Taliban"; Will wants them all "wiped out" (gee -- looks like he and Slobodan have something in common -- "Kill the damn towelheads!"). Steph discussed Friedman's assertion that taking out Osama may trigger more attacks on America. Will retreated into history, talking about the Hitler-Stalin alliance. We nearly fell asleep. Terry and George talked a little about the Smirk-Putin meeting.
We tuned out when Cokie talked about author Jonathan Franzen and the "Oprah's Book Club" flap.
Who cares?
Worse yet, This Weak always gives right-winger Will the final word with no balancing counterview -- and this week, he talked baseball! Jeez -- if we want sports commentary, we seek out Keith Olberman on cable. We want POLITICS and WAR pap, dammit!
And speaking of getting some real punditry rather than pointless history lessons, when is ABC going to give George "Professor Boring" Will his walking papers? Please, ABC -- just sack the simp and get it over with. He's dull, most of the time he spouts irrelevancies, and he remains the single biggest problem with This Week.
-- Morrie Friendly
McLaugh-In
John McLaugh-In proclaimed, "Issue one: a retreat or a rout?" John called it a "retreat" and good news to boot, as city after city in Afghanistan fell to an alliance including -- Lord forbid for the Taliban -- their own Pashtun kinsmen! "The Pentagon is jubilant", he said, but he stressed "this is not a lightning campaign."
John's question for the panel: retreat... or rout?
Michael Barone, who looked a little under the weather, praised the effectiveness of air power, and said "we know the Taliban are hated by the people -- so is Saddam." Eleanor Clift said that the Taliban, with no popular support, will be driven into the hills and civil war will likely ensue; international peacekeepers are needed and our own lousy long-term foreign policy is to blame (you go, girl -- smack that Smirk!). John declared intervention "a quagmire". Tony Blankley, who is still the panel's nattiest dresser, called it a rout that allows us to "go after bin Laden", with the issue how exactly to avoid a civil war between the Pashtuns and the Northern Alliance. Gerald Baker from the Financial Times called it remarkable, bashed nay-sayers, and concluded that he doubts the Taliban have a chance because the people do not support them as they did the Muhajedeen. John debated Gerald on the issue of a stable and pluralistic Afghanistan; to our utter shock (not), shouting ensued . Eleanor said that there is a danger in walking away and not being part of an international peacekeeping force; she added that we're not only in Afghanistan to stop the Taliban but to root out Al Qaeda. John said that after both are done, mission over -- except for humanitarian aid. Mike boosted John's argument by trying to claim that we can be involved diplomatically without being militarily involved. Gerald supports military engagement. John fretted about terrorism.
Well, gee -- if you're so worried about terrorism, then consider that one of the best ways to get intelligence on these thugs is by making sure there is a military presence!
How long will we be there militarily?
Mike: A year.
Eleanor: More than a year.
Tony: Less than a year.
Gerald: Less than a year, but long-term diplomatic commitment.
John and Gerald again debated the broad terrorist issue as tied to Afghanistan's stability.
Issue two: George and Vladimir -- best friends! John cobbled together footage of all the fun'n'laffs from their joint press conference (can you say "bad sitcom"?). Gerald and John talked about the "big deal", tying a drop in warhead count to a missile system, and a possible "backroom deal" to boost the Russian economy by providing some sort of debt abatement, with Gerald saying that there has to be help for Russia and those holding the debt. Eleanor said "this is a relationship based on mutual SELF-interest". Tony thinks that Russia will eventually acquiesce on missile defense. Mike said Russia has supported the war on terrorism since day one, but also tried to devalue "pieces of paper" (i.e. old treaties and agreements). Tony believes that Russia is now committed to the West rather than the East. John: "So China is off the table." Gerald added Japan to the equation. John said that the relations with Russia are not rock-solid, but on the way to being so.
Final predictions!
Mike: The coalition will hold.
Eleanor: Nuke proliferation will worsen after missiles are decommissioned.
Tony: Pakistan's Musharraf will see a coup in the next couple weeks.
Gerald: Economic downturn.
John: Retail numbers will be way up in November.
-- Dave "Doctor" Gonzo
Defeat the Press
"The Hunt. For Osama. Bin Laden.... Is Saddam Hussein. The next target in the war on terrorism.... What fate. Awaits Saudi Arabia...."
