Sunday, Jan. 21, 2001 -- NEW YORK/WASHINGTON (APJP) -- The Sunday pundits were more self-satisfied than usual, seemingly satisfied with the ascendancy of their "man" George the Lesser to bogus POTUS.

Here's how the lovefest looked:


FAUX New Sunday
Official pundit show of the Cheney-Card Cadre?

"Will Bush lead with his hand -- or his chin?"

The opening of FAUX News Sunday promised plenty of spin -- and even before Tony Snow started winding his top, Jim Angle mentioned the end of one of the most "controversial" presidencies in history and labeled protesters as "anarchists" out to "disrupt" Coronation day.

What a laugh!  "We report -- you decide."  We've decided FAUX News is the press agency for the Bush family.

Guest one -- political dirty trickster Karl Rove, now a senior advisor to The Pretender, who was fed a softball question about education.  Rove said education reform (i.e. giving money to churches) would be priority one, but spent more time talking about Bush's plan to cut taxes across the board -- which we would point out just won't happen once President Greenspan put his foot down.

Rove LIED when he said that Pell Grants were vouchers (they are NOT) as he celebrated privatizing public schools.  Brut Hume said that many were dismissing tax cuts as an economic stimulus, and Rove practically whined for a tax cut, citing the so-called marriage "penalty" and "Death" tax.

Tony dissed "last-minute regulations" signed by Clinton -- will they all be reviewed?  Rove said yes -- in essence, saying that he would put the interests of big businesses against people by trashing Clinton's executive orders.  Tony said that Daschle had cautioned against throwing them out, and Rove LIED yet again when he said that Shrub would "deliberate."

Hume fumed over all of the ceremony surrounding Clinton's departure, questioning it's propriety and taste.  Rove tried to brush aside the issue, but LIED again when he said people were eager for Dumbya to start.  Tony got in a cheap shot, saying that Clinton got away with White House furnishings -- as if Reagan and Bush Daddy didn't do the same!

Talk turned to John McCain.  Rove LIED again, saying that George and McCain have a good relationship -- but did hint at a compromise on campaign finance reform..

Tony then promoted "paycheck protection" -- a plan to strip unions of their political rights.  When talk turned to Alaska, Rove said there is a need for more energy and policy on supply.

What a laugh -- Rove even mentioned California, but somehow forgot to bring up questions surrounding the manipulation of supplies by a number of TEXAS-based companies (including Enron) who are profiting mightily from what looks to be a premeditated "energy crisis."

Guest two: Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle.  he said he has not decided whether or not to vote to name Ashcroft as Attorney general, but did say he was against a filibuster.  It's worth noting that he did NOT say he would stop a filibuster.  Daschle focused of controversial environmental issues -- a hint that Shrub is in for a rough time on environmental issues.  Mara Liasson, who seemed a bit tiffed that Clinton is going to be an activist former president, asked how he'll help Democrats.  Daschle said he's be there.  Mara: "And not Al Gore?"  Spin: "Gore is over."  Daschle: "Gore will be there."  Spin: "He won the popular vote and should have won Florida, you little twit!"

Daschle praised incoming DNC boss Terry McAuliffe -- unfortunately, he praised him as a "uniter."

Puh-leeeeze, Tom -- the word is "unifier."  Calling him a "uniter" -- a word associated with George the Lesser -- is a major "dis."

Brit said that Rove is avoiding the use of the word "vouchers."  Daschle said that charter schools address school choice already -- and states do not like vouchers.

Bravo!  It's about time that Dems start to use the "states' rights" argument to undermine the Cheney-Card Agenda.

Mara mentioned Rove's hint at campaign reform compromise.  Daschle dismissed "paycheck protection," but with the worst argument -- it would be a bureaucratic nightmare.  He should have said he'd support it IF it were tied to an Investor Protection Act that would prevent companies from contributing to candidates without the written consent of stockholders.

