American Politics Journal -- Pundit Pap



"The Pundits, Flush With Pride" courtesy the Wizard of Whimsy.

Sunday, May 6, 2001 -- NEW YORK/WASHINGTON (APJP) -- Now here's a story that slipped under the radar: it seems that on Friday, National Insecurity Adviser Condoleezza Rice briefed former President Bill Clinton on souring relations between the U.S. and China -- the second such briefing he has received. Clinton will be meeting with top Chinese officials in Hong Kong next week.

You just have to love it -- after His Fraudulence's team waged a cheap-shot presidential campaign last year that included a "pledge" to put the "grown-ups" back in charge of foreign and defense policy, it looks like a panicked Cheney-Rumsfeld Axis now needs the Big Dog to come in and clean up their puerile unilateralist and schoolhouse gaffes, such as Smirks "anything it takes" comment on defending Taiwan and Don "Dr. Strange-feld" Rumsfeld's backpedaling on a memo from a subordinate that ordered a cutoff of military contacts with China.

We wondered if this development -- or, for that matter, Clinton's visit to Asia -- would garner any attention among the Sabbath gasbags.

Nobody -- but nobody -- carries weekend water for the Cheney-Card Crew like Tony Snow and the FAUX News Sunday gang. So rather than suffering through the "Sam and Cokie Show," we decided to catch FNS this week.

The first priority of the "grown-ups" who occupy the executive branch: spin the blunder over that memo proclaiming suspension of military contacts with China. And when your guest is spin queen and National Security Adolescent Condoleezza Rice, you can maximize your damage control. Rice downplayed the mess as a minor procedural gaffe, asserting that a mucky-muck released a memo without getting Mad Don "I Wanna Cold War!" Rumsfeld's approval -- yet somehow forgot to mention that the news flash of the suspension had created an instant and severe diplomatic firestorm that undermined the entire Dumb-Yuh Defense/State Team's already shaky credibility even more. But she did push the "revised" memo which calls for a "case-by-case" review of military contacts with. She said "many" such contacts were "useful" -- giving a couple very vague examples -- as Tony played the part of the skeptical isolationist "are you SURE we need these contacts?" quizmaster.

Tony also asked about the American EP-3 spy plane presently grounded on Hainan, giving Condi the chance to put the ball in China's court: "It's not business as usual with China, and we have made that clear." Oooooooh! Such toughness!

Tony also gave Condi plenty of leeway to somewhat undo the damage of Smirk's "anything to help defend Taiwan" gaffe; she expounded at vague length in fluent wonk-speak upon "official" policy concerning the Taiwan Relations Act. "Will Taiwan get their subs?" asked Tony (we were never aware that they liked overstuffed long sandwiches), and as Condi talked about alternate suppliers for submarines, not "subs"), we snickered -- because the "get tough with China" executive branch occupants are sending Taiwan old, behind-the-times vessels!

Tony then dissed a "UN Human Rights Commission" that includes Sudan, which gave Rice the chance to slam not only Sudan but the UN and, by implication, anything that undermines American "sovereignty."

Then Rice let fly the most disgusting thing she has ever said: the U.S. has been --catch this -- TOO active on the "human rights agenda."

Condi Rice, you are an even bigger hypocrite than Dick Cheney and his election thief pals. You would sooner see people around the world suffer, and our nation retreat to an isolationist posture, than push to spread American ideals and values such as liberty, equality, freedom of speech and freedom to worship.

There was a lot of back-and-forth on Russia's reaction to Dr. Don Strange-feld's missile defense dream, and Condi went out of her way to say that Russia is NOT an enemy. The hidden message: the Cheney-Card cadre is trying to sell the unproven "missile shield" defense to Vladimir Putin and Rice knows she is likely doomed to failure.

On Middle East peace, Tony made sure we knew that Suha Arafat hates Israelis, and Condi essentially admitted that the current U.S. involvement in the peace process is all talk.

Yessirree -- Rice sure tows the Cheney line. The only thing she forgot was to wear her brown shirt.