Tim Russert's ominous opening words did little to ratchet up the suspense. At least he had a so-so first guest: National Security Bungler Condi Rice (Tim had introduced her as "DOC-tor Condoleezza Rice"). Condi first said that Osama will be stopped (i.e. killed or captured). The Taliban are holed up, she proclaimed; eventually they will be destroyed, she said with a cheery grin on her face. Tim said that the Alliance was negotiating with the Taliban in Kandahar -- will we give them time? After giving a "we're committed to destroying the Taliban infrastructure" boilerplate, Rice said that we would -- then we will "root out Al Qaeda" (about the fifteenth time today we've heard those four words).
Are we disappointed that the Northern Alliance has taken over Kabul? "We're getting good soundings from the Northern Alliance" -- in other words, she and her Hoover Institute for Isolationism and Failed Foreign Policy cronies are worried, and trying to be nice to the Alliance; she then pushed the idea of a "broad-based alliance" after saying that the Taliban were wreaking havoc in their retreat. What role can former Afghan president Rabbani play in the new Afghanistan? Condi again said "all elements must be represented" (except, we assume, the Taliban and Al Qaeda). Tim mentioned that Rabbani supported Saddam in the Gulf War; Condi, actually giggling, called him a "complicated" guy (ha, ha, ha -- Tim gotcha, Condi!). Tim then asked about King Mohammed Zair Shah; what role could he play? Condi again said that "all elements must come together" without us choosing or prejudging (which is, of course, pure horse hockey -- we want a leadership ready to do Big Time oil business -- with US!).
Fun quote from Condi: "I just don't see the words 'moderate' and 'Taliban' going together."
Well, gee, Condi, we don't see the words "credible" and "Bush" going together either.
Condi made sure to emphasize the "facts" that the goal of the campaign is to eliminate terrorists and those who harbor them in Afghanistan, and (in response to Tim's question concerning women in a new Afghan government) America will not choose the next government.
Right, Condi -- the United States doesn't want any say in a government so heavily involved in both the petroleum or opium trade. Y'know, Condi, there's a saying: if it looks like shit, and if it smells like shit...
Tim then turned to Saddam; Condi said we did not need September 11th to know that Saddam is a dangerous guy who wants nukes and weapons of mass destruction. "We have to deal with him on his own terms." Pay heed to her wording "...have to..." -- you can bet that Condi and her gang want Desert Storm II, but this time the stakes are much higher -- including the safety of every American.
Tim then mentioned a meeting between a September 11th hijacker and an Iraqi operative in Prague; Condi kept parroting "Saddam wants weapons of mass destruction." Condi said that Saddam does not recognize Kuwait (well, duuuuh, sweetie -- they were stealing his oil!) and has threatened Saudi Arabia (we're shocked -- or not).
Condi hinted at an announcement that Team Smirk may back a Palestinian State, and very soon -- she said she would like to see a state as part of "a vision" of a peaceful Middle East. Look for that "vision" thing to crop up as part of support for a full-fledged Palestinian state, only because her boss Chimp Boy needs to steal the issue back from Osama -- and quickly.
Condi then slammed the ABM treaty as she "explained" the progress that Smirk and (the much smarter) Putin made in eliminating warheads as part of a comprehensive realignment of the world. Condi claimed that we cannot allow His Fraudulence's successors to be stuck without a missile defense shield (why? your confederates hobbled Clinton's attempt to shield America from the very terrorists who got us on September 11). Tim then quoted Smirk back when he was Guv'ner of Texas, slamming Russia for human rights abuses (c'mon, Tim -- this came from a dumb drunk who made fun of a woman whose death warrant he signed). Condi, naturally, deflected, talking about the warm, cozy relations between America and Russia today.
Tim then busted Condi's chops about cutting budgets that help prevent proliferation before he quoted Bill Safire's critique of military tribunals as "kangaroo courts" and even Wesley Pruden in the neo-Nazi Washington Times -- but only to allow Condi to spin for these authoritarian pseudo-trials as "discretionary" at "appropriate" times as she insisted that "it's time to be realistic" about foreigners who come to America to kill people.
Well, Condi, what about "foreigners" who come to America because they want to be citizens and a vital part of America -- despite the efforts of rich and not-so-rich whites who hate anyone with even a drop of non-Euro blood to put a wall around America? And what about "foreigners" who are in fact innocent and will be prevented from proving it? That's not justice -- that's bigotry turned to fascism. Sound familiar? Like, say, Germany in the early 1930s?
