Sunday, June 4, 2000 -- WASHINGTON/NEW YORK (AmpolNS) -- Clinton is in Russia meeting with their first freely-elected president, Vladimir Putin.

And, typically, the Solons of Sabbath practically ignored it.  Two of the shows chose to lead with that life-and-death issue, Little Elian.  Most of the shows belittled Clinton's Russian summit meeting, claiming that a lame duck POTUS isn't going to be taken seriously.

We can't wait to see these morons proven wrong later this week.

Here's the lowdown:

Fox Noise Sunday
Brit disappoints with presidential losers-to-be 

Oh, no! Tony Snow's on vacation -- Brit Hume hosted, and Fred "The Weasel" Barnes was the guest right-wing questioner-pundit.

Guest one: Pennsylvania Governor Tom Ridge, hyped in the opening by Brit as a possible GOP veep nominee. Brit led with those suspicious FOX O-Spin-Ion Dynamics numbers that "show" Dubya with a healthy lead. Brit first asked Ridge about the Cold War! It's nauseating -- the right wants it revived. They want a missile defense. They want global instability -- all so GE and other Sunday blabfest advertisers can get hefty new contracts. Fred asked if Ridge would "adopt [Dubya's] pro-life position" if he's nominatied as veep, and Ridge said "it's documented" he and Dubya "disagree" on the issue, but it's the duty of the veep nominee to back the presidential nominee's position. Brit said, "So you;d publicly back a position with which you privately disagree?" Ridge gave a weak answer that tried to sidestep the question -- one that assured he won't be Shrub's running mate. Mara Liasson asked a question about the party platform, and followed it up by asking about the Bush "message" to suburban moms that he may be pro-choice, but "don't worry." Ridge claimed that Bush would have no anti-abortion litmus test for Supreme Court nominees.

Nothing could be further form the truth.

Juan Williams asked if there was any reason that Ridge would turn down an offer from Bush to be his running mate. Hmmm... is Juan saying that Ridge disagrees too much with Dubya, or might this have something to do with the scandal-plagued Pennsylvania GOP? Juan then asked something about Al Gore changing a position, and Ridge claimed that Bill Bradley had posed a strong challenge to Gore and that Gore was trying to figure out where he stands" before launching into a speech in praise of compassionate conservatism.

A boring question about tax cuts preceded a question about Bush's sudden "change of heart" in granting a 30-day reprieve to a Texas death row inmate. Ridge sounded like Bush -- a sudden convert to DNA evidence -- and said the current reprieve had been made on a "case-by-case" basis. Following the break, Brit tried to claim that joke activist Ralph Nader's campaign posed a threat to the Gore campaign. Yeah, right -- the only threat it poses is to the credibility of pundits like Brit Hume. We'll remember this one come November. Brit claimed Gore was "green" with envy (cute but dumb pun).

First, Brit played a vid clip from a few years ago of Nader saying he was not going to run for president. Then Juan asked "what's wrong" with Al Gore. Nader lambasted the government taking over politics -- as if a Nader presidency would be able to change anything. Nader also whined about the press reporting on O.J. Simpson as opposed to issues -- about the only intelligent thing he said. Juan asked a misinfoirmed question about whether James Hoffa Jr. would be his running mate -- and Nader said there's alreday a running mate in place, native American Winona LeDuque. Mara claimed that Ross Perot was able to make deficit reduction an issue; Nader said public financing would be his big issue, claiming it would lead to "clean money elections."

And, we guarantee, outright bribery of elected officials on a scale never before seen.

Juan asked what President Nader would do about the Eritrea-Ethiopia war, and he said that he'd go after pharmaceutical companies and make cheap AIDS drugs available in Africa. Huh? Then he talked about diplomacy.

Brit said that the present election financing situation does not resonate with most Americans and indicates a public that is happy. Ha, ha, ha -- that means happy with Bill Clinton, Brit! Nader launched into a tirade against big media and "beef and pig conglomerates."

Brit followed fake reformer presidential candidate Nader with Reform Party fascist candidate Pat BuKKKanan. This guy got more than enough exposure on the McLaugh-In Group and CNN's Crossfire, so we mostly ignored him today. But it was nice to hear Mara asking him about the California Reform Party essentially refusing to let Buchanan's name appear in their party slot on the ballot in November, and Juan pointing out that Pat is showing up at rallies with liberal and left-wing activists ("With sea turtles," Pat gushed before launching into an isolationist tirade). Pat said nothing new -- although there was speculation about Alan Keyes as a possible running mate.