Following the break, Tony got one LAST chance to rehash the assault on Clinton by the Office of Scaife-Dependent Counsel.  He played a tape of Kendall saying that Clinton did not lie.  His guest, Robert Ray, said that Clinton put in writing that he gave "false" testimony and the deal between Clinton and the OIC speaks for itself -- but REFUSED to say that Kendall was not telling the truth.  Tony tried to get Ray to say that Clinton intended to lie -- but again, Ray REFUSED.  He said that Clinton had given false testimony.  Tony said Time had reported that the negotiations had gone on for a year, but Ray said that he had taken actions that led to a resolution of the matter, including a grand jury.  Tony said Clinton essentially wanted to bring this to trial -- and Ray said that all matters have been concluded.

Don't count on it.  Clinton knows that he has a strong case against some of the players in both the fraudulent Jones suit and OIC operatives, official and otherwise.

Ray said that he has vindicated the principle that nobody is above the law (right -- he helped keep Clinton below the law), and Tony whined that all the hard work of prosecutors was for naught.   Tony also whether Ray would file a report, and Ray said he would follow his statutory obligations -- in other words expect a last dump.

Tony: "Do you think Clinton's an honorable man?"  Spin: "Clinton's a crook -- please, Bob, SAY IT!  I'm gonna get the shakes going through withdrawal from Clinton Trouser Addiction!"

Tony asked if Ray was glad to be through with this -- and a flash of relief went across Ray's face.  he reiterated his "rule of law" spin -- it's clear Ray does not like Clinton -- but it's worth noting that when there had been talk of David Kendall, Ray sounded less lawyerly and a bit at ease.  It seems pretty clear that Ray and Kendall got on well.

Mega-panel time!  Fred "The Weasel" Barnes said that Shrub would be a "tough" president and slammed Democrats for being non-partisan (translation: taking advantage of Shrub's vulnerabilitie3s). Mort Kondracke gushed over Shrub's religious fervor, and Bill Kristol seemed to make light of Shrub pushing his faith too much.  Hume spun that "Bush got 100% of the presidency" -- a sure sign that Shrub is NOT seen as legitimate.  Mara seemed a bit skeptical about "compassionate conservatism."  Juan Williams said he "liked the rhetoric" coming from Shrub -- in fact, he was gushing about his "inclusiveness" until he touched on John Ashcroft.  Fred slammed Bill Lan Lee in an effort to prop up Ashcroft.  Hume said there were "elements" of Lee's record that led hard-righters "not to believe" him -- then slammed criticism of Ashcroft's bigotry as a "caricature... the national media ought to be ashamed."  Hume LIED as he called Missouri a moderate swing state.

We were beside ourselves with laughter -- these guys are in for YEARS of propping up George the Lesser with their spin and lies.

Tony asked if Ashcroft is capable of enforcing laws he does not agree with.  Mara was for once right in saying there are so many things one can do to support the assertion that one is supporting the law.  Juan put in a good word for Ronnie White, and Fred said that white had gone easy on a "cold-blooded murderer."

Hey, Fred, the guy had an INCOMPETENT lawyer -- and YOU advocate injustice.

Bill Kristol said that Daschle's earlier comments mean that he does not want to see Ted Kennedy as the "voice" of Democrats.  Hume took a few potshots at Clinton for his "loud" departure as a reminder of what "he" put us through.

Right, Hume -- prosperity.  Peace.  Exposing the GOP as sexual hypocrites and racists.

Talk turned to Jesse Jackson -- and Barnes LIED that it's over for Jackson.  Mort disagreed, saying Clinton "got away with it."  Juan dissed Jackson for "counseling" Clinton.

Funny how the names Henry Homewrecker Hyde, Daddy Dan Burton, Newt Poontang-Express Gingrich, Bob Whip-Me Livingston, Charles Cheater Canady, J.C. Compassionate Promiscuity Watts, and all the other sexual hypocrites are NEVER mentioned by FAUX News Sunday -- or any of the OTHER pundit shows.

