Sunday, July 2, 2000 -- WASHINGTON/NEW YORK (AmpolNS) -- There's more to celebrate this weekend than the birth of our great nation -- Brit Hume, Cokie Roberts, and Tim Russert were nowhere to be found.

Now that calls for a fireworks display -- because the Sunday gasbags didn't talk a whole lot about politics.  They were hung up on genetics and baseball when they weren't talking about the slew of Supreme Court decisions handed down this weekend.

Fox Snooze Sunday
Not Even Tony Snow Can Enliven a D-u-l-l Guest Lineup 

Tony Snow is an ardent conservative, a wise guy, a partisan, and our all-around favorite Sunday host -- he hits so many topics and keeps the pace fast and the attitude edgy and humorous.

But there are even days where Tony can't save a dull lineup of guests.

Tony's first guest was House loser Dick Armey (R-TX).  Tony played a clip of Bill Clinton saying "You could get rid of every fascist tract in your library and keep the Texas GOP platform instead."  Armey muttered something about the "marriage penalty" -- probably because to him marriage is a penalty that hinders his ability to hit on "coeds" the way he did as a professor.

Armey droned on about Clinton's "legacy" -- they're so furious that unlike Bush, Clinton will have a good one -- when substitute panelist Bill O'Really asked Armey if they'd get rid of the federal gas tax and use it to "paint Clinton into a corner."  What corner, O'Really?  Most STATE taxes are WAAAAY higher than the 18-cent-per-gallon tax that underwrites needed highway maintenance.  Armey railed against OPEC and foreign oil -- both friends of Shrubya Bush, by the way.

Tony said Trent Lott is pushing for a vote on cutting the gas tax -- will the House do it?  Armey muttered something about years of neglect of neglect of the nation's roads (the Reagan years, we will remind you).  If Bush were elected, would he allow offshore and wilderness drilling?  Armey said he wants to use the nation's "rich" supply of natural gas.

Not a bad idea -- the pipeline can originate in the houses of Congress (at least until the Dems win back the majority).

O'Really slammed entitlements to retirees -- we can only think he'd prefer they die of illnesses for which they can't afford medicine -- and Armey tied the issue imbecilically to Social Security, which he has tried to kill.  You've gotta love it -- the late-middle-aged Armey essentially saying that he wants to "help" people just a little older than him while also saying that he does not support programs to help them, then LIES by saying the Dems want a "one-size-fits-all" program.

Tony brought up late-term abortions -- Armey pledged to provide legislation to ban what he calls "partial-birth abortions."  What about a pro-choice running mate?  Armey evaded a direct answer, saying he'll pick an "exciting" running mate.

Tony: will Traficant join the GOP?  Armey avoided an answer.  Do you want him to become a Republican?  Armey didn't answer, then LIED AGAIN and said he gats "a certain grace from the press ... slack for being a Democrat."

Dick, who do you think you're fooling?  The press has been merciless -- justifiably so -- to Traficant for his corrupt conduct.  He's essentially a crook, and therefore fully qualified for the GOP if you ask us.

Throughout the interview, O'Really looked as if he were enjoying himself -- but Tony looked like he'd rather be someplace else.

Tony's next guest -- Gore 2000 Communications Director Mark Fabiano.  Tony asked dismissively about "McCarthyite" tactics and Mark lit into Bush's "henchmen" including Senator Spector who leaked confidential information and used McCarthyite tactics to promote it.  Tony asked how it was McCarthyite -- and Mark explained it pretty clearly, adding that the leak was illegal.  Tony then accused MARK of being a McCarthyite for making unsupportable accusations -- and Mark supported his assertions, even comparing Spector to Ken Starr.

Mara Liasson asked Mark about possible running mates, trying to tie them to "partial-birth abortion" as if it were a hot-button issue, and pressed him about "the right to an abortion."  Good Lord, Mara's sounding more and more like Laura Ingraham with each passing day with her loaded language.  Mark said Gore would be more qualified to name supreme Court justices.  When Mara asked Mark which justice was Gore's favorite, Mark said it was not either of Bush's faves (Fat Tony Scalia and Slappy Thomas).

Mara also claimed that Democrats are "concerned" that Gore "can't get any traction!"  Hilarious -- she's based this statement on slanted and therefore meaningless polls that the press gloms onto -- while ignoring early polls by a handful of teams with better records on long-term projections (like Underwriters Digital Research) that have Gore winning by a healthy popular margin and an overwhelming electoral vote.