The next guest: Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Dow Jones Corp.). Brit Hume asked about the defense memo gaffe, and Dodd -- wuss-boy that he is -- said he was "not going to jump all over the administration" -- which is probably why he was invited to FNS. Hume pushed a snippy point about China holding onto our spy plane and its crew. Dodd said it was "disturbing" but we should "stay engaged" since it has worked for three administrations. "Keep the contacts, that makes the most sense." Tony tried to claim that keeping contact when there are "serious breaches" is wrong. Oh, please, Tony -- so we should cut off relations? There are "serious breaches" between nations every day -- but most have the common sense to stay engaged. And Dodd jumped on the point: "This is neither black or white."

Dodd favors a missile defense -- but not Dr. Strange-feld's. He said we need a non-proliferation missile defense -- a contradiction of terms in and of itself. Dodd talked cooperation. Hume grumbled, "Whuddabout the ABM treaty?" Dodd said it is in America and Russia's "common interest" to honor the treaty. Hume claimed -- quite stupidly -- that one of the "superpowers" (i.e. the former Soviet Union) does not exist. What a moron -- does he think those missiles just vanished? Dodd: "Actions produce counter-reactions, before we drop this" shouldn't we look at other alternatives? Dodd is more worried about a unilateral withdrawal of the ABM treaty than the treaty itself.

Dodd had us cheering with his very last words, an attack on the Federalist Society's attempt to politicize the courts.

Okay -- so we'll admit it -- Dodd's not a complete wimp. C'mon, Chris -- be a PIT BULL!

The next guest was one of our favorite conservatives, Orrin Hatch. He said that a blue slip will "carry substantial weight" but that it would not disqualify a candidate for the court. There was blather about the actual policy, and Hatch complained about Democrats "moaning and groaning," then said that 300 judges were approved on Clinton's watch. Hatch said that Dems "think they're going to take over in 2002."

Orrin was there to push a key "spin point of the week" on behalf of the RNC and Bush Baby's handlers: a claim that that Dems want to use the blue slip as an "absolute veto" -- but the fact is, that is the manner in which the GOP has used blue slips since they took the majority in the Senate. Orrin bolstered the point with the claim that Democrats don't want to consult about Smirk's nominees -- "Clinton didn't consult and I put through his nominees." Yeah, right, you put every one of them through -- NOT!

Then Orrin came out and accused Democrats of "holding out" until Thurmond kicks the bucket. This was an IMPORTANT admission from Orrin -- the first time we've heard a member of the GOP say that Thurmond's health IS an issue, that he's a semi-functional "dead man walking."

Tony and Hume speculated about Orrin being a future Supreme Court nominee. Orrin looked tickled and a little embarrassed as he tried to play down the spin, which ended up being dwelled upon for a few minutes.

The panel lacked the sparks we usually see on FNS. There was the expected spin on missile defense (they love it), but we agreed with Brit Hume on one point -- Jimmy Carter talked down the economy with his talk of lower expectation and slow growth.

There was talk of rolling blackouts -- and Hume called rolling blackouts "conservation." Juan Williams tweaked him, saying "YOU GUYS don't want price caps!" No truer words had been spoken on FNS all week as Juan exposed Brit as one of "you guys" -- the Cheney Administration-Energy Cartel tag team.

Mara Liasson called the UN Human Rights Commission "un-credible" because Libya is on it. And, of course, Brit dissed a few more abusive countries on the list, saying the ejection of the U.S. as one of the commission big boys torpedoes any credibility the committee has.

And Tony's final word dissed the UN for keeping Libya and Sudan in the Human Rights body while "booting the U.S. off the island." He called the UN hypocrites -- but somehow forgets that the U.S. has committed its own share of human rights abuses in the name of sovereignty and hegemony.

Issue one: Tito's Space Odyssey! No, the former Yugoslav strongman has not popped back to life and made the defunct state a space power; John McLaugh-In was talking about the "space tourist" who paid $20 million to Russia to travel to the International Space Station. John talked a bit too much about the "risk" and "hazard" of a non-professional in space, and how stressed out NASA is over Tito.

Is Tito imposing on the mission? Michael Barone said that there is a case to be made for a more expansive space policy -- and it's time to build the program.