Tony's final thoughts -- advice to the Cheney-Card Cadre, all obvious.   He suggest they "have fun" -- as if they'll have time, what with handling George the Lesser. 

Eat the Press
Starring the engorged Tim Russert and his panel of liars

The enormous Tim Russert, who has surely gained two pounds for every one that "Flush" Limbaugh has lost in the last three years, introduced yet another "special edition" of Meet the Press.

What is Russert up to? We'll tell you: he keeps thinking every thing he does is special... especially if it is unfair, especially if it is filled with lies, innuendo and propaganda.

So sit back and join us as we watch Timmy closely to see if he openly cheers for DumbBellYuh.

He opened by calling Karl Rove his "friend." He wanted to know what the most

important thing DumbBellYuh said yesterday. "...that he would change the tone," Rove said.

Yes, from sophisticated to Beverly Hillbillies (or Kenne-drunk-port DumbBellYuhbillies, in this case)!

Rove claimed that demonstrators -- for the first time in 35 years -- were there to take advantage of an opportunity -- but that DumbBellYuh realizes that he has a lot of "healing" to do -- and insinuated that the so-called "wound" the Shrub will "heal" was one created by Bill Clinton.

Ha, ha, ha! As if Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, Ken Starr, Katherine Harris and Anton Scalia didn't exist.

Tim moved to Ashcroft (or, as our "answer girl' Donna Wyner refers to him, "Asscraft"). Russert mentioned that Laura DumbBellYuh wants Roe v. Wade to remain the law. Rove said that "President" Bush (snicker) will create a new culture in this nation that will be called "The Culture of Life!"

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You mean the culture of Sperm, don't you, Carl? Only idiots believe that sperm and egg are human beings, no more than they think that eating an egg is really eating a raw chicken -- you moron.

Tim, with a gleam in his eye, asked about tax cuts. Rove said he will not commit to a quicker tax cut, or the "retroactive" tax cut that DumbBellYuh has been spinning lately.

Education reform! Rove said (catch this) that we will not go for "vouchers" -- if, after three years, the school fails to do its job, the fed money gets funneled to Yeshiva (yes, that was his first choice), Catholic schools or other private schools.

Well, why not just fire the teachers and the principals, and send all the kids to Andover, Karl?

Campaign finance reform came up -- of course, we all know that this will not happen -- at least not in a meaningful way.

However, we at APJ don't care. Private sector cash would seep into the system anyway -- even more than does currently -- so why bother to try? McCain and Feingold are acting like children thinking they can make a reform that will stick here -- but they are getting plenty of press exposure.

Timmy claimed that Margaret Carlson's story about DumbBellYuh and Clinton yocking it up about Gore in the Oval Office is true and then asked Rove if it was.

Rove said he was on his way to the National Cathedral for a prayer service.

Right -- praying that the Shrub isn't arrested or indicted! What a joke.

Next up was McCain himself.

"How hard will it be for Bush to govern?" asked Russert. McCain -- the fool --said Americans want to know why we can't get anything down because we are "in partisan gridlock."

Whuddalaffriot -- that's right, McCain, YOUR Party -- the party that spent NINE GODDAMN YEARS sticking your hands down Bill Clinton's trousers while trying to conceal their own bevy of girlfriends, mistresses and call girls. The party that glommed onto EVERY rumor about Bill Clinton, no matter how false. The party that attempted to humiliate the Clinton family into leaving the Office.

Admit it, you lying jerk now trying to come across as a saint: you were part and parcel of the entire NEOFASCIST SMEAR CAMPAIGN that was NOT a figment of Senator Clinton's mind, when she referred to it as a "right wing conspiracy" -- an understatement of the FACT. And you were up to your short-tempered pencilneck in it, pal.

Fat Tim asked something about Trent Lott (R-extra starch) coming to McCain and begging him to wait until May so that the Shrub can have a good five months to get his head together.

Aside from the fact that George the Lesser is still wondering why he's still stupid -- let alone why he's the President -- we see nothing wrong with Lott's thinking. After all, Lott presides over the state of Mississippi, the place in on American soil who has the highest illiteracy rate (78%) which they blame on "stupid niggers" -- as Lott once said to a college classmate one of our writers knows.