Tony said that Gore sent a welcome message to a gay convention in Rome against the request of the Vatican -- and essentially asked if Gore was insensitive to Catholics!  Lotsa laughs, Tony -- American Catholics are a pretty independent lot -- and a lot of them are gay, too.

Mark had a great moment when he asked with regard to gas prices how Bush can be on the side of consumers when he's an oilman so chummy with big oil.

Tony looked as if he enjoyed a chance to go spin-to-spin with Mark -- and we're wondering why Mark hadn't been on the Sunday morning circuit previously.  He's articulate, witty and a fast thinker -- the perfect compliment to Tony's rapid-fire and occasionally wise-ass style (which we love).

But we digress -- Tony is at his best when he's putting Dems and liberals "on the spot" and brings out the best in many of these guests.  The problem is that Roger Ailes and Brit Hume have cut the ration of Dems to GOPers drastically since they became a stealth soapbox for the Bush campaign.  They would be wise to redress this balance -- because we think they could clock their main competition in a number of key markets (ABC's This Weak) with a better guest mix.

The segment on the Human Genome Project didn't exactly set the world on fire and had Tony squirming a bit -- he was talking with sedate genetics authority Dr. Richard Gibbs of Baylor, who gave the one-minute explanation of the goals and accomplishments of the Human Genome Project, and Dr. David Magnus, a privacy-leaning bioethicist, who at one point sounded on the verge of railing against genetic therapies that could change the sex of a fetus -- but also said that environment is influential along with the genetic makeup of your base pairs.  Did Dr. Magnus foresee the merger of computers and genes?  Magnus said yes -- and that raises the question of the private sector's involvement and business values trumping scientific and ethical values.

Panel time!  The "Supremes" overturn "partial birth abortion" (that's what Tony and O'Really call it) -- and O'Really claimed "most" Americans are against the "brutal" procedure.

...until they start hearing horror stories of women who would have DIED without a late-trerm abortion!  O'Really doesn't give a rat's ass about the health of people.

Mara said something predictable and inconsequential -- but Juan Williams chose to talk about women's health!  Hey, Juan, that's verboten.  Tony dishonestly talked about a "finding" that the "procedure" is unnecessary -- and Juan said that the court had heard from doctors that the late-term procedure was necessary.  O'Really LIED again saying that it was not necessary -- and compared what he claimed women's health groups were saying (about incremental attacks on women's health) to gun groups saying licensing will lead to confiscation.

That's a false analogy -- apples to oranges.  For one, the Second Amendment does NOT guarantee the right to own a gun.  Roe v. Wade DOES guarantee a woman access to procedures to terminate her pregnancy.

There was a lot of boring talk about the Supremes knocking down a lawsuit allowing the Boy Scouts of America to ban gay scoutmasters.  It was much sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Things got interesting when the gang discussed the court's ruling that religious schools can use taxpayer-financed materials (library books, AV equipment, computers).

Tony "conceded" that the Fox O-Spin-Oin Dynamics poll shows Gore "making somewhat of a comeback" -- then setting up O'Really with the poll question "Is Clinton an asset to the Gore Campaign?"  Naturally, O'Really said no -- and that nobody knows Gore.  What a liar.  Hey, O'Really -- do you know ANYTHING about Bush prior to his becoming governor -- say, back in 1972?  America doesn't NEED to get to know Gore -- all they need to do is learn all about Bush.

And they will.

Spinterpreter time -- an official from Oracle was commenting on gathering information on its competitors (Microsoft).  What came out?  Gordon Gekko from the film Wall Street -- saying that information is the most valuable commodity.

We loved it.

The McLaugh-In Group
Mad Pope John's Gas Pains

Issue one: Whose Energy Policy Is Worse? John McLaugh-In compared Gore's policy to Carter's -- because Gore actually has the nerve to expose Bush's ties to big oil!

Larry Kudlow said Gore had "Gore" himself because there's Occidental Petroleum in his trust (so?) and that people supposedly blame the government, not oil companies, for high prices -- then boosted the Bush oil plan.  Eleanor got a book plug from John!  John asked if Gore will pick a woman for veep -- Eleanor doubted it.  John said that the "heat is off" Gore if Bush picks Keating.  Eleanor said Bush IS an oilman and his energy policy is to drill and to get OPEC to open the spigots 'cause Daddy won the war!  YES!  It's about time SOMEONE brought up Bush team visits to OPEC countries, even if indirectly.  Tony Blankley said that Gore' vulnerable because he'd tax natural resources.  So? John tried to characterize Gore AGAIN as a tool of Occidental (dumb, dumb, dumb). Jim Warren made a snide and funny comment about Eleanor not mentioning John in her book acknowledgment -- and the group for driving SUVs!