Eleanor Clift pointed out that John neglected to mention Tito paying $20 million to Russia, who only have a $14 million per year budget -- and defended the trip. Tony Blankley said that NASA wants to be a monopoly. What a "maroon" -- is there ONE corporation or private consortium that can compete with NASA? John mentioned a slew of civilians who have flown into space. Clarence Page waited patiently as John gave us a history lesson on space exploration, then said Tito would be remembered as a pioneer. Eleanor said that Russia was doing what Willie Sutton did with banks by flying tourists -- "That's where the money is!" Clarence forecast that space travel would be subject to federal regulation. John said that Tito's money may pay for Russian scientists not to sell their services to rogue states.

Issue two: steamroller trifecta! Social Security was the biggest of three issues, the others being tax cuts and education. John claimed wrongly that Social Security is in trouble, and Dumb-Yuh's commission would be headed by Pat Moynihan. Eleanor said that actually privatizing Social Security looks to be unworkable on a logistical level. John called privatizing "reform" and said Moynihan could "shame" Dems into supporting it (did he forget his lithium?) -- Tony said that both sides would try to key into the news cycle and the stock market ALWAYS does well -- that's why privatization is good (liar). Clarence was the bearer of bad news -- people fear privatization in light of what is seen to be a shaky stock market.

"Edumacation," as Smirk would say, was the second element of the trifecta: "No child left behind!" John said that the plan surmounted major hurdles -- but that's not true, and even John had to say the "vouchers" scam is dead, and conservatives are trying to spin the conservative bill as a "Ted Kennedy" bill. Tony said it's great politics; John forecast "deep compromise" and said that educational accountability is great. Mike said that the testing in the current bill is less rigorous than some national tests. John said that the GOP has snatched the education issue from the Dems, and Eleanor essentially agreed.

The deepest tax cut in a generation! One hundred billion dollars in tax relief! Mike loved it and said it would be a retroactive cut; Eleanor said Congress has no idea how they'll make it happen; Tony forecast a dogfight on the hill; Clarence said that there would be a months-long fight. John gave accolades to Smirk for holding an increase in spending at 5%.

Hey -- what about those missing pages in the budget that prove it was NOT BALANCED? Forget something, John -- called deficit spending?

Final GE-friendly prediction: "Will Congress underwrite President Bush's missile shield?"
Michael: "Yes!"
Eleanor: "'Under'-write is the right word! They'll put a little bit of money in but they won't give him the money he needs to make that a reality."
Clarence: Yes, "less than he wants."
Tony: "A little less than he wants but enough to get the project launched."
John: "Clarence and Tony are both right!"

The first guest was Donald "Dr Strange-Feld" Rumsfeld, who's never seen a missile he didn't like!

How much will the "missile shield" cost? Rumsfeld said there's no way to know -- and gave a rambling, confusing answer on what would and would not go forward. Tim said that it would cost hundreds of billions to defend against Chinese missiles or ships firing cruise missiles. Rumsfeld fear-mongered about rogue states trading missile technologies -- odd that he doesn't mention how much cheaper, say, a suitcase bomb would be to build and deploy. Rumsfeld: "It's time to move past the Cold War [and] Mutually Assured Destruction."

Gosh, what optimistic platitudes. So why foist an UNPROVEN technology that may tempt our enemies to take massive action?

Rumsfeld turned to the ABM treaty, pushing the notion of a "new construct, a new framework, a new arrangement" -- the big spin sound-bite the Cheney-Card Administration is putting on killing the ABM treaty and inflaming Russia.

Tim said that if China, which has 20 or so warheads, may build as many as 800 if we go ahead with a missile shield. All Rumsfeld could do was say that the words "missile shield" were unfortunate and China is making more weapons.

Ha, ha, ha -- so it's "unfortunate" that Rumsfeld HIMSELF and his Reagan-era cronies pushed that very notion and term nearly twenty years ago -- a mythical "impenetrable missile shield" that never was -- or could be! Such a shame! We almost wished "Strange-feld" had shown up for Defeat the Press in the requisite Peter Sellers-style wheelchair and blinders by this point.

Is Russia an ally of ours? Rumsfeld practically shouted "NO!", although he said that they are not our enemy. Is China our enemy? "No," they are an important nation but a "Communist dictatorship."