Panel time! Mara says Dems think that a pro-choice running mate for Bush guarantees a Bush win. Hey Mara, don't count on it -- it won't be enough to win the voted of women given Bush's known negatives -- and that's not even counting the possibility of a couple skeletons in his closet. Juan praised Ridge as a man of stature -- but who outside of Pennsylvania and FNS viewers has heard of him. Fred talked about trial balloons and played up the right-to-lifers as the kingmakers in the GOP.

Talk turned to Elian Gonzalez and what Brit characterized as an appeals court ruling "for Fidel Castro." Fred wants to see Juan Miguel defect. Brit talked about the chief judge not only writing about "judicial restraint" but not liking having had to rule the way he did. Mara claimed that this was a signal that Congress has to act. Right, Mara -- before those awful Democrats take over!

Brit then turned to a bash-Gore story concerning a tenant farmer on his property who had a leak. "What if anything does this tell us about Al Gore?" Fred bashed Gore.

What it tells us is that ANYTHING about Al Gore will be spun by the right wing in an effort to cultivate the same kind of hatred that was foisted on Bill Clinton.

Brit ended with the Spinterpreter! Hillary said that her campaign is about who can best represent the interests of New Yorkers. Spinterpretation: Mel Gibson in Braveheart shouting "Are you ready for a WAAAAAAR!!!"

Yes, it DID have us laughing!

The McLaugh-In Group
John McLaugh-In Demands Missile Shield Against Liberals (Except Eleanor Clift)

Following the required propaganda clip from GE, Issue one: Hello Bill, Hello Vlad! John emphasized the summit topics: arms control, missile defense, amendments to the ABM treaty, Chechnya, and the Russian economy. John played up the differences -- but they are not that big. Larry Kudlow said Putin has the upper hand because Clinton's a lame duck.

Sure, Larry -- as a lame duck with more power, respect and prestige than any president in his last term. Your words do nothing to strip him of the influence he has.

Eleanor said that Clinton is free of political constraints; David Frum spun the idea of no discussion of lack of civil liberties in Russia; Larry O'Donnell said that Clinton has the upper hand in that Russia needs the US and Clinton is experienced. John said that Putin "knows" Clinton is a lame duck who "needs a legacy."

Enough with the legacy spin, John -- Putin NEEDS Bill, and you know it! O'Donnell was right when he said Clinton is "going through the motions" on missile defense -- and we agree. Eleanor asked Kudlow if he was investing money in the Russian stock market -- and Kudlow said that it looked more tempting than the American market because of knuckleheads like Greenspan! We loved it!

Will something come out of the meeting? The consensus: a minor agreement.

Following ten minutes of mandatory GE spots ("We bring death-dealing defense technology to life"), Issue Two: School Daze! "School reform is in" as a presidential campaign topic. Bush wants vouchers, Gore wants teacher upgrading and universal preschool. Who are Gore and Bush targeting? Frum said that Bush is targeting those fretting over Columbine, who see schools as a moral issue. Is Gore pandering to those awful union teachers? The panel put down teachers as dumb, unionized and protecting the status quo -- but Eleanor brought up crumbling school physical plants.

Issue Three: un nuevo dia en America -- presidential front-runners courting Hispanics --5 1/2 percent of the electorate that can determine the outcome. It was a dull segment -- until Kudlow said that the Zogby poll (the same team that predicted a D'Amato victory over Schumer) shows Hispanics as socially conservative.

Predictions!

Kudlow: Jon Corzine will decisively defeat Jim Florio in Tuesday's New Jersey Democratic Senate primary.
Clift: Clinton will visit Vietnam before he leaves office.
Frum: The China PNTR vote will prompt unions to defect to Ralph Nader.
O'Donnell: Gore will come out of the Democratic convention with a slight lead over Bush.
John: Clinton will call for a lifting of the Cuba embargo in early December.

This Weak
Greg Craig Snubs Socialite Cockie -- Can You Blame Him?

Greg Craig Snubs Socialite Cockie -- Can You Blame Him?

Of course, Cockie started off This Weak with Elian Gonzalez -- will these people ever learn? Roberts, of course, interviewed a lawyer for the criminal Gonzales family in Miami. The lawyer is trying to sweep Elian into some huge group of aliens-in-waiting (for asylum) so he can then approach the Supreme Court on this "wide issue."

How in the world can these dime-a-dozen attorneys find the money to bring a Supreme Court case -- and hope for it to be heard in October -- or at anytime? The federal courts have ruled that Elian cannot seek political asylum without his father's participation.

The Gonzalez mouthpiece made all the predictable lunatic statements -- "return to a permanent police state... the Cuban government OWNS the children in Cuba... Juan Miguel is lying... blah, blah, blah...." Face it, you bloodsucking lawyers from Miami -- your day is done, no one knows you name, the Cuban Americans will hate you for losing, and you did all that work for nothing.