McCain is stupid enough to think that to get things right you need to move the crooks out of the process.

However, the truth is that the real crooks are IN WASHINGTON -- and led by one of the biggest crooks of all -- George DumbBellYuh Bush Baby.

Just ask Texas funeral directors how easy it was to buy HIM off. Just ask the "energy" industry along with the oil industry that bought him and CHENEY off. Just ask. If Dumbya, Cheney, and their entire cadre could not be bought, then all the money in the world could not impact them.

But THEY ARE CROOKS and the law must be changed so that TO TAKE ANY MONEY FROM ANYONE is a felony punishable by 25 years in prison. If you wanted to run for office, you have to do it with no money. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha -- wouldn't that be something?

McCain said, "Delay is Death!" We assume he means TOM DeLay -- someone we have seen little of this inaugural weekend.

McCain said he will vote to make "Asscraft" Attorney Reichsgeneral. Need we say more? But what if McCain were President? McCain said he would choose Fred Thompson (R-Hollywood)!

The media room erupted in laughter and catcalls! Thompson is the loser who has to drag a putative pimp around with him all over the country to help him get girls. Tee-hee. He would have been a great Attorney General.

ASIDE: Did anyone see the Janet Reno sketch on Saturday Night Live last night? She was terrific -- as always.

McCain then laughs at Clinton admitting to making "false statements" but claiming he did not 'lie" under oath. He said Clinton "wasted opportunities" in foreign policy! WHAT wasted opportunities? Clinton is the single most respected president among foreign leaders this nation has seen in nearly three decades! MaCain was proving himself a moron this morning.

But watch McCain carefully -- he is stalking the Shrub. Truth is, we would rather have the Shrub to pick on in the White House than a nutcase like McCain and his ex-junkie wife.

Fat Tim just loves himself. He is beside himself with glee because his next pair of loser guests are the fake "odd couple," James "Serpenthead" Carville and his lying wife Mary Matalin.

And Carville, who claimed he was going to do a lot for Clinton, didn't do jack squat. He is all talk and no action -- a blowhard who works for Republican America through their boards of directors. Don't EVER trust a word he writes. Let us tell you that he thinks he is such a big shot that over the past six years he has never returned a phone call to us. He is just too "bitchin" for words.

And as far as the concubine Matalin goes -- well what can we say? Matalin ought to be referee in a Mexican cock pit but is now Special Assistant for Propaganda and Lies to the dumbest so-called "president" in history. She's a liar and a lousy mother who ought to stay home with her kids -- as she preaches non-stop -- instead of partying down with the Cheney-Card Cadre in the Oval Office. She is a hypocrite.

Fat slob Tim then showed a clip of Robert Ray telling him why Ray went for a deal with the White House. Pig Tim egged him on, called Clinton a liar, and claimed that he is still lying. You could practically see the symptoms of "Clinton withdrawal" setting in with Tim -- still obsessing on Big Bill, still unable to control his irrational loathing. We were nearly expecting Tim to get a case of the "shakes." Fat Tim then asked -- hopefully -- whether Ray would have indicted Clinton if he had not signed the agreement.

Ray, whose restraint and perspicacity provided a stark contrast to Tim's blunt idiocy, refused to answer and gave a circuitous description of the deal.

The truth is that Ray could never have proved his case. Remember -- this matter involved a civil lawsuit. Clinton never did lie under oath despite what that cow of judge, Susan Webber "Wrong," said in Arkansas. Does Tim honestly think that Clinton would blurt out everything that he and Lewinsky did to make it easier for Paula Jones to blackmail him with her fraudulent lawsuit? And it's funny that Tim never mentions that her stupid lawyers had no idea of how to examine him.

