Sunday, September 24, 2000 -- NEW YORK/WASHINGTON (AmpolNS) -- Dick Cheney kept turning up like a bad penny on the Sunday talk shows, trying to make an issue of Clinton's decision to release some of the nation's strategic oil reserve to assure there's enough heating oil this winter.  Cheney, a master business manipulator and oil man himself, must have thought he could shape the "debate" over Clinton's decision.

Yeah, sure -- instead, "Slick" Cheney kept reminding us over and over of the fact that he became an oil business multimillionaire, and wants his pals to be able to despoil environmentally sensitive areas with impunity.

Here's this week's spin, lies and stupidity:

Fox Schmooze Sunday
Tony opens up the GOP's "big Cheney" reserve

Tone welcomed Dick Cheney and immediately brought up Clinton's decision to tap the oil reserve.  Cheney, predictably, called it a bad thing, but then said that nobody wants to see high prices.

Really, Dick?  Not you?  Not Dubya?  What was your role in these high prices?  And why are oil profits so high/  Could it be price gouging?

Cheney said something goofy about pumping oil in Alaska, and Tony said that the "problem" is that the US has a shortage of refineries -- when the actual problem is that big oil wants to bypass pollution laws to make refining cheaper and more damaging to health and the environment.  Cheney said that "regulation" prevents construction of refineries -- a lie.  He also called for drilling in Alaska "in an environment-friendly way...clearly we need to open up [Alaska] and build up our refining capability."

It all sounded like a call for more drilling -- Cheney did say that we should not "lay aside all" environmental considerations.

Just most of them, we can only suppose.

Cheney attacked Gore for what he tried to characterize as a "flip-flop" on releasing oil from the reserve, claiming that it's a political ploy.  Of course, Cheney blithely ignores the changes in teh pricing situation.  Cheney also said that the Clinton Administration is responsible for an oil shortage because of their lack of energy policy -- another lie.  Cheney claimed that an oil crisis risks our prosperity -- yet Cheney and his oil pals have been the ones calling the shots in that industry.  Cheney attacked Gore for saying he was there when the oil reserve began, but Tony pointed out that he was -- when it began getting filled.

Tony turned to the "Molegate" nonscandal and the leak of a Bush debate tape to a Gore official.  Cheney talked about a mole in the CIA (an attack on Clinton's "lax" security?  these breaches began under GOPers!) -- but then said that he did not know when the FBI would be finished investigating.

But Cheney failed to mention that the FBI has NOT yet questioned Karl Rove.

Tony then pointed out that the Bush campaign was "cash-poor" -- had they overspent in August?  Cheney said that the campaign would be wise in their spending.  Ha, ha, ha -- just like they'll be "wise" in their environmentally-friendly drilling in Alaska.  Tony then said that the Bush campaign was cutting expenditures in Illinois.  Cheney said he didn't know about that -- but we can't see how he doesn't know.

Cheney then attacked Gore for "not telling the truth" -- saying that Gore was "telling tales" about Love Story and the Internet.  But Gore never lied about these things, and Cheney knows this -- making him the liar, not Gore.  Cheney then said he was careful not to say Gore lied.  Of course -- better to smear Gore with weasel words!  He said Gore exaggerates -- but that too is a lie in and of itself.

Following the break, Tony continued with Cheney.  Cheney attacked a Gore campaign team member's comment that generals were lining up behind Bush as if the nation were a banana republic -- a comment that was fully justified, as these military idiots are backing "Chicken George," king of AWOL Air Guardsman, over a candidate that actually served in Vietnam.  These generals are breaking their military oaths by playing politics.

Brit Hume, sounding a little grouchy (as usual), asked something about OPEC.  Cheney said that OPEC was not an efficient organization.  Hume "asked" about getting Saudi Arabia to jack up production -- then let Cheney have it for being wrong about production!  Cheney again criticized Bill Richardson and Hazel O'Leary for "making" America "dependent" on foreign oil.  Waht a fool -- as if we weren't dependent under doddering old Ronald Reagan or George Daddy Bush.  Tony sounded skeptical when he asked if Saddam Hussein had an influence on our economy after Cheney implied it.  Do we need to relax environmental regulations to refine oil?  Cheney suggested building offshore refining capacities to destroy the ocean, then said the Clinton Administration's oil policy is a failure (for about the fifth time).