Condi continued by saying that it's part of the President's duty to protect the people. Hey, Condi -- it is his FIRST duty to uphold, defend, and protect the Constitution -- the REAL protection citizens have. Undermining the judicial branch of government with pseudo-dictatorial Executive branch Star Chambers is NOT "protecting" the people.
Tim said that there are those who argue that our judicial system can stand on its own to try terrorists. Condi again called tribunals an "extreme circumstance".
Here's another "extreme circumstance" for Condi -- we know that Gore not only won the popular vote now, but that he won the state of Florida, yet Bush is "president" as the result of a de facto court appointment. This so-called "administration" seems to have a need for "extreme circumstances".
Tim then groveled, saying he loves Condi for saying she loves to go shopping after appearing on Meet the Press. Hey, honey, we hear there's a sale on jackboots at Nine West today! We rushed for our airsickness bag.
Following the break: Tim asked Tom Friedman of the New York Times, "What's going through the minds of the Taliban?"; Friedman said they realize it's basically over. Ahmad Rashid of England's right-leaning Telegraph newspaper has just written that the Taliban underestimated the effect of American bombing -- and had written over a year ago about how Afghan citizens hate the Taliban. Rashid detailed the sentiments of the average Afghan, then made the point of the week: the sense among many inside and out of the Arab world is that Al Qaeda in fact runs the Taliban.
Tim and Rashid discussed foreign influence over Afghanistan, and asserted that Osama has a huge influence now over Mullah Omar, based on Omar's recent rhetoric that reads like a "bin Laden handout." Rashid is convinced that Osama is in southern Afghanistan, and realizes that even caves can no longer hide him.
Friedman said the best America can hope for is a loose confederation of Western-style regional leaders and even warlords, but one just tight enough to fend off other Osamas. Rashid said that there will be a genuine people's movement in Afghanistan -- and warlords would be wise to either step down or change their tune.
Tim then turned to author Bernard Lewis, first quoting a delusional Osama who, a few years back in an interview with Lewis, said he though America and American soldiers weak. Lewis said that Osama and his allies were emboldened by their defeat of the Soviet Army, and deceived themselves over what he depicted as the murder of American soldiers on a mercy mission in Somalia.
Tim then recycled a story he has used before -- a news article detailing the views of kids who attend concerning brainwashing "madrassas" in Pakistan, ostensibly "Islamic" schools but actually hate mills, with the US and Israel the targets of that hate. Tom Friedman said the madrassas fill a void in Pakistan caused by a lack of a public education system, and madrassas are schools that teach anti-modernism; the three elements we need to eliminate in Pakistan and other countries in the region are poverty, authoritarianism, and anti-modernism.
Tim turned to news from Kuwait -- a nation that "should" be friendly to America seems now filled with citizens naming their boys Osama. Rashid said that there was a lack of pressure by the West for Islamic regimes to open up their press and societies, and a lack of introspection by those Muslim regimes which the present struggle may trigger. Rashid also said that there are real questions in Pakistan about past failed regimes -- for example, it is time to deflect foreign aid from military costs to education.
Tim then asked Lewis to amplify his view that Islamic nations need to engage in more introspection -- and seize an opportunity at regional stability which will re-empower them. Lewis said that many regimes had chosen the wrong path to modernization -- authoritarian regimes modeled on Nazism and Soviet-style faux-Communism -- but also that free-market economies had fizzled in a few nations.
Will Middle East nations modernize -- and are moderate Islamic nations ready to take on Saddam? Friedman said that the potential of Muslims is being suppressed by hard-line regimes -- and the people know it. Moreover, America should make more about its having liberated Muslim nations and peoples.
Good grief. We see another Gulf War in the offing.
But we will say this for Russert -- he has picked up the pace, packing more questions into MTP than Tony Snow and company do on FOX News Sunday. He's also laid off Clinton's trousers. If he would rely less on using "press clippings", asking questions that get the same "mantra" and spin point answers, and groveling for Team Smirk, he'd have a half-decent pundit show.
-- Donna Wynner
Morrie Friendly is a retired political consultant. He splits his time between Georgetown and the Virginia 'burbs.
Donna Wynner is an attorney. She lives not far from the George Washington Bridge in beautiful Fort Lee, New Jersey.
Dave "Doctor" Gonzo is a media guru, video producer, and political gadfly who lives in a highly fortified high-rise compound with state-of-the-art media room on Manhattan's Upper East Side. He supports sterilizing most GOP politicians along with first-class mail.
Copyright © 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, American Politics Journal Publications, Inc.