Snakehead took credit for fighting for the President even though he didn't do a thing but feather his own nest, make millions of dollars, and bank it -- using the President. Carville has about as much credibility as professional wrestling. He is "so glad and so proud" that "WE" did this, he claimed. Well sure he is, because he made a career of it, just like every other opportunist parasite in Washington.

Meanwhile, we at APJ have lost more than a million dollars over the past six years defending the

American Way of Life -- not the Nazi Path to Glory that people like DumbBellYuh, Cheney, Card, Lott, Karen Hughes, Gingrich, DeLay and the rest push down your throats.

ASIDE: We saw a documentary about murderer Ira Einhorn, who killed his girlfriend and hid her in a trunk in his closet the other day.

Guess why we watched it?

Because he defense lawyer was none other that pseudo-moderate Pennsylvania "Bad Boy" prosecutor ARLEN SPECTER! After doing some more investigation, we believe that Specter also helped Einhorn skip bail and leave the country -- where he has remained, free as a bird, now living in France because the Philadelphia Police and SPECTER were "too stupid" to catch him!

Enough said about the liar SPECTER who led, and continues to lead, the charge against the Clintons and the finest person who has ever served as Attorney General of the United States, Janet Reno.

Carville pretend ed that he and Bill will figure out -- together -- what the former President will do now.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha -- what a loser.

Fat Tim tried to pretend that the phony count by the right-wing Palm Beach Post of the 10,000 votes in Miami Dade went PLUS 6 for DumbBellYuh.

This is a lie in the first place. Other counts that were NOT mentioned by the "liberal" press showed Gore gaining votes. But Fat Tim and the losers around him want to believe they didn't back a loser, and will push any spin that says as much.

Matalin went into a tirade -- even though she knows that DumbBellYuh lost. She called any debate concerning the vote count "the politics of personal destruction" -- which she herself engaged in and used to make herself rich by over the past decade.

Matalin said that every negative about John Ashcroft is "a lie." What a joke! She claimed it's being "CREATED" by "professional" protestors to raise money for their causes. She claimed that this is a way for leftists to mobilize for 2002 and 2004.

You betcha. But it won't be Ashcroft that is the lightening rod -- it will be the Shrub himself. He is, and will be exposed as, a criminal, liar, philanderer, drunk, doper and AWOL draft dodger who wouldn't know the truth if it smacked him in the face because he was tutored by the greatest liars of the early 21st century: the Nazi-worshipping, Nazi-financing team of DumbBellYuh.

If you really want to vomit, Russert got all serious and pious at the end of the show and switched cameras to the National Cathedral where the entire crowd of Neofascists -- led by the Shrub -- were pretending to be God-fearin' Christians instead of top-echelon brownshirts this morning as they celebrated Putting a manipulable moron into the White House so they can

use him a puppet to do their evil.

This is the second marionette the GOP has elected President of the United States since 1980.

And that was it for Fat Tim -- whose ratings will now PLUNGE since he doesn't have the Clintons to insult any longer.

Hope he's stocked up on his Prozac -- he'll need it.

The McLaugh-In Group
Issue One: Heal THIS, John! 

Issue one: a UNITER!  a HEALER!  John was shilling for Shrub, although he acknowledged that there was no mandate.

Can consensus be reached? Larry Kudlow said tax cuts would succeed in light of an "economic downturn."  WHAT downturn?  Growth is slower than it was, but there's growth nonetheless.  John said education is the "prime" issue.  Eleanor Clift said drilling in Alaska would happen, but vouchers were killed at the polls, so Shrub will back off -- and that Shrub lacks Reagan's salesmanship skills.  John said that Shrub can succeed by taking the middle ground.  Tony Blankley said that there is pretty much even division in the House and Senate and Dems will turn Congress into a "killing field."  John asked if Shrub will cultivate a team of Democrat Senator "Breaux Weevils" -- and only didn't COMPLETELY dismiss the idea.  Clarence Page said he sees partisan war, but that President Greenspan might just support a tax cut.  Kudlow said the center would move toward Bush.  John screamed about the Clinton "land grab," and Kudlow slammed "bad regulation."  The McLaugh-In Group sounded like the "wise use" cheerleaders.  Only Larry Kudlow thinks that Shrub will get any traction.  John hollered that he's sick and tired of partisanship, but both Clarence and Tony essentially said that both sides are spoiling for partisan war.  Eleanor said that honeymoons don't last -- and John (miracle of miracles) was right when he said it's over already -- look at the Ashcroft dispute!