Hume asked about Clinton fundraising.  Cheney attacked coffees "that were fundraisers" and "the Buddhist Temple" (it's worth noting that he didn't add the word fundraiser with respect to that event -- amybe because elected GOP officials were also present at the non-fundraiser).  Cheney tried to claim that Janet Reno was a Clinton lackey.  Yeah, right -- as if she quashed every  independent counsel. Tony then quoted someone having said that Cheney should stand up to the oil industry the way Clinton stood up to the entertainment industry.  Cheney acted outraged about "a comedian making fun of Bush's religion" at a Democrat event and said that the Dems operate under a double standard.

Hey, Dick, where's your outrage about Bush producing The Hitcher?

Tony asked when Cheney would do Oprah, Regis, Leno or Letterman.  Cheney said he hadn't been invited. After today's appearance, we can understand why.

Following the break -- Senator Tom Harkin.  How can big oil be responsible for high prices?  Harkin said that the refineries we have are capable of refining home heating oil -- and gave the lie to Cheney's claim that environmental regulations would have to be evaded.  Harkin then exposed Cheney's claims about oil production and pricing, saying that Alaska drilling is an environmental policy, not energy -- they'd rather drill than nurture alternate energy sources.

Paula "von" Zahn, Fox News's cutest little reactionary, asked Harkin if he could guarantee that the northeast would have enough heating oil!  We were laughing out loud!  "Yeah, Paula, he's the energy czar of New England!"  That's what we love about von Zahn -- she has great legs and is always good for a laugh.  Hume asked what Clinton did a year ago to "prevent" the high price of oil -- and we laughed again!  Gee, Brit, are you against free markets all of a sudden -- or unwilling to ask about Bush's buddies manipulating prices?  Tony was also dismissive of "solar panels" -- but Harkin said that we should be utilizing natural gas.

Paula asked about White House guests -- and said that the Clintons did not give dates for the visits.  "Shouldn't that raise red flags?"  Harkin scoffed at the non-issue.  Paula said that there were "certainly not the number" of White House visits under other presidents.  Reeeeeally, Paula?  Can you prove that?  We didn't think so!

Harkin had fun lighting into the Bush campaign for not doing anything to help old people get needed medicines but for being gung-ho about drilling for oil.

"On the issue of e-mails," Paula tried to make hay of someone referring to the Buddhist temple visit as a "fundraiser."  Harkin pointed out something you'll never hear from the pundits -- lower-level staffers do stupid things that the boss never hears about and make idiotic assertions in memos that have nothing to do with reality..

Tony turned to "Molegate," trying to get Harkin to say something.  Harkin praised Tom Downey for immediately informing the FBI when he got a mysterious package that looked like Bush debate prep materials and then stepping down as Gore debate prep coach.

Panel time started with the FOX electoral map, showing Gore within reach of the presidency.  Tony called it a "rat race" -- then backed off the word "rats!"  We loved it.  Juan Williams liked George W. Bush appearing on Regis Live dressed like Regis.

And so did we -- it was a very clever move.

Tony and his band'o'fascists tried to make Gore look like a liar for his "union lullaby" joke -- now, any fourth grader would tell you that it was an obvious joke, even though Hume tried to tie it to a pattern of "exaggerating wildly."  But Hume was right, though, when he said that reporters were sick of the "Gore doing well and Bush doing badly" story and were looking to bash Gore.  Juan said the oil situation turned out to be the big story -- but has not played out completely.  He attacked Clinton for releasing oil reserves for heating as "pandering" -- but we bet he doesn't have a house to heat in New Hampshire.

There was much boring campaign talk -- until Juan Williams tried to make a lot of Jeb Bush admitting his brother could lost Florida.  Now, the reality is that internal polling numbers have shown that Florida has actually been in play for months -- but you'd never tell from the "liberal" press.

There was a lot of nonsense talk about Clinton's supporters and pals sleeping over at the White House.  Juan Williams was dead wrong when he implied that it "pushes the envelope" of the law, and claimed it would be an issue in the New York senate election.

But it won't.

Tony's final word was yet another attempt to call Gore a liar -- but Tony himself lied when he claimed that Gore was lying about things that (shock!) turn out to be TRUE!  Such an exaggerator, that Tony...