Kudlow claimed that Gore would jack up taxes -- Eleanor said that everything with Larry comes back to supply-side -- and Larry said supply-side works!

Well, that's Economics 101 according to General Electric, the hawkish sponsor of McLaugh-In.

Who will get the blame for big oil prices: big oil, Bush, Gore, Bill Richardson?
Larry: High taxes
Eleanor: Although big oil looks suspicious, where can there be blame with all the SUVs
Tony: OPEC and Gore policy
Jim: Depends on where the prices and the economy goes
John: Taxes

No surprise from John -- GE must pay fuel taxes through the nose.  As they should, like any good corporate citizen -- a free-market economy should not mean a free ride.

Issue two courting controversy!  Parochial schools and computers!  Jim Warren called it narrow but huge and actually 4 to 2 -- this could portend vouchers.  Eleanor said that Thomas went overboard in his ruling, and even Sandra O'Connor dissented within the majority view.

The Boy Scouts exclude gay leaders -- Tony INCORRECTLY said the decision was based on the Boy Scouts being allowed to "uphold their values."

The Nebraska ban on "partial-birth abortions." Larry called it "disastrous... overturning the laws of 28 state legislatures... judicial activism at its worst."

Uh, yeah... and we're sure that had the court, say, overturned slavery in the 1860s, you would be appalled about that ruling using your states-rights reasoning.

Issue three: Doctor GOP!  John plugged the GOP-backed plan for private company prescription drug coverage.  Clinton slammed the plan. pointing out that insurance comapanies are for once right.  John claimed that the GOP had "co-opted" the Democrat issue -- but NEVER mentioned that the plan is radically different that te Dem plan.  Even Tony tacitly said so when he commented that the GOP is "edging in the right direction."  John made the ridiculous argument that insurance companies will pressure pharma companies to lower prices.  Jim warren called the argument ridiculous.  Shouting ensued -- Eleanor broke through, calling it accurately a subsidy to insurance companies.  Larry mentioned a new bill to be sponsored by Spence Abraham (a top target for Dem defeat).

Issue four: techno-spy paradise!  Xinhua News Agency wants to set up what John calls a covert monitoring operation near the Pentagon in a building they bought.  John called Xinhua a spy agency -- which is true. But then John mentioned a Washington Times "scoop" concerning the sale -- showing the story's Yellow Peril purpose.  Jim mentioned that the building was a bargain.  Eleanor called it more GOP paranoia.

And they all forget that espionage works two ways -- in other words, the new Xinhua work site itself becomes a source for information into China's capabilities.

Pointless predictions! Will the anti-missile test work?
Larry: I hope so [Oh, God, puh-leeze let it work so that the federal government will subsidize this boondoggle and boost the value of all the right-wing stocks in my portfolio!]
Eleanor: Only if they rig the test [Can't wait to see it fail]
Tony: Eventually it will work [Like, say, by 2050 -- at which point it'll be obsolete anyway]
James: Not a clue [I have better issues to worry about]
John: Yes [I wish I were Pope]

Face the Nation

Yep -- it's a de facto holiday weekend -- so Bob Schieffer disappointed us with a first segment on (do you believe it) the Home Run Explosion Crisis in Major League Baseball.  Despite the presence of Reggie Jackson and Jim Palmer, we ignored the whole thing.  But we bet that George Will -- whose books on baseball, by the way, happen to be outstanding reads -- snuck a peek.

The second pair of guests -- author Jeremy Rifkin and Dr. Francis Collins, director of the National Human Genome Research Institute.  There was discussion of tailor-made drugs, prolonging the human lifespan, and the possibility that genetic discrimination may arise.  Rifkin blasted the ability of companies to patent parts of the genome as their intellectual property.

Hey Bob, hey Gloria, you're at your best doing politics -- don't let those wussy producers push you into doing these silly non-political shows on holiday weekends! 

Eat the Press
WithOUT "Slim Russert"

The seriously overweight Tim Russert was, as one would expect, off today -- with his fat little kid and his fat little wife celebrating the wealth he has earned on the pain of the Clinton family.