Issue two: Ass-Croft on the Issues!  Second amendment, abortion, Roe v. Wade, Christianity, Ronnie White.  John said the central issue is that Ashcroft can enforce the law and his religion inspires him to obey the law.  Tony said he made a convincing performance -- as he slammed "hideous" attacks by Kennedy.  Clarence said the argument would have worked IF Ashcroft had accepted a similar argument from Bill Lan Lee -- and Ashcroft "sandbagged" Ronnie White.  John was sort of right when he said Judge White was a GOOD witness FOR Ashcroft.  Kudlow said that Kennedy is going overboard and spun the meme that Democrats are "victimizing" Christians.  Eleanor said Democrats say Ass-Croft is no racist but insensitive to blacks and hiding behind his Christianity.

Issue three: The Jackson Six!  John sensationalized Jesse Jackson's private family crisis, replete with cheap-shot questions.  We tuned out for the entire segment.

Predictions (good grief):
Larry: Shrub will propose an accelerated tax cut, retroactive to January 1.
Eleanor Clift: Bush will open up Pennsylvania Avenue.
Tony: Bill Clinton will personally lead the attack on Bush's tax cuts (he hopes).
Clarence: Jesse Jackson Jr.'s star will rise "now that his father's has declined."
John: Dingell-Norwood managed care improvement legislation will pass with small tweaks.

Face the Nation
Old pros spin Bush

Bob Schieffer began Face the Nation with a news flash -- Sen. Phil Gramm will introduce George the Lesser's tax plan on the Senate floor, cosponsored by turncoat democrat Senator Zell Miller.  Shrub Chief Handler Andy Card said it was news to him -- what a laugh!  Glad to see he's in the loop!  Card called tax cuts a boost to confidence in the economy.

When pressed by Gloria Borger on the issue of educational vouchers, Card would not admit that "vouchers" are negotiable -- but reading between the lines, it looks like they are.  On the matter of Clinton's "flurry" (Schieffer's word) of executive orders, Card said he had instructed all agencies to "take a step back" -- and , when asked by Borger, said that even RU-486 would be reconsidered.

Card characterized Shrub's speech as brief but from the heart -- in other words, empty propagandizing intended to mollify hyper-Christians that "all is well."

Former senior presidential aides and advisors then mixed it up.  Now, CBS does not always get "A" list guests for Face the Nation, but that's not such a bad thing, especially when they get a crew of grizzled top-echelon political pros to talk presidential politics and strategy.

Ron Ziegler (Nixon's press spokesman) counseled the Cheney-Card team to get off to a quick start and praised the "strong, diverse" cabinet.  Hamilton Jordan (Carter advisor), when asked about the "awful" start (Schieffer's word) that Carter got off to, said they tried to get too many things too early, and said Shrub "is off to a good start."  Schieffer pointed out that Clinton is staying in DC and did not leave quietly, and Marlin Fitzwater (Reagan spokesman) said he looked like he was entering the witness protection program -- but has the feeling we'll see a lot of it.  He added that Shrub will be forced to "ignore" him, but seemed somewhat skeptical.  Former Sen. Howard Baker was WAY wrong when he said Shrub has a mandate and is "fully vested with the authority of the office."

Lanny Davis (Clinton counsel) said that the first thing Shrub has to do is stay focused on trying to get limited things done in the first hundred days.  Would pushing vouchers be a mistake?  Yes, said Davis -- it's too controversial; bipartisanship does not fall from the sky, and the issue would also divide his own party.