Ha, ha, ha -- yeah, with military cadres that out-capitalist American businessmen! They've traded the Little Red Book for The Economist and Harvard Business Review, Strange-feld!

Tim needled Rumsfeld about the spy plane, still stuck on Hainan and unflyable, as Tim called the situation "humiliating." Rumsfeld denied it. Tim implied that the spy flights along China had stopped because we are afraid. Rumsfeld denied it. Tim then said Clinton has told some people that he had been "encouraged" to go to Hong Kong by Team Cheney. Rumsfeld pleaded ignorance.

Then Tim switched from short jabs to a classic, low-blow attack, using an LA Times piece about the debacle over suspension of military contacts with China -- including a comment by John Warner that essentially confirmed that Rumsfeld wanted to cut them all off. Rumsfeld, looking irritated at Tim, said that Warner had "clarified" his remark.

What a riot -- Rumsfeld's lieutenant issued the memo, and Rumsfeld pulled a classic Smirk Administration "instant back-off" a few hours later.

Tim had launched an attack approaching the level of nastiness he had regularly used against members of the Clinton Administration. He stepped up the smackdown, quoting a Weakly Standard opinion piece that needled the Smirk team "grown-ups" for screwing up like immature kids! Rumsfeld was now noticeably uncomfortable, and entirely on the defensive. Tim next mentioned Little George's "whatever it takes" blunder over "defending" Taiwan. Rumsfeld sounded indignant and emphatic in his denial that Bush "might have" implied possible use of nuclear weapons to defend Taiwan.

Tim then brought up the little-discussed news from Iraq -- Saddam Hussein has been stepping up attacks on American military aircraft, even putting up a bounty on American pilots. Rumsfeld said Saddam is "trying " to become a factor in the Middle East.

"Trying?" You moron -- have you been reading any newspapers lately? HE ALREADY IS! Saddam is wildly popular among Arabs for what they see as courageously and doggedly standing up to America (read: the Bushes). Rumsfeld talked the usual spin: Saddam's dictatorial rule and self-aggrandizement (not that these are not true, and not that Rumsfeld understates Saddam's ruthlessness) -- but as justification for what sounded like his own desire to "take out" wily ol' Saddam.

Tim then quizzed Rumsfeld about the UN having booted the U.S. off the Commission of Human Rights -- are we being punished by the world community for our attitude on missiles, pollution and AIDS. Rumsfeld first brought up Sudan's presence on the Commission -- sound familiar?

Here's the kicker -- if you listen to liars-by-implication like Rumsfeld, you'd think Sudan was one of the trilateral leaders of the Commission. They are NOT. They are mere rank-and-file on the commission -- and the U.S. is out the door.

Next up: Sen. John Kerry (D-MA). He said that he hopes that the issue of missile defense will not divide into a GOP-Dem fight (not true; he's playing the partisan diplomat part), and "we have to keep the nation strong" -- but what keeps the world safer? Kerry emphasized international cooperation on missile defense. Kerry also slammed the possibility that the U.S. may unilaterally abrogate the ABM Treaty. How much did he think it would cost, asked Tim? Kerry talked about the failed tests and the danger of moving weapons into space -- which would threaten satellite communications. Taiwan and China, Kerry said, are "heated up" -- also, the current occupants of the White House have moved away from the Kyoto Protocols, nations are now suspicious of us, and we got kicked of the UN Commission on Human Rights where we HAD the bully pulpit to condemn China even other nations on the commission. Tim tried -- but sounded a bit disingenuous -- to imply that Kerry is weak on defense, but Kerry kept underlining the international implications of a unilateral move turning defense into de facto offense. The result: a new arms race.

There was a short exchange about former senator Bob Kerrey and his recent revelation concerning one horror-filled night in Vietnam. Tim played the sound from a Meet the Press episode in 1971 in which a much younger John Kerry said that there had been atrocities and "genocide" in Vietnam that should be put on trial. Today, Kerry said he backs off his "genocide" charge and as a Vietnam vet, he feels that the vast majority of his fellow vets served with distinction and honor -- it was the government of the U.S. that ran an assassination program in Vietnam and there is not excusing shooting kids and women in cold blood. There were indeed things done in Vietnam that violated the rules of war, but today, it is time to put aside the words of young anger, admit our mistakes, and seek reconciliation among ourselves and with the world. He tied the issue to the "missile shield" -- the lesson of the Cold War, he said, is that you do not make the world safer by unilaterally changing the equation.