Cockie then told America that Greg Craig declined to be on This Week -- ha, ha, ha, hahaha! We guess he chose Slim Russert because Slim is even dumber than Cockie, and nobody watches the dreadful This Weak. Scam began by talking about the death penalty and said that the U.S. and Turkey are the only nations that still murder criminals as part of "justice."

Strangely enough, it is the Christian movement in this nation that supports this murder most. Think about that.

Scam talked to some real "heavyweights" -- some state senator from Texas, Governor Ryan of Illinois, and some other nobody. Scam interviewed the state senator because he was the one who ACTUALLY gave the order to stay the execution of some poor slob murderer awaiting the results of a DNA test to make certain he is a murderer.

Interestingly enough, Bush never did this before. Is he now trying to look compassionate -- even though he isn't, and did nothing to provide the inmate with a 30-day reprieve?

Governor Ryan, who is pro-death penalty, said that he stopped issuing death warrants because most murder defendants are represented by morons, disbarred lawyers, and the like. Ryan is right. The system does not work for the poor or the insane.

Then Scam talked to some nut who actually stands for murdering killers -- well, okay, we guess that's his right. He claimed that only one half of one percent of killers have been fortunate enough to have their sentences overturned on appeal.

So what? What does that mean?

73% of Americans say the death penalty is okay in some cases. 20% of Americans are not certain that the justice system works. Look -- the fact that since DNA technology has been developed, hundreds of death penalty cases have not only been reversed -- but the prisoners set free! Is it worth saving those 100 by banning the death penalty as cruel and unusual because the accused, or even the convicted is now not alive to try to prove his or her innocence no matter how long it takes -- or how long it takes to fail? The only logical way to attack a ban on the death penalty is to say it's too expensive to keep a prisoner alive. Well, guess what -- we can show you study after study that shows the execution of a man costs even more than keeping him in a cell for fifty or sixty years!

The state senator from Texas pointed out that the only justice in America is in ratio to income. Well, surprise, surprise! In Texas -- the George Dumbellyou state -- the highest court in the state ruled that an accused murderer got a FAIR trial even though his attorney was asleep during most of it! Ha, ha, ha -- that must have been the same judge the erased BabyBush's coke conviction as if it never happened, yet put hundreds of black kids in prison for 25 years on the same charge. As a matter of fact, George Bush is proof that justice is only for the rich. Perhaps his running mate should be O.J. Simpson.

GE commercials followed -- of course. What DOES GE want from the government, anyway? They are already the largest corporation in the world. Can they get any bigger?

Cockie said that Lazio is "only" trailing behind Hillary Clinton by four points. Lazio is on a bus tour and George Staphylococcus rode the bus with him. Lazio said that he will get people who vote for Al Gore to vote for him. Ha, ha, ha, ha -- Lazio can't really answer except to launch the tired words of "inclusiveness."

Lazio started talking about Democrat ideals -- clean earth, education, and gays. No gays should be fired for being gay. Wow. Heavy. Lazio made no excuses for being a Gingrich clone.

Lazio then tried to put into question Hillary's character by claiming that voters want someone who has character.

Lazio looked like a dummy and laughed when he shouldn't. He wonders whether Hillary has a record for delivering to New York.

You bet she does. Already. More than Little Ricky ever has. Check it out.

Howard Wolfsan -- the ugliest spokesperson around -- spoke for Hillary and asked where Rick Lazio has been for eight years. Cockie -- although she knows well that nobody even knows a thing about Lazio -- has lower negative ratings than Hillary Clinton -- a woman that everyone on earth knows of.

Hillary runs at about 36% negative -- which is, hilariously enough, the same percentage as the GOP registration in New York. Wait until the Democrats and independent women find out that Lazio is a Pat Robertson anti-abortionist, who voted against Medicare, voted against keeping the Department of Education funded, and voted against workers. Lazio tried to cut education then, and now claims he is the "education" candidate. Cockie said that Mrs. Clinton is not available. She is "not accessible," claimed Cockie. This is a gimme question, because Cockie herself has interviewed the First Lady during the campaign and Wolfsan invited her to do it again.

The latest lie from the American Pharmaceutical Cartel followed in commercial form. They're also fielding another commercial featuring old people from Canada being bussed to the U.S. to get "real drugs" because they cannot get them in Canada.

You mean REAL EXPENSIVE drugs, don't you, Pharma companies?

