Jeffords to DumbYuh, Trent, Federalists: DROP DEAD!
By Dave ''Doctor'' Gonzo

Thursday, May 24, 2001 (APJP) -- Senator James Jeffords (I-VT) single-handedly drove a stake through the heart of the blood-sucking Republican Revolution this morning.

"Killing the Vampire Agenda!" by Gogue

In an impassioned and inspiring announcement, the not-very-telegenic but down-to-earth Senator talked about his pride in being an independent-minded Vermonter and his career as a Republican. He remembered his fellow Republican representatives from the Green Mountain State, and their tradition of tolerance and fiscal responsibility -- a clear swipe at the monster Smirk Tax Giveback Scam and the not-so-secret racism and rigidity of the unctuous Neoconfederate wing of the GOP who do not cotton to politicians that refuse to toe the entire hard-right party line. In fact, he specifically cited his clashes with the present party leadership and their inflexibility since former Texas governor George W. Bush wrested control of the White House from the electorate.

He forecast increasing friction with Smirk on a host of large and small issues: he mentioned reproductive rights, tax cuts, the environment and energy, but particularly education.

Then he made it official: "I will leave the Republican Party and become an Independent." The speech was interrupted by about a minute of applause and the chant "Thank You Jeff!" He then announced that he would caucus with the Democrats. He also acknowledged that some voters and even friends would not be happy with this decision -- but it should "come as not surprise to Vermonters, because we are real independents."

He has informed Mr. Bush and Dick Cheney, "good men with whom I disagree," of his decision, along with many fellow Senators and Vermonters. He said he is confident that he made the the right decision.

Make no mistake -- Cheney and his minions may have rammed a shameless tax giveback through Congress, but the rest of the selfish, people-last, quid-pro-quo Bush Agenda -- and for that matter the Republican Revolution -- is dead. 

And it took an independent-minded, angry Republican to swing the big hammer and kill His Illegitimacy's Nosferatu Plan.

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