Andrea Mitchell, professional Clinton-basher and professional gold digger (she is married to Federal Reserve honcho Alan Greenspan) was the hostess today. Her first guest: Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Pious Liar).

And you know we love Orrin Hatch -- because he is such a good liar, the ultimate politician.

He came on, along with Senator Bob Graham (D-FL) to discuss nothing less than the murder of the pharmaceutical aid bills now dying in Congress. The bills in question are the GOP cover up bills and the Democrat true-help bills.

Hatch lied through his teeth when he called the Dem bill a replay of Hillary Clinton's "Socialized Medicine" (ha, ha, ha -- yeah, right, Orrin) "attempt" in 1993. By the way, Orrin, we remind you that the state of health care in this nation is so poor that more than 80% of voters would accept socialized medicine -- see the American Politics Journal poll.

Now the bills in question only supports seniors. The pharmaceutical industry has paid off Congress in such a big way that it promises to be the nation's biggest scandal in 2001. On top of this, the pharmaceutical industry -- for whom we once had some respect -- is now running non-stop "commercials," especially on "pundit" affairs television shows, which are absolutely untrue -- served up through sham non-profit organizations that the industry itself formed to lie to you.

Andrea then "announced" that the Supreme Court overturned bans against partial birth abortion.

She pointed out that Gore has been saying repeatedly that if Americans don't elect him, the Supreme Court will become an ultra-right wing kangaroo court.

The fact: it very well might.

Mitchell then hit Gore, using of all groups the Arkansas Bar Association! Can you imagine their meetings? Just the thought makes our entire staff roll on the floor in uncontrollable laughter! I think they have two or three members that actually passed the bar in Arkansas -- and only one who could pass the New York Bar -- or even the Florida Bar.

Hatch then took a brief opportunity -- as he has done on every pundit yakfest in the last couple years -- to verbally lynch Janet Reno. He said that if she was a GOP-appointed Attorney General, "she would be destroyed by now." Then he realized what he said and added, "the media would beat her up so bad," again fantasizing that the media is controlled by the left wing.

Sure, Orrin -- that's why the "All Clinton Bashing All the Time" Cable news operations and network news divisions do nothing but trash her nowadays.

Andrea then mentioned a recent poll that showed Al Gore could win Florida if he chose Bob Graham as his running mate. And we say it would not a bad choice -- but in any case, Gore will win Florida -- and it should be mentioned that the poll was taken BEFORE the pharmaceutical bills were burned in hell by the Hastert, ott, Hatch and the rest of Satan's Republicans Cheerleaders. The GOP are now paid "ho's" of the International Pharmaceutical Industry (going under the pseudonym "Citizens for Better Medicine"), which gives with one hand to the rest of the world, and takes with the other -- from our moms, dads, grandparents, and the poor by charging Americans between 50 and 2000 percent more -- that's NOT a typo -- for the same drugs sold in Western Europe and Asia.

Make no mistake: these thieves must be stopped. And the best way to do that is throw the bums that support them out of the House and Senate in November.

Sure enough, a scam pharmaceutical commercial followed the segment. The sponsor said, "We're developing an Alzheimer’s disease drug ..." which means they don't have it -- and they're hoping that YOU'LL suffer a mild case of Alzheimer's and forget how Big Pharma tried to scam America in the legislative houses when you hit the election booth four months from Tuesday.

Research physicians were Mrs. Greenspan's next guest: Dr. Francis Collins of the Human Genome Project, Dr. Craig Venter of Celera Corp. (the private company that mapped human DNA), and Dr. Arthur Caplan discussed the mapping the human genome -- and how they will screw us over using the Human Genome Project to make certain our insurance companies, banks and everyone else turns the results into the Charge More Money For Everything Project.

Basically, the human genome project will only allow medicine to PREDICT your propensity to die from this or that. Some say it may take a long as 20 years for cures to be developed through genetic manipulation. This is untrue in fact -- because several drugs have already been developed, and tissue generation for organ growth is already in full operation, growing things like blood vessels, livers, kidneys, and other body parts -- all still in experimental stages, yes, but available to the very rich who can get these organs through European and Indian medicine.

In India, however, they have a better way -- simply buy these organs, especially kidneys, from the living... and worse, murder others for organs not so easily "donated."