Chase Manhattan Skank was next -- trying to convince you to switch to them after they fired most of their tellers and lied to you about how using a cash card would be easier -- and then started to charge you for the transaction.

These are the companies that support the lies of Scam and Cockie. Now, the non-dynamic duo move to the missile defense shield. Gee, what do they do? Have a spy in the Meet the Press office?

George Will did get his personal show time with Senator Kerry , arguing about the Ray Gun defense plans. Kerry thinks it's okay on a multilateral basis -- but he is concerned with a unilateral development, and rightfully so, because other nations -- like Russia and China -- - will feel they will have to respond by building their own systems. Kerry wisely brought up what China might think.

Will then asked what we will do with Baghdad. What a stupid question. We would not share this tech with Saddam. What's wrong with this bow-tied twerp? Kerry also generally calls Will an idiot for thinking that China with 23 missiles and North Korea with one (that probably would not work anyway) would actually use these weapons against the US when they know such action would level their country within an hour.

Will worried about the changes needed in the ABM treaty because the system has to be tested.

So what? It's not as if we don't violate our treaties every day. We do, they do.

Will had nothing to say -- he obviously was poorly prepared to debate Senator Kerry on this issue.

This Kerry isn't the one quitting because he married a billionaire wife -- or is he? Can't keep up with the scandals.

Texaco -- who never advertises on pundit television -- all of sudden is supporting pro-Bush This Weak. Wonder why?

GE had another silly commerical.

Then came the round table, as the four jerks sat around and talked about Gore reinventing himself. Staph agreed. Will said that Gore was just too negative and too "synthetic." He also wanted to know why these stupid campaigns keep announcing that they are retooling. Good question. Then they all chorus: George Bush's team isn't doing that!

George has totally caught on -- he is a wonderful campaigner, they chime. Scam said that Gore now dresses differently. Staph defended Gore's clothing. What the hell was this -- This Weak turning into CNN's Style with Elsa Klensch?

Soft money is now being debated in the Gore camp. Should they break the pledge not to use soft money? Staph and Cockie think it will hurt him, but neither say that the proper set up will make the use of soft money moot.

It's simple: Gore goes on television and brings a chart of Bush soft money contributions along with a chart of his own. He then would say it is clear that he cannot communicate with Americans because Bush will drown his message with money. For that reason, although it pains him, he will now accept soft money contributions -- and then fight the GOP when he is president to end their legality.

Cockie brings up the Catholic church again because her mama is the Ambassadorette to the Vatican -- a really really important job. I mean, the entire country is just sooooooo worried about the financial health and potential military threat of the Pope, aren't we?

They then went on about the Ray Gun defense. Jesse Helms, of course, is saying there will be NO arms agreements this session of Congress. Great -- the old bastard is still ruining this nation.

Scam wanted to talk about the fact that Oregon said that adult adoptees are allowed to have the true birth certificates. The Supreme court has upheld this. We say good. Adopted kids should know who their biological parents are -- what diseases they might have. Cockie then said that there should be a middle way to get the records to the adopted kids, without revealing the names of the parents or mother. Bullshit. These whores -- now society queens (or so they think) -- should at least tell the kids who they are, or were, and whether they know the father and what genetic and mental deficiencies run in their "secretive" families.

Eat the Press
Russert Assumes the Position for Brokaw

Toad-faced Tim Russert began his show correctly outlining the big stories of the past week: the President's Summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin and John McCain's failure to show at George Dumbellyou Bush's Arizona fund-raiser (McCain's home state).But Russert -- true to form -- begins the show with an interview with Greg Craig, lawyer for Elian Gonzalez and his dad.

Who cares? This case is over. Elian is going home.

Russert said, "Wouldn't is be best if Juan Miguel Gonzalez defected and stayed here?"

Sure, and then the rest of his family can be shunned or worse in Cuba! The fact is that Juan Miguel Gonzalez does not want to stay here -- and why should he? Have you seen where his cousins live? Have you seen their arrest records? Have you visited Little Havana -- the real Little Havana -- and asked the people there "How ya doin'"? You might be surprised at their answer. These people are not Americans -- they are Cubans in waiting -- waiting to go back to Cuba, after Castro dies, so they can kill every Commie they can find.

Russert went on and on with this garbage. He showed Elian wearing a Cuban Pioneers uniform and inferring that this is a "horror or horrors." The entire Ampol staff was chuckling at this cheap "Slim" flam. Then Russert -- the idiot -- remarked that Elian was also wearing a Jose Marti tee shirt!! Well, moron, Marti happens to be a hero of all Cubans -- commies and capitalists.