Schieffer asked Ziegler if an administration can control the news.  This was in the context of Ari Fleischer's approach to spin.  Ziegler said no, and Jordan agreed, pointing out that the current California energy crisis is a good example -- this was not even close to the radar a month ago.  How does a White House Chief of Staff stand between the press and, say, Colin Powell or Donald Rumsfeld?  Baker said that good judgment says that the Chief of Staff should not -- he should be point man for the president.  Schieffer pointed out that Cheney appears to have a real job -- might there be friction between the president and vice-president?  Fitzwater said Cheney has no ambitions to be president (yeah, sure) and Baker agreed (ha, ha, ha).  Schieffer brought up the issue of Cheney trying to be a senator.  Baker pointed to the tradition of the vice president not being a member but the point man.  Davis said that the challenge for Shrub will be building congressional coalitions -- does he go to conservative democrats?  Get moderate Dems and GOPers to cooperate?  Schieffer said that Ford's pardon of Nixon may have cost him the election -- is Ray's deal a gift to Bush?  Ziegler said he does not believe Ford lost because of the pardon.  The rest of the panel pretty much agreed.

Schieffer's final word -- on the practicality of the founding fathers in inventing the "magnificent" system of checks and balances.

This Weak
The last days of "Scam" Donaldson and "Cocky" Boggs Roberts

"On a cold and misty day -- a call for unity." Gag me -- that is how Scam opened the show!

Sam "Scam" Donaldson and Cokie "Cocky" Roberts overwhelmed us with the coverage of the ostentatious and obnoxious Inaugural Balls. "They broke their usual 10:30 to bed rule.... There's some dancin' to be done," said DumbBellYuh as he went up on the stage with some cheesy-looking blonde model. We wondered -- will she join him in the "Oral" Office later?

Cocky welcomed the biggest bore of them all -- illegal Secretary of Education Rod Paige -- another black American who sold out to the GOP and the Shrub.

Paige is a good guy and a fine educator, but unfortunately sounds too much for his own good like Uncle Remus -- but has far better command of the English language than the Shrub ever will. Paige couldn't answer any of Cocky's questions about vouchers. She said Tom Daschle said they are ready to work -- but if Team Dumbya insists on vouchers you have your first problem. Paige thinks America is ready for us to move "fau-wuhd" on this. "We don' wanna think about it

freezing yet. There's one thing all of us agree on, we want a good education system and that is what we're gonna get."

Great. Let's see.

The entire discussion is stupid. The feds only spend between 5-6% of all money spent on public education anyway. So if they want to push vouchers, DumbBellYuh will have to fund the money. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha -- smaller government, NOT!

Paige was the head of the Houston Schools where his idea of education was ramming the tests and the answers down the throats of poor students so they could memorize the answers and make DumbBellYuh look good. Paige, like the rest of the DumbBellYuh Trash Cabinet, said "We nevuh use the word vouchers -- we use the money to make sure the chil' learns."

Hoo-boy. God, help us.

Paige is the perfect choice. He is affable and he is black -- which makes Democrats loathe to attack him.

Cocky, right on cue, attacked Paige about the fact that only 9% of black Americans voted for DumbBellYuh. In the end, said Paige -- all ethnic groups will understand Shrub, "which is a good and caring person."

"WHICH?" Either our new Secretary of Education doesn't know that the sentence should have been "who is a good and caring person" -- or Bush Baby is a robot or animatronic puppet controlled by Bob Barr and Henry Hyde! That would explain a lot of things -- such as why the IDENTICAL expression on his face could be seen a few weeks back as, one by one, he introduced his appointees. Paige may have slipped and let out the secret!

Next was the whining loser Joe Lieberman, who used to a stoned-out ladies' man, and whose wife has now converted him to an orthodox Jew who had to trudge through the snow along the parade route, to the Capitol because he thinks that his religion said he can't ride in a car on the Sabbath.

Which, by the way, is horsepucky.

Scam wanted to know what Joe thinks about the people who held up the

signs: "HAIL TO THE THIEF!" which we loved. Lieberman did not berate them and defended the "hurt" of the protesters.