Dr. Venter reminded Mrs. Greenspan that she wouldn't be able to extend her miserable life and that of her VERY WEALTHY husband anytime soon. We couldn't tell if she breathed a sigh of relief here or was unhappy that she couldn't count on hubby's ability to earn $20 million a year when he leaves the Fed.

The argument going on between the public Human Genome Project and the private sector -- which beat the government supported team in mapping the genome -- was discussed. The public sector has hit its knees on this one and is now supporting THE PATENTING of YOUR genes!!! What a laugh! Will the drug companies sue you for generating these genes? Actually, the patents are on drugs developed using these genes and ancillary genetic information. So don't worry...?

House loser Tom Bliley (R-Drug Industry) -- who is the Mr. Rogers of the Congress, a man so stiff that he can't sit down -- claimed that there has never been a case of genetic discrimination. Of course Bliley is lying. Every day, life insurance companies tap into your private medical records to see how much of a risk there is.

Will the American people ask to check a presidential candidates genes? That way, they might find out that BushBaby is a bastard -- or merely another textbook case of blue-blood lack of chromosomal variation causing pathological idiocy.

Andrea, who is Jewish and changed her name to hide it, worries about eugenics and particularly parents who might destroy their fetuses if the eyes of the baby are not the right color. Hey, hate to tell you, Mrs. G, but such selection is happening today in China and India. As a matter of fact, in the completely amoral nation of India, women who cannot produce boys are often burned to death to get rid of them, or some such. That's a fact.

Andrea "worried" about the gap between the haves and have-nots. Hey, sweetcakes, where were you when 2 million Africans were slaughtered last year -- working the EMS?

Talk about your have-nots -- how much of her and her husband's humongous income does she give to the have-nots? Inquiring minds want to know.

The entire discussion was boring. The program is supposed to be about politics and policy -- and the Genome Project is one of the most over-discussed project in television history.

Of course, NBC, like the other networks, assumes incorrectly that we are all morons and so they must set up the next segment -- a talk with a couple of moronic congressman about what we should do now that we've opened Pandora's Box o' Genes.

If you can believe this -- the human skunk, Stuart Taylor (who actually believed Paula "The Nose" Jones and lied about his position as a "journalist") was on the roundtable this week. Well, that shouldn't be any surprise. Who was with him on the panel? Why, Bob "Never told the truth about anything" Woodward, who made his name by writing down what "Deep Throat" -- Henry Kissinger in our opinion -- told him.

To counter this schmuck was Al Hunt, usually a denizen of CNN, who said that Al Gore would not be hurt on this latest witch hunt on Clinton. Taylor -- the biggest loser lawyer of them all -- opens his statement with, "The President should be disbarred, he has violated every standard blah, blah, blah."

What an indictable slob.

Woodward spread his lie that Gore was known as the "Solicitor-in-Chief" around the White House (another Woodward lie) -- well, Bob, what does that make George H. Daddy Bush?

Woodward talked so-called "fundraisers" -- but he isn't allowed into any fundraisers, or anywhere else for that matter -- except the house of his mistress, Sally Quinn, an ex-babe who fancies herself the next Pearl Mesta or Esther Coopersmith when in reality she is one of the most laughable losers in Washington.

Andrea talked about legislation which amends the tax code to prevent stealth "527" committees from running commercials for candidates "independently." Mitch McConnell told all the Reeps to vote for it only because it would hurt them not to. He thinks, of course, that the law will be overturned as unconstitutional by the Supreme Court.

Andrea then asked why the Newsleak -- er, Newsweek magazine poll (Woodward's friends) shows Gore and Bush in a dead heat this week -- when Gore was supposedly trailing by as much as ten points last week.

Taylor then sided with -- what's this -- Reno and Gore? What's up, Stuart? Have you developed a conscience recently? He did however continue to make snide remarks about Clinton and Gore.

Woodward -- a supposedly liberal writer -- then made fun of Terry MacAuliffe because he raises the most money for the President (horror of horrors), AND -- God forgive him -- is "raising money for the Clinton Library!!!" (a direct quote from this aging overbuff fruitcake). Woodward, who is hated by his partner Bernstein (the guy who did all the real work on Watergate), is such a disturbing character because he seems so genuine. Watch out for him because he will butcher anyone that can make him money by doing it.

Stuart Taylor, now owned by Woodward via the WashingQuinn Post and Newsweek (owned by the Post and the conglomerate which birthed such abortions as Michael "Itchycough" and his despicable editor who fight each other for lens time), talked about what Bush would do to the Supreme Court.