The McLaugh-In Group
Pope John still in exile

Thanks to the Sydney Games, Pope John and his band of screaming pundits were nowhere to be seen on our local NBC affiliate this week.  But here are the panel's big, big predictions for the week -- who would "win" the week?

Michael Barone: Bush 
Eleanor Clift: Gore
Tony Blankley Bush
Clarence Page: Nader
John McLaughlin: Bush

Deface the Nation
Schieffer powers up with Bill Richardson

Guest one: Energy Secretary Bill Richardson.  Schieffer asked Richardson if Gore's request to Clinton to open the oil reserve was a "set-up."  Richardson detailed the current price and supply situation to explain the decision, and added that foreign governments and even Republicans are praising the decision.  Schieffer suggested that it was a gesture, then played tape of a comment by Gore in February saying that releasing oil would not have a big impact.  What's with Schieffer -- is he taking Russert lessons -- or is he giving Richardson ammo to fire back at critics?  Richardson did fire back, detailing the market changes that led to the release of oil.

Gloria Borger asked what would happen in OPEC "retaliates" and cuts production.  Richardson said OPEC and the US have the same goal -- to raise production.  Borger asked what would happen if Saddam Hussein "starts playing games?"  Richardson pointed out that Saddam does not have much leverage.  Will the President release more oil after the election, asked Schieffer?  Richardson was noncommittal, saying the President will make an assessment.

Schieffer turned to Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-kinda slow), who said that we're in a "projected mess," saying we were dependent on foreign oil -- as if we weren't when Saint Ronald was in the Oval Office -- and that Saddam is a factor since he has a capacity to intimidate his neighbors.

And why is that, Chuck?  Because Daddy Bush didn't want to kill a fellow oil man?

Borger asked Hagel why the Clinton Administration released oil, and Hagel gave a rambling answer that said nothing until Borger cut in, saying Hagel called it a major policy mistake.  Hagel's confusing, run-on answers filled time and hardly explained his reasoning.  Richardson responded by going into specifics about how the releases would work and lower prices without depleting the reserve.  Schieffer asked Hagel about programs that would help people pay for heating oil, and Hagel chimed in with the GOP mantra -- that there is not time to refine the oil, which is a lie, because the oil in question has already been refined.  Richardson said that is why the release happened now -- so there would be time to refine and ship heating oil.  Hagel claimed -- wrongly -- that "you're leaving us very vulnerable."  Richardson dismissed the claim, dismissed Saddam's leverage, and said other nations will make up the shortfall.

Following the break came chat about the women's vote.  Schieffer mentioned appearances by Gore and Bush on Oprah and Regis Live.   Andrew Kohut from the Pew Research Center said that women are the volatile factor in the current presidential race, but men were also ambivalent.   Borger said women are moving away from Bush, and Sen. Kay Hutchison said Bush was strong with married women (which ones -- the ones he's done the ol' nasty with??), but was also strong with single women because he wants to "save Social Security."  HUH???  Why are single women gravitating toward Gore?  Rep. Blanche Lincoln said that single women rely more on federal programs, but that now married women are understanding the issues, voting with their head instead of their heart, and moving toward Gore.  Kohut pointed out that women pushed Clinton over the top twice.  Why is Bush having trouble holding on to married women?  Hutchison instead said that the Pew poll showed Bush to be perceived as the stronger leader.

Among who, Kay?  Oil businessmen? Or subliminable voters?

Schieffer asked Lincoln if she thought that having candidates appear on women's shows was demeaning.  Lincoln said that it's not demeaning if the candidates stick to issues and get into details.  Schieffer said that candidates talk about their favorite food, and Hutchison said something about Bush saving Social Security before she started talking about "lifestyle" and the "rounding-out process."  Rounding-out?  Did she mean that Oprah's gaining weight again? Seldom has so little been said about so many voters in so many words -- Hutchison can spew vague gobbledygook with the best of them. 

Defeat the Press
Tim must go

True to form (and no doubt fuming over the Gore campaign's refusal to debate BushBaby on his hate-filled little show), Tim Russert started the morning by stabbing the backs of not only Gore, Bill Clinton and Energy Secretary Bill Richardson (his first guest), but taking BushBrat's side on the issue of home heating oil.

Russert simply sneered his questions. "The 36 million barrels you released are good for only 36 hours! How can you say that this will solve New England's home heating problems?"