Tim started the roundtable by plugging a new book by one of our favorite elder pundits, Daniel Schorr, on his years as a broadcast journalist.

There were a few fun moments during the short roundtable segment. Tim turned to Bill Kristol and the "Grown-ups are making a mess" article. Bill even said in the editorial that the current stooges may want to write a letter of apology to Maddy Albright and Sandy Berger for implying they weren't adults while Rumsfeld, Rice and the gang of cretins screw up "Big Time" -- a comment that even scores points with the liberal-leaning APJ team! Kristol said America has to stand up to China.

But points off for Kristol's later saying that Reagan won the Cold War -- good grief, the Great Napper's "genius" handlers didn't even know about the end from within of the Warsaw Pact, not to mention the coming Gorbachev-Yeltsin revolution that ended the Soviet Union. Reagan nearly lost the Cold War with his bellicose policies.

And toward the end of the segment, the erudite Schorr said that in adopting a unilateralist approach to defense policy, the present administration is "going backwards to... Fortress America, and I think it's a dangerous policy."

Bravo, Daniel -- it's too bad you're in exile on PBS. If we owned NBC, we'd give you Russert's job.

Guest one: Richard Gephardt (D-No Eyebrows), who when introduced was sitting kind of sideways, grinning into the camera with this goofy, moonbeam look on his face, looking for all the world like Eddie Murphy doing Buckwheat. I almost expected him to say “OTAY!” after Wolf got done introducing him.

The Missile Defense mass fantasy came up first. Gephardt, like other lily-livered Dems, agreed it was a sound idea, but recommended going slowly and making sure it works. Can’t dare come out and just say it’s a goofy idea that will drain the treasury while destabilizing the entire world, will only defend against a fraction of the nuclear threats against the US, and that’s all IF it works -- which it never has, despite the billions already throw down a rat hole in testing it.

A clip was shown of Tom Delay (R-Bugged Out) spewing his usual rancid lies and actually having the nerve to accuse the Dems of “abandoning the bipartisanship they’d promised”. No further comment needed on that steaming pile of verbal dung.

On “privatizing” social security, Gephardt again took a bold stand, drawing a line in the sand saying, “I don’t reject anything, and I don’t say anything should be decided on.” Wow… Profiles in Courage material! He then continued to question the fact that the Smirk’s commission on this matter is composed solely of people already committed to throwing mungogingdillions of dollars to Wall Street. But what will be done about this by the Dems? Can you say “nothing”? I knew that you could.

Overall, Gephardt's was a typically tepid appearance. Rather than having the necessary claws to fight the Bush juggernaut, most Dems seem as if they’ve sat around biting their nails until they have nothing left.

Next up, one of the two or three most moronic-appearing Republicans (perhaps in history) -- Richard Shelby (R-Parchman Farm). Along with Jeff Sessions (R-Smacked Hard In The Back Of The Head), he appears and sounds rather someone they yanked him off the porch in Deliverance and shipped him to Congress. It seems odd to see these guys in neckties rather than overalls with a single strap.

This boob said he thought that the Wonder Chimp’s tax giveaway to the rich was just fine, because “we shouldn’t pit one group against another” defending the super-wealthy. He just about made me retch with his predictable use of the term “class warfare.”

Wolf then threw it to John Edwards, someone I have high hopes for. This time, though, he dropped the ball -- saying in essence that, sure, the super-rich should have a tax cut too... but... maybe we should do it just a teeny-tiny bit differently, that is, if it’s OK with the George the Lesser administration. After all, we have to give the appearance of at least questioning these things before folding like a $2 suitcase.

To listen to most Dems, you’d think they were outnumbered in the congress 4 to 1! They must think the money train is pulling into the station with Bush, and they all want to be on it. When it’s apparent that the already huge gap between rich and poor is going to be widened beyond belief, they want to make sure they’re on the “right” side.