Taylor pretends Bush wouldn't really make much impact.

Sure, Stew -- like Hitler didn't make all that much impact on Germany.

Woodward, so foolish, said that "there is something in the air" at the Supreme Court that "keeps justices alive longer than most."

Yes, idiot -- it's called great wealth, wisdom and the respect and almost royal fealty that Washington shows them. Hardly anyone would die before 95 with access to the best of the best of the best.

Here's one more thing you should know about Woodward -- he made his first millions on the backs of American liberals who, now out of favor among the absolute morons that control the Congress, find Woodward attacking them for nothing more than dollars. He's a pathetic Judas with absolutely no ethics we can see -- including his lies about talking to all sorts of mystery sources at the White House -- where no one talks to him. Period.

So much for the Mrs. Mitchell Hour of Lies, Innuendo and Bush. We wondered if Scam and Cockie will be away for the long weekend -- laying around in their vacation homes on the beach. The bets favor Cockie appearing, while Sam burns his head on his fishing boat.

This Weak
A vacation from Cockie Roberts

Well! Turns out Cockie had the whole week off to spend time with husband Steve, whom we hear she's teaching to write.

Scam opened with a fellow irrelevant baldy: Ricardo Alarcon, the top honcho in the Cuban House, who commented on how Elian Gonzalez may have helped to improve relations with the USA. Scam said, well, how come you're having violent anti-US rallies? They are not violent, said Alarcon -- making Sam look moronic in his transparent lying. Hey, you must reach out to us, said Scam. The Cuban dude, dressed in one of the see-through shirts in baby blue, was a bore.

It appears that the Cubans are angry that Clinton traveled to North Korea and not to Cuba. Well, who cares? Cuba and Castro destroyed anyway -- done, over, economically devastated and ripe for change. Scam, stupidly, wanted to know why Cuba does not give all their people air tickets and passports. Then Scam asked Alarcoon how Elian is doing?

Oh please -- leave the kid alone, Scam. Who cares anyway?

Next Scam welcomed a true set of idiots on to discuss the abortion issue -- especially now that the Supremes (as we call them) have overturned any ban to partial birth abortion. Governor Tommy Thompson (R-WI) said he is not sure that this language will be in the GOP platform. He thinks it will be, and Bush wants it, but Governor Christy Whitman (R-NJ) was next -- she is a "right-winger" who is left of center and supports abortion on demand.

The program seemed completely screwed up. Why would Whitman follow Thompson to talk about how she will fight to keep this plank out of the GOP platform.

Next up was NOBODY Dr. James Dobson -- who thinks he speaks for God Himself and said that Whitman is not in line with his anti-gay, anti-condom, anti-anything wishes of "Christian Conservatives"

Hey, there are no Christian Conservatives -- only evil people who control sheeplike "evangelicals" who believe the Bible literally -- and try to control the government.

"Dr." Dobson. Ha, ha, ha, ha -- Doctor of what? The Bible? Beating kids? Business Administration disguised as a Church? Don't you just hate these phony Bible thumpers who call themselves Doctor? The reason they do it is to lend at least SOME credibility to themselves. Certainly their crazy religious views don't give them any.

Dobson, who hates everything and everyone who is not him, said he refuses to endorse George Bush. Dobson said to Scam that he is not interested in power. Scam couldn't help but laugh. Dobson said he will not help any candidate who allows abortion to continue. He then showed his own stupidity by saying that babies everyday are delivered entirely except the last two inches of their heads -- and then their brains are sucked out!

What an imbecile!. Hey, "Doctor" Moron, it's the HEAD that has to come out first.

Christie, who was hanging out at her three-million-dollar beach house, said that Dobson is extreme and the GOP base does not agree with those views. Whitman does want to ban late-term abortions anyway -- but with the exception of when the life of the mother is in danger. Whitman added that these crazy born-again re-resurrected Pseudo-Christians are ruining the Republican party and these issues are not the most important facing our country.

She's right.

Scam asked whether party platforms are fakery. Of course they are, Scam.

Whitman said that she would be honored to run with Bush. Ha, ha, ha, ha -- is she kidding? She makes Bush look like Hitler. Whitman is a Democrat in Reep's clothing.

Scam moved on to the non-story about people in the Midwest suffering under high gas prices.