Russert is either a moron or a liar -- or both. Yes, the entire United States uses 20 million barrels a day, but Russert is quoting straight from the GOP play book - and he knows it. His logic is that of a Siamese cat. His snide assumption is that (1) that the United States has absolutely NOT ONE DROP of heating oil; (2) that the US would not release more of the strategic reserves, (3) another lie -- that the oil would have to be refined. The strategic oil released is ALREADY refined.

Then Russert brings on Sen. Joe Biden and Pennsylvania Governor Tom Ridge -- the only Republican left in power in that state who is either not under indictment or should be. Biden said that Bush has a big problem, he will not talk about issues now -- he will simply attack Gore and lie about it.

Ridge said that Bill Bradley attacked Gore for the same thing: that Clinton lied to the American people. True, but about oral sex, and Bradley was and is not like Bush, a major Corporation running for the White House. Besides, both Bradley and Bush made the mistake of running against Clinton -- not Gore.

Russert then shocked us and took a swipe at Bush -- showing that Bush gave back $400 million to the federal government rather than spend it on health care for desolate children. Ridge could not answer why! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha -- good old BushBrat, putting children first -- in need.

Russert then quoeed Scott Harshberger -- an alleged Democrat -- criticizing Hillary Clinton because she allowed people to stay at the White House. If you get American Politics Journal's print edition, you would have seen an hilarious "ad" featuring Hillary going up a grand staircase -- the ad was for Hilly-Bill Hotels!

Who cares whether the Clintons use their home to entertain friends who also happen to give them money to defeat scum like Lazio and Bush -- two undeserving brats who think they have the RIGHT to rise to higher office -- or defend themselves against Neo-Nazis like Kenneth Winston Starr?

Russert's next segment featured his "roundtable of losers who agree with me." The entire show was littered with political commercials -- an unethical way to raise money to pay the swinish Russert. But even before the blathering began we were laughing -- who was new to the panel? Phil Donahue, the has-been, used-up, holier-than-thou loser who married "That Girl" for her father's money. Now Phil just lies around supporting fellow multimillionaire Ralph Nader, who is attacking big oil for making profits.

Russert attacked Nader by asking Phil Baby if he supported Nader's relaxation of drug arrest policies and support for gay marriages. Phil pointed out that we now have two million people in prision, most of them kids, for mere possession. Nader feels that the drug problem is a health problem -- not a legal problem.

Russert said that there are 240 people on the ballot running for President. Phil said the cutoff should be whether someone is polling 1% and is on all 50 state ballots.

Of course, the Prince of Darkness -- Bob Novak -- supported the two man debate. The Hunchback of the New York Times and super-Nixon-butt-kisser, Bill Safire, whom we have been trying to oust from the Pulitzer Board, said he wants "two Gladiators in the Ring, not a crowd."

Russert then said his pal Jesse Ventura would not have been elected had he not been able to get into the debates.

Doris "Earns" Goodwin (she screwed President Johnson to get a book deal), whom we wish would retire to the locker room of her favorite baseball team with dimwit George Will, was also on the panel today. Russert must have been forced to scrape the bottom of the PBS barrel. Where was that other sleazeball "historian," Michael Beschloss -- whom we loathe even more than Goodwin?

Phil got so much face time that we thought he was BAAAAAAAAAAAACK doing his sweeter-than-Larry-King afternoon yak show.

Russert talked about Oprah and her candidate forum. Russert showed clips of Bush and Gore on the multi-billionaire's show: Bush saying he needs forgiveness when his "heart turns dark," and Gore saying his favorite place to sleep in is a bed. He showed Bush saying the thing he knows for sure is that there is a God.

Bill Safire started quoting Kipling -- ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. He looked that quote up before coming on, because we could see him reading it from his notes. It was a fit-all quote, but had no meaning here.

Novakula said he does not understand how anyone could be undecided in this race -- but Oprah gave Bush the chance to show he wasn't an idiot.

We agree. Bush did well on the show. But is that what we want for president -- someone who does well yocking it up with Oprah?

Doris pointed out that they both lost their dignity: boxers or briefs, lust in my heart, and so on. Both Gore and Bush did not go over the line, as Doris said, but they could have -- and Bush should have.

Safire can be heard kissing the far wealthier Donahue's ass in the background, shouting "Hear hear!"

