Guest Editorial
Rewarding Campaign Contributors?  First, Do No Harm
"Shrub-Mariner-Gate" in perspective
by Tom Carlson

Feb. 21, 2001 -- New York (APJP) -- Word has finally leaked out -- well over a week after the fact -- that the horde of Republican campaign contributors onboard the submarine USS Greenville actually distracted the sailor responsible for keeping track of any surface vessels in the area.

The Greenville sank a Japanese training boat, killing nine students and sailors aboard the fishing vessel, when the submarine underwent an emergency surfacing practice maneuver with one of the aforementioned Republican campaign contributors at the controls.

This happened mere days after the new occupant of the White House took up residence and decisions were made on how to reward loyalist Republicans.

Sending Republicans out to sea even for "simulated" war maneuvers has turned out to be a dangerous business. Perhaps it's time to freshen up the Lincoln Bedroom, gang!

It's understandable that Republicans might feel guilty about showing supporters the same hospitality offered by former President Bill Clinton to visitors -- but the contributors must realize that keeping our allies is Priority One. It's far better that campaign contributors should be billeted in the Lincoln Bedroom where they can do no harm.

Of course, we'll just have to hope the former Texas governor doesn't leave that briefcase with the nuclear codes lying around unattended... 

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