As to the spy plane, Shelby, the dope, says he thinks it should be flown out, rather than returned in crates. And this guy is the chairman of the Senate “Intelligence” Committee? What kind of macho posturing is this anyway? He must think walking off the field with a compound fracture is preferable to being taken off on a stretcher! Idiocy. It’s a little late to try to recover any honor out of that debacle... DICK.

Next up was Paul Wolfowitz, Deputy Secretary of Defense. But before he came on, they showed a clip of Reagan calling for Star Wars (the antimissile program, not the George Lucas flick) in the first place, causing me to throw a flower pot through the TV, so I’m afraid my report ends here.

American Politics Journal welcomes Dash Riprock to the Pundit Pap team. Dash is a freelance smart-aleck based in Moline, IL. He is always surprised to find his views shared by others.

THE UNDERTAKER, HUNT, AND SHIELDS (This week, Huntless)
When Media Handlers go wrong… a case study

Iowa Hogmeister Chuck Grassley (R-Dirtclod) was the guest today. They tout him as a hog farmer despite the fact that he's been a politician continuously since the age of 25.

This gives me a chance to trot out this riddle:
Q: What's the difference between a hog and a hog farmer?
A: A hog doesn't have to get drunk before having sex with a hog.

Now that that's out of the way, let's review what went on. Grassley represents my neighboring state of Iowa. He's been an almost invisible presence for the majority of these years and hasn't caused much damage. But late in the attempted coup against Clinton, he suddenly popped up all over the place, as if he'd just discovered the media and was addicted. He'd laid low until it seemed safe and then came late in the game out swinging wildly against Clinton.

Now he's even more ubiquitous and it's painful to see him struggle to do exactly what his media advisors tell him to do. They softened up and modernized his look. And they spiffed up his wardrobe. But it's so glaringly obvious that he's trying to remember to hit all his marks, it's pitiful.

After he'd finish an answer, he'd rise up as if his upper body was fused together, holding his hands clasped rigidly in front of him, and turn slightly towards the next questioner, then lower himself to the table again. And when they did the lead out to commercial with the teaser that they'd be back with him, Grassley gamely found the camera and fixed his best "senatorial" gaze directly into the camera. I'm surprised that when they returned from the break that they didn't catch him still staring at it.

Novak (a.k.a "The Undertaker") brought up the fact that "taxpayers" contributed a LOT of money to the Wonder Chimp thinking that they would get estate tax relief, so was he going to get it done? As always, Novak was ominous in his implying that his ilk had PAID to get this estate tax repeal and Grassley better damn well deliver! Grassley said that he was going to try to completely repeal the estate taxes, saying that at the least, he'd make sure that small business owners and farmers would get relief, since they "live modestly".

Modestly??? Not the farmers I'VE seen around here! Since all the "family" farms have long ago been eliminated by ADM and others, the only surviving farmers are more like small corporations themselves -- and make VERY good money.

When asked by The Undertaker about whether the tax giveaway would stimulate the economy, he was honest in saying no, but he then started on a line about how this would move money away from DC, so politicians (what's HE?) wouldn't spend it.

He continued to answer, saying that the tax scheme would "create wealth among low income people. (huh?) Then he'd suddenly recalled that he was supposed to show some fire, he started to get really animated and semi-frantic with the pitch of his voice rising higher and higher, a la Orrin Hatch, as he found himself on auto-pilot rambling about how that this tax scheme would benefit lower income people "even if the money's not in the taxpayer's pocket" (!!) because they'd "change their behavior" which will "have a very dramatic impact on the enhancement of the economy down the road" (what the hey? Have the hog lot fumes finally gotten to Chuck?).

So now the Big Lie is evolving to "Even if you don't see a dime, trust us, this enormous tax break for the very wealthiest among us is quietly doing it's job, even while you sleep." At this point, The Undertaker interrupted before he could damage himself any further.

During another break, they showed a graphic asking what Grassley's response to Larry Flynt was upon receiving an unsolicited subscription offer from Hustler. His response is pretty revealing about him on many levels. He sent Flynt a subscription to Christianity Today. Could have just ignored it, but no, he felt that would be really clever.