He said he will support DumbBellYuh if he "comes to the center." Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha -- as if!

Lieberman said he is back to supporting vouchers, but only for poor kids. During the campaign, he said he would not support any voucher program. Now he said he will as long as this does not use ANY public money for public schools.

Lieberman spent the rest of the interview kissing DumbBellYuh's lazy butt.

Cocky then welcomed on Robert Ray -- who looks like he is trying to feather his nest as well.

Cocky asked the same question about whether Ray would indict Bill if he didn't lie and admit guilt as Tim Russert did. But Cocky questioned Ray in far more detail and, of course, more intelligently than Fat Tim did. But Ray looked like an idiot because he basically said he let Clinton off because who gives a damn whether or not the guy got a hummer or two?

Another truth came out: Clinton signed this document and fashioned it in such a way that his lawyers could not be harmed. Remember Charles Ruff?

The roundtable was next. Scam was surprised to hear that George Will watched the entire thing on television! Of course, who would invite Will to anything?

By the by -- Mac MacArthur was invited not only to the inaugural, but also to a private dinner of maybe 300, and the Boost and Saddles Ball. He declined. When one of our editors asked him why, he said he would have been arrested sometime during that party for insulting DumbBellYuh.

We heard Staph talking about how good DumbBellYuh's speech was, but that it did not reach out. Cocky, worrying about her shrinking bank account, defended DumbBellYuh. She was really kissing butt, trying to be the favorite DumbBellYuh pony in the media.

Staph said that DumbBellYuh's remark about Gore running a great campaign was a "grace note."

Will said he is angry with the protestors and said (between gritted teeth) that DumbBellYuh is the "legitimately elected" President.

Staph said if DumbBellYuh sticks to his right wing policies he will fail. Well, holy Hannah, score one for Staph.

Cocky said that DumbBellYuh will put his ideas out there, let Congress do what it wants, and then take credit for it. Ha, ha, ha, ha -- well, maybe Cocky -- but that is what EVERY President does, and we all learned that in grade school.

Cocky also said she thinks that DumbBellYuh will learn a lot about just how powerful Congress

is. Will said he needs some signing ceremonies and that he will get them early. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha -- this from a pundit who scored LOWER in predictions than a chimp, according to Brill's Content!

Then Will said this unbelievable thing: DumbBellYuh "isn't Reagan, but who could be?" Oh, Lordy! The entire American Politics Journal media room erupted in the biggest laff-fest of the whole weekend. Hey, George -- Shrub IS Reagan! Shrub is an affable, bumbling stick man who spent his entire life romancing women, drinking and who knows what else! He is a clone of Reagan -- except without the Star Quality. That will be his downfall -- along with his antics such as dancing with rock stars as if he were the Texan Boris Yeltsin.

Scam went nuts over Clinton's pardons. He claimed that the Justice Department was up all night because Clinton pardoned so many people -- but Clinton could not pardon Web Hubbell because of other crimes he committed. Staph said that Clinton's pardon of Mark Rich -- a real thief -- was "horrible." Of course, look whose talking. Staph is another kind of criminal -- one who took "blood money" for betraying his boss.

Will then attacked Rev. Jesse Jackson -- then said that the "greatest tragedy of human life in America" is the large number of children being born out of wedlock in the black community.

Will should be removed from his position for this remark. How dare he say that? First of all, Jackson IS paying his child and its mother $135,000.00 a year PLUS for the child's welfare. Second, he loves this child and sees it all the time. Third, what does he mean that black children born out of wedlock are a tragedy? Black families by and large TAKE VERY GOOD CARE of their children. It is white trash like Dan Burton, for example, that turn their backs on their children.

Oh, by the way...

Congratulations to the networks and the cable news stations for NOT covering the nearly one hundred thousand Americans who traveled from all around the nation to PROTEST DumbBellYuh and his family for being the crooks they are!!!! You are really the keeper of the trust for the American People -- NOT!

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ISSN No. 1523-1690