George the Lesser's Message: I'm Diminished Already! 
by Morrie Friendly

Saturday, Jan. 20, 2001-- WASHINGTON, DC (APJP) -- If you missed the little speech that the Bogus POTUS uttered after taking the oath of office, you didn't miss much.

Emperor Dumbya's remarks, oh-so-carefully scripted and massaged by his handlers, came off as a string of recycled boilerplate platitudes, the same non-ideas that typified his coup campaign.  Worse yet, they came across as stultifyingly dull  and entirely uninspiring -- the Big Dog he ain't, nor will he ever be.   

The emphasis was on "character," "civility," "community," and "affirmation."

But there was a little more going on -- and a few observations on the "subliminable" messages that George the Lesser was conveying are in order.

Toward the beginning of his address, George the Lesser said "I thank Gore for a race conducted with spirit and ended in grace."  Translation: "This whole matter of my stealing the Oval Office was a graceful transfer of power based not on the will of the people but the will of Kathleen Harris and five Neofascists on the Supreme Court."

Bush mentioned that America started as a slaveholding people and then became a beacon for freedom -- as if ending slavery in and of itself meant America is some sort of paragon of virtue.

"This is my solemn pledge: I will work to build a singe nation...of opportunity."  Translation: "Those who already have opportunity and wealth are now in charge."

"Today, we affirm a new commitment to live out our nation's promise through civility...America at its best [has] a concern for stability... Civility is.... the choice of community over chaos."  Translation: "Ignore those who question my legitimacy, my intelligence, my past lawlessness, and my backers.  They're uncivil -- downright un-American."

"We will reduce taxes to recover the momentum of the economy."  The one applause line in the entire address translates: "Laffer Curve and Stockmanomics fans, rejoice!  I'll push supply side ideals -- that is, if President Greenspan doesn't get in the way."  

"We will build our defenses beyond challenge."  Translation: "Cut taxes, pork-barrel defense spending -- it's the Eighties again!"

"America at its best is compassionate...Americans in need...are not problems but priorities."  Translation: "It's a priority to say we're compassionate but not play up our problems to show we're hypocrites."

"Church and charity...lend our communities their humanity...[they shall have a place] in our laws."  Translation: "Separation of church and state-- baaad!  Stealth theocracy -- gooood!"

"[I] will advance my convictions with civility."  Translation: "Okay, so I stole the election, have no mandate, and am going to get hammered -- please don't hurt me too much."

"...defend reforms against easy attacks..."  Translation: "My entire cadre of hard-righters is already under attack because they're out of touch with the mainstream of our nation -- and I'm diminished already!"

As the benediction was given by Rev. Caldwell, an impassioned preacher, the sound of sirens could be heard in the not-so-distant background on CNN.

His Illegitimacy is off to a bad start.  Fasten your seatbelts, America -- it's gonna be a rocky ride.