Russert was "worried" about bringing religion and God into politics. Yet he does this constantly. Safire said that the criticism of Falwell and Robertson (which he was part of) was justified -- and that Lieberman went too far and he was excessive. Bill Bennett -- the most outrageous Neofascist in America -- criticized Lieberman because he went to Hollywood fundraisers. Novak chimed in that this has not been focused on enough!

You've gotta love it. These loudmouths are telling you that EVERYONE in Hollywood produces violence and X-rated films. Well, the Disney people were at the Gore-Lieberman parties and so were the Muppets. Are they also guilty? Is this now Bennett's new Witch Hunt?

Donahue went on about his grandchildren and the fact they love to look at porno on the Internet. Well, give me a break. A generation ago these freaks were sitting in their parent's basements reading the filthiest porn magazines and watching horrible 8mm sex films. Donahue was doing that. Russert was. Safire was probably armed with a gallon of hand cream. These hypocrites -- filthy-minded opportunists to a man and woman -- should be censored, by getting fired.

This Weak
A Pair of Morons Interview Dick and Rick

Dick Cheney was Cocky's first loser -- the man who never made more than $100,000 a year until 1990 and then somehow amassed a fortune estimate at more than $75 million since.

Could it be that he was the Secretary of Defense under the BushDaddy -- and that his urgings to put our boys in danger to fight for the scumbag Kuwaitis so his new future -- Halliburton - would give him a bigger salary and even more stock options allowing him to purchase their stock for peanuts?

He was a terrible, snide bore as usual -- and we will not this piss-ant further.

Dick Lazio was next; Scam asked the questions. Lazio, who doesn't have any money, wants Hillary to give up her soft-money advertising. This, of course, is all stage-dressing. Lazio knows that Hillary would not sign such a document without the huge compromises she has gotten and thus he PRETENDS that he would -- if she would. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha -- just how stupid does he think New York voters are?

Scam went on about this agreement. Why? He knows damn well that this is a farce staged by the losing Lazio to try and get back on top. It will fail miserably. Scam pointed out that a lot of soft money has been spent on Lazio -- as a matter of fact, Republican candidates are the MEGAMONSTERS on soft money. They invented it -- they have used and abused it under the tutelage of the little creep Newt Gingrich, and now that Democrats have discovered the "loopholes" that the RNC crafted through its agents in Congress, the GOP has the nerve to complain about it.

You have to love the hypocrisy.

Lazio is then shown his out-and-out ASSAULT (by legal definition) on Hillary Clinton at the debate immoderated by Neofascist Tim "Mr. GE" Russert. Russert, by the way, has been censured by the debates commission.

Lazio, sitting with Scam, looks like Boy George without his makeup on -- and sounds like him with his high whiny voice. Lazio told Sam that he is a gentleman, and that the polls which show him at an all time low with women for menacing Hillary Clinton on the stage to sign his stupid agreement ARE LIES! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! He said he hasn't heard that ON THE STREET.

Oh, brother.

Lazio, weasel that he is, is backing the Gore program on oil and not the Bush solution -- which is to carve up the entire country looking for oil so that Cheney can return to Halliburton at an even HIGHER salary.

Lazio also opposes opening the wildlife areas that Bush wants to destroy by allowing his and Cheney's pals to explore and the drill the shit out of it.

Scam brought up people who have slept in the Lincoln Bedroom (where Lincoln never slept or worked) and at Camp David. These were friends of the Clinton's who also gave them money. We guarantee you that Reagan, Ford, Nixon, Carter and every other President had people stay at the White House and were also coincidentally -- or not -- friends of the Clintons.

Lazio carried on about this non-issue and even said he isn't sure that this isn't ILLEGAL! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What a desperado. He's a loser -- he knows it, and he's finished.

The Clintons, to underscore this, are at this very moment in New York City looking for another home as Hillary will have to be in the city very often as the Junior Senator from New York.

Lazio, get lost. You'll be lucky if you get elected as dog catcher in your Long Island burg.

Scam pointed out that Lazio voted not to extend federal funds to women who elect to terminate their pregnancy but are too poor to pay for them. Now Lazio says he is pro-choice, and will not use a litmus test if he got on the Senate Judiciary Committee. We were practically falling out of our seats laughing! Even if by some anti-miracle he were elected, he would never get on that committee except as a comic foil for the Democrat chairing it.