The Undertaker, as always, sporting wood for his tax giveaways to the rich, gave a deadline to Grassley for tax reform. He's so menacing I'm surprised he didn't add "capiche?" to the end of his "question." The Prince of Darkness pressed Chuck on the Wonder Chimp's rigged social security commission, where all members are big backers of giving gargantuan chunks of the public's money to Wall Street to play with.

Grassley then had another minor seizure about half way into his answer. He pointed to Moynihan as proof it's bi-partisan, but even Novak had to point out that Moynihan is a dyed in the wool Republican on this issue. Grassley was cornered. He fumbled around for a moment, and then you could actually SEE the thought appear "I'm in trouble! What now? What now?! Oh yeah! Bash Clinton!" validating the Republican's enduring mantra, "When you can't defend our policies without appearing either a moron or a vicious liar, bash Clinton." All Bush was doing, Senator Dirtclod explained, was picking up where "Clinton dropped the ball." He'd finally found his comfort zone and rattled off as the amphetamines started to kick in, about town meetings and asserted that the reason Clinton didn't do anything with Social Security because if he had, he couldn't demagogue.

The eminently reasonable Mark Shields got under Chuck's skin and Grassley seemed truly pissed off, in a wimpy sort of way, and even shot Shields a childish "so there!" look as he finished and promptly did his little desk swivel routine.

Smirk-like, Grassley said, "And what's more importantly..." the tax scheme would fix things so "low income people can have wealth, and have an estate, and leave something for their heirs, that presently those low income people can't do."

Any sense of reality there? Anyone? Anyone? Evidently Aaron Sorkin isn't the only one indulging in magic mushrooms these days.

In reply to Shields pointing out that Grassley used to say that defense spending should be cut, and has now done a 180, and asked "Isn't this defense spending increase indefensible?" Grassley said this: "Uh no. And the reason I have to say no, is President Clinton for 6 years cut defense, and even President Clinton in his 7th year in office realized he had done so much, weakened our defense, he came forth with the initiative to increase defense expenditure." Then, obviously peaking out, he continued with this. "Now, it should not be done. It should be a gradual ramp up. I brought this up with the President in March after he made his announcement that he wasn't going to increase defense expenditures now, that he was going to move slowly, and he said to me ‘What do you think we talked about in the cornfields of Iowa when we were traveling around there last January', so I think I got my point across to him." (So THERE!")

His last answers showed a glimmer of sense. When asked about Louis Freeh's leaving the FBI, he didn't get all misty eyed and revere him like other Neanderthals do. He said that he felt that the next FBI head ought to come from outside the agency. We should all pray, (even atheists, just in case) that the nimrod Keating doesn't get it. This is the guy who, just after the Oklahoma City bombing, when asked how many Federal employees lives had been snuffed out in the tragedy, said it would be hard to tell, since so many Federal employees played hooky all the time.

In my market, this glimpse of lunacy was brought to me by, among others, some mysterious entity called the "Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America" (PhRMA) that has been running this repulsive commercial in heavy rotation. In it, they cynically use a father of a young girl that was diagnosed with leukemia. With plaintive and spare piano chords in the background, they stick a camera so close to his face you can count the pores in his nose, as he tears up while saying "Thank God for these drug companies," vainly trying to express his thanks to several huge multi-national corporations, presumably.

We've now reached the point where propaganda shows are now relieved by propaganda commercials. This was followed by one from "Americans for Balanced Energy Choices" which are obviously a group of VERY excited coal producers pushing to increase burning the dirty energy source. With a happy little quaint banjo ditty playing in the background, what sounds like Mrs. Cleaver does a perky voice over saying in essence, "Heck, most of us don't even know where electricity comes from, we might not know that half of it comes from COAL! And thanks to the benevolent electric utilities spending 50 BILLION dollars on 'clean coal technology,' we can all just relax knowing that, thanks to them, our environment is actually getting cleaner!!" while an all-American boy runs an extension cord out to his tree house.

Well, we did keep an eye out for it -- but not one of the Sunday blabbermouths breathed a word about "Elvis" Clinton getting briefed by Condoleeezzza Rice for his forthcoming "Aloha from Hong Kong" tour.



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