American Politics Journal

Mitch The Bitch
by Alan Bisbort

Tuesday, March 13, 2001 -- HARTFORD (APJP) -- The Republicans have gotten exactly what they wanted for Christmas -- a right wing corporate-owned police state with all dissension forbidden and all policy disagreements ignored -- but still they are not happy.

Since January, Bush Inc. has lurched from one self-created crisis to another, shamelessly using each as a cover to further push an extremist agenda that most Americans don't share. And, now, they have the ultimate red, white and blue disguise. To offer even tepid opposition to this runaway elephant is to risk being trampled as a traitor.

As Paul Krugman of the New York Times put it, "I'm sure I'll be accused of being unpatriotic for suggesting that the adminstration and its Congressional allies are pandering to special interests at a time like this... But the truth must be spoken... Whatever else may be going on, they make sure that they are taking care of business."

The latest indication of these panderers' pathological discontent comes from Sen. Mitch McConnell, Republican from Cane-tuck-eh. Ole' Mitch, you might recall, was the Johnny One Note who violently opposed the McCain-Feingold-sponsored campaign finance reform legislation. He likened the corporate ownership of all 535 members of Congress, the President, Vice President, Supreme Court, Attorney General and the media to a stellar example of "free speech" in action.

Well, Mitch is still at it, proving he is Corporate America's Most Loyal Bitch. Though his letter to the New York Times on Oct. 30, 2001, went largely unnoticed, it may well have been the most ridiculous utterance by a national figure since the days of J. Danforth Quayle. "I am astonished," writes Big Mac, "that while American special forces are hunting Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan and Congressional and Postal Service employees line up to be tested for anthrax, you continue to obsess about 'campaign donors'...With confidence in government at all-time highs, campaign finance reform is clearly a solution in search of a problem…the president, Congress and the country are focusing on terrorism and the economy."

Not only is McConnell a bona fide windbag -- self-appointedly speaking for "the country" -- his logic is non-existent. Here it is, in a nutshell: Because we are bombing a bunch of fundamentalist lunatics half a world away, we don't need campaign finance reform. Well, hell, Mitch, why don't we just shut down the Congress and the White House, too, and let the real government-- for whom confidence is at "all-time highs" -- do its thing? You see, by "government," we the people mean all those agencies that exist to protect our public health, welfare, environment, borders, etc. We do not mean Congress or the White House.

We the people, in fact, have no confidence whatsoever in Congress or the White House. You're the ones who want to do away with "government" and let the charade in Washington be run by your pals in Enron, Verizon, General Electric and the airlines. That's not government, Mitch; that's corporate totalitarianism.

Never mind that, because of the corrupting influence of campaign donations, airport security legislation has been hijacked, the airlines (indirectly responsible for 6,000 deaths) have been given billions of dollars as a "bailout" and the stimulus package that rode on the bailout's smoldering coattails did nothing but hand more money to the filthy rich few, leaving thousands of Americans in the lurch, including airline employees, to fend for themselves.

Never mind that, even as I write, it looks like the inept, bailed-out airlines industry killed, whether directly or indirectly, another 255 innocent people on Nov. 12.

Never mind that, even before the smoke in Queens has cleared, the White House is saying, "The president continues to believe that people need to travel."

Never mind that the cause of the American Airlines crash on Nov. 12 may have been a design flaw in the plane's General Electric-built engines, one of which apparently fell off the plane. (It may, of course, have been a terrorist bomb, too, but will we ever really know the truth, either way?).

Never mind that, as everyone knows, General Electric owns NBC and has its tentacles in every office in Washington D.C., as well as every conduit of the mainstream media. How convenient to have a terrorist threat serve as a shield for possible corporate malfeasance.

Never mind that President Bush could not find the time to address the nation in person after the Nov. 12 crash, even though Mayor Giuliani was able, between helicopter visits to the crash site, to take time out to reporters. Instead we the people were forced to listen to the Golem-like Ari Fleischer.

Never mind that, since September 11, Verizon, friend of Republican politicians, has been charging New York area customers for telephone service that has yet to be restored. Verizon's friends in the New York State Public Service Commission approved a suspension of rebate requirements for the phone company, without a public notice or hearing. Now, THAT is government we all have confidence in!

Never mind that Enron was President Bush's biggest campaign backer.

Never mind that it has been discovered that Enron might be the most corrupt corporation in America, diguising millions in profits to escape paying taxes.

Never mind that Enron CEO Kenneth Lay is Bush's close pal and was, in the opening days of the Bush Administration, allowed to make policy decisions from within the White House.

Never mind that Enron-inspired decisions manufactured an electricity crisis in California, upon which Enron then made staggering profits.

Never mind that that non-existent "crisis" led to a national energy policy that further rewarded oil and natural gas companies including, yes, Enron.

Never mind that Enron has collapsed under the weight of its own criminal activity, and even Wall Street has turned its back on the Houston corporation.

Never mind that those travel office scandals of Hillary's are beginning to look like innocent larks by comparison to the Bush Crew.

Never mind all that. None of it matters to Mitch, because he is corporate America's Bitch. Squeal like a pig, Mitch, because here come Mr. Lay. And he looks like he could use some of your loving.