Well, that's what our noble citizens in the Heartland get for supporting morons like George Bush -- who they still love in the majority -- even though it was he and his Daddy that were two of the architects of doom regarding oil and gasoline dependence.

Of course, Scam asked Thompson -- a virulent Clinton hater -- what was causing the gas crisis. He said Clinton. Of course.

Dick Durbin, one of the most respected Senators, said that the big oil companies -- led by the Georges Bush -- are at fault. Bush went to the Arab countries late last year as part of his "duty" as a consultant and board member to the British Carlyle Group. At those meetings, Bush made it clear that BabyBush was running for President -- and, by the way, wouldn't it be great if the Arabs raised their oil prices to cause a fuel crisis to make Gore look bad?

Make Gore look bad? What the heck does he have to with oil prices? Thompson actually said we are being GORED by high oil prices -- the latest "spin line" from the desk of GOP Chairman Jim "Soon to be Fired" Nicholson! Tee hee.

It is Al Gore that has been begging American and foreign oil companies to cut down on the toxins in gasoline, has been begging Detroit to raise its fuel economy standards, has been urging the pipelines to stop bickering in this country, has been urging ethanol blending which at least helps farmers, and may help air quality.

All the way, Republicans have blocked these efforts -- led by the Bush Dynasty.

Is Thompson crazy?

George Will interviewed the same guy we saw earlier today -- Dr. Francis Collins, who headed up the public side of the genome project. Will asked the same stupid question that Andrea Mitchell did. What does Will do -- watch Beat the Prez first and then frame his questions?

He asked, "What will happen when the American people demand to see the President’s genetic structure?" The answer was the same -- they shouldn’t. The art of gene therapy, said Collins, will allow patients and doctors to communicate on a much more personal level. We'd say!

Will asked about the thousand patented genes. Collins said that it matters if the patent on the gene is placed by research companies who will utilize them -- so don't go running out to patent some gene you're not going to use!

Will wanted to know about "baby architecture." Dr. Collins brushed this off. He said we are not controlled by our genes. We are still a product of our environment.

Sure -- but we are ALSO largely controlled by our genes. Fat people, ugly people, beautiful people, smart people, sad people and drunks -- all can trace their afflictions to genetic propensities -- and ones that were acted on by their parents and/or themselves.

Little Brutus -- George Staphylococcus -- and Will went after the "No Gays Allowed" Among Boy Scout Leaders decision of the Supreme Court last week. Will muttered something about politics, and Staph said the Boy Scouts just have the guts to say, "hey, we don't want fags training our boys!" Some black guy who looks like an alien (he reminds us of Bob Kerrey) was the emergency holiday guest panelist and actually made sense compared to Scam, Staph and Will.

Will misquoted the women answering the latest LA Times poll that more than 50% of women are against abortion during the second trimester. The question did not ask whether women were for or against -- it asked about comfort of decision. No woman -- no matter how tough -- doesn't cry after she makes the decision and undergoes the procedure. A procedure that doesn't MURDER anyone or anything but a glob of cells that might, maybe, someday, be a human being.

Scam brought up the New York Senate race and showed a clip of Bill Clinton talking about Rick Lazio and saying "and they call me 'slick'?" Staph said the President "has a pass" on the Hillary race. Will said that whatever the President does to make New York a referendum on Clinton will only help whichever candidate he speaks for. Now there is some real brilliance from Will.

Staph, the moron, said "Will Bill Clinton stay at the convention for the full week and not give up the spotlight to Gore?" Of course, Staph -- or at least that's what you want to telegraph about the boss you stabbed in the back.

Will moaned about the "fact" that Ivy League schools do not have a pre-requisite for American history, then bored us further by talking about Jacques BlahBlahBlah's new book on the history of civilization which is number ten on the New York Times best seller list.

So? Run out and buy it so you can be just like George Will.

That was it.

And, to be honest, the show was much better without the sniveling Cokie Roberts -- more relaxed, especially since Sam was screaming less than usual in an effort to get attention.

Maybe Sam can make it better without the Cocky Cokie?...

The Strangely Missing

The big, breaking "news story" on the Fox "News" Channel concerned a panel of Arkansas judges on the state's Supreme Court suing Clinton to strip him of his law license.  Hardly a pundit took advantage of this juicy opportunity to once again bash Clinton for so-called "perjury" or "lying under oath."

Interesting.  Anyone think that this sham, politically-motivated maneuver is about to backfire big time?