He said he wants the very best candidate on the court. He supports the ban on partial birth abortions. He said that people opposing the ban, NARAL, want to kick the Vatican out of the UN.

We agree -- what the hell is the Pope doing with a seat in the United Nations anyway? And why do we have relations with this so-called "NATION" which is less than a square mile in size and a dictatorship, benevolent though it may be? And an even better question is why do we have Cocky's mother, Lindy Boggs, as the Ambassadorette to the Vatican? Are you kidding? What does she do? Go to Mass three times a day? Confess five times a day? Pray for women who have abortions with the Pope? What is this? Get rid our "Embassy" at the Holy See and get rid of Lindy Boggs as a diplomat -- but let her stay in the Vatican. Let's see if she can rent or buy an apartment within the Vatican. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Then she would see TRUE "redlining."

Next, George Will interviewed Senator Daniel Patrick "Annoynihan," who preaches to Will about the family structure that has fallen apart all around the Western world. What he means, of course, is NONWHITE families. The truth is that this has been going on for centuries. He thinks we can figure it out “by about 2075” - oh my, he is gone, isn't he?

Will then asked the doddering and soon-to-retire senator about the Kennedy Assassination. Annoynihan went on and on about how important he was at that time and how HE told THEM to get OSWALD out of THAT JAIL before someone killed him. GOSH, what a genius!

Annoynihan wonders what people think when 75% of them think that the US government was involved in assassinating Kennedy. What do they think of us now?

He also said that Gerald Ford, the "accidental president," blessed us -- and we agree. We still love Ford. He was the perfect president -- kept his mouth shut.

Will wanted to know if politics can improve the culture, as we liberals believe. Annoynihan said he didn't know if it's doing much of anything now.

Will wants to know whether he thinks the country is better now. Annoynihan went nuts and said that best time in history was at the time of Curmgueheal and Quantimico? Huh?

Well, as we said in the Spring print edition of American Politics Journal, good luck -- and good riddance, Annoynihan. Hillary will make an excellent replacement for you.

The roundtable starts. Cocky showed a commercial about reading and why Clinton is responsible for kids not being able to read. Will said this is nonsense and preposterous. Will added that he thinks the "uniter, not a divider" idea is dead for Bush. Yet Bush is trying to make the AMERICAN VOTER -- THE VERY SMART AMERICAN VOTER -- think that Bush is the Education and Health Care president.

Cocky was playing the sage, bringing up Gore's worry about oil prices. Little Staphylococcus croaked up that Clinton's move on oil is good.

Will said that this will not impact the race. What a moron Will is -- of course it will. Here Gore asked the President (a good move) to release oil reserves and money to make certain that Americans will have enough heating oil and hopefully prompt prices to fall.

The problem is not that there isn't enough oil, but that sleazebuckets like Dick Cheney want it to cost your dinner for the month so that he, Bush and all their friends can party down at the ranch.

They then showed a great ad -- a Lazio ad -- that shows a bunch of year old babies playing on the beach. The tag line: "The one thing all these babies have in common is that they have lived in New York longer than Hillary Clinton." Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Good commercial -- but a desperate one, because polls shows that New York voters consider themselves citizens of the world and are not interested in whether Lazio was raised in New York.

Mega-Catholic Cocky must have lobbied to get the next story on the show: the decision of the British High Court to allow a physician to separate two Siamese twins in order to save the life of one. The weaker is sucking the life out of the stronger one. The issue -- the bloodsucking twin will not live after the two are separated. But who cares -- except the twin that won't make it, who will never know anyway. And what would you do if you knew that the continuation of your miserable life would kill your twin? Well, you would ask to be separated to allow your twin to live a full life.

The parents, two superstitious idiots from Northern England, do not want the twins separated. Scam thinks the Court was right. Of course, so do we. But to tell the truth, we really do not care. Will did not agree. He said that the British Court is murdering the weaker twin. Staphylococcus said you are not choosing one baby over the other. The weaker twin is in essence assaulting the stronger twin. Will was alarmed that this comes in the context of "partial birth abortion." Ha, ha, ha, ha -- he sounded like a nerdy Jerry Falwell when he said, "it is a culture of death!"

Culture of death, indeed -- hopefully with Will's early departure.

And that was it. Talk about ending on a cheerful note.