Russert claimed that this case has changed Greg Craig's entire life! Sure, his chief counsel position successfully defending the President against the gang of GOP thugs trying to lynch him didn't change his life -- did it? Now we are sure that Craig probably told Russert this off camera -- that it had changed his life and now he realized even more the importance of family which transcends all political concerns -- but really!

A host of GE and ADM commercials followed.

Slim then bowed before Tom Brokaw -- the man in the driver's seat at NBC News. It's pretty obvious that Russert wants his job, but of course will never get it because he's nothing more than a stooge for the GOP -- or whatever party is in power and supports his super-Christian agenda. Brokaw talked about the 11 Russian time zones -- underscoring that the Russian people in the East pay absolutely no attention to Moscow. Brokaw, unlike Slim, does not seem to be afraid of the fact that Putin was a middle level bureaucrat at the KGB.

Putin suggests that the USA and Russia work on Reagan's Star Wars weapons together. The imbecilic Russert and Brokaw look SHOCKED about this. You have to laugh! This idea is not new. We have, for decades, shared our defense and offense technology with Russia and in some small ways China.

This is an intelligent deployment of war tech sharing with potential military giants. There is no way that these three nations can win any war against each other -- thus the logic and practice is correct. Build together, with mutual respect and fear of each other's power. In this way, the three giant powers can control smaller rebellious nations who might develop usable missile technology.

Russert claimed that Putin stated that Communism was a beautiful fairy tale. In Russia, this is the mainstream thought and has been for more than thirty years that I know of. Communism is a PR stunt -- much as democracy often is. The form of government is merely a window dressing for powerful men to control others. Some systems are more fair than others. But one only need look to the familial and historical relationships among Presidents of the United States to make a claim that we live in a kingdom where "royal families" trade seats in the Senate and White House and even in the "plebian" House.

Brokaw and Russert droned on about Putin's KGB background. Why aren't they talking about all the presidents that toed the line for J. Edgar Hoover? What's the difference? All young people -- except those born in the late forties and early fifties -- are attracted to powerful and secret police organizations. This is just normal testosteronial drive. Big deal. One could analyze many moves in this nation which might appear even more cruel and vengeful than many KGB actions. How about placing Japanese-Americans in concentration camps and then -- 50 years later -- awarding them a measly $25 grand for their misery and humiliation?

Sounds pretty KGB to me!

Then Slim had an opportunity for a good interview with McCain, and then blew it -- as usual -- by bringing up Elian Gonzalez as the first item. What a jerk! McCain then said that he doesn't think that Russian is smart enough to develop a Star Wars type missile defense system. Ha, ha, ha, hahaha! Hey, moron -- who was in space first?

Both Slim and McCain just don't get it. Even if the Russians could not develop the system -- we would give it to them. Don't you realize that they have 65,000 armed warheads that they could point at the US if they felt threatened or sterile on the world stage?

McCain agreed that there are many similarities between NBC news people and KGB apparatchiks. That's for sure!!!! Right on, Putin and McCain. Then Russert showed a clip of Secretary of Defense William Cohen, who thinks Bush is a moron because he would go forward with the technology without the Russians (although we think this is not true -- we think that BabyBush would do as his father did and share technology with the Russians to keep them secure).

These defense systems are being developed to defend against crazies like the North Koreans -- and people like the "Reverend" Sun Myung Moon, who now owns too many media outlets in the United States to be trusted (tee hee). McCain seems to think that we should keep the tech to ourselves but then tell the Russians and our allies that we would always use these defensive weapons to defend them as well -- and other countries against all aggressors.

But JJ, what if WE were the aggressors -- this is what worries Russia and the Chinese.

Thus the sharing of defense technology is always the better choice unless we are admitting to the world that we are, or have the potential to become an imperialistic nation.

Russert asked why McCain is raising money for people that are against camping finance reform. Well, the answer is that McCain obviously cherishes his leadership role in the Senate more than his principals -- that is, if he actually has any.

McCain said again that he will not consider the Vice Presidential nomination. But he will, because Bush has not a chance to win without him.

Slim then showed another clip with Satanic telepreacher Pat Robertson talking about McCain as a nut, a danger to America, etc. Pat Robertson really is a goofball. He claimed that McCain is unbalanced.

McCain replies that this simply proves that men like Robertson should have no place in GOP politics.

That's an understatement -- but how about "Robertson should be in prison -- preferably in Chechnya."

A boring discussion about a no-name Governor -- Tom Ridge as VP for Bush -- ensued. The reason -- because Ridge is "liberal." Oh, brother.

Then the stupid confederate flag issue bubbles to the surface again.

Russert "proved" that McCain's campaign manager, who linked McCain to neo-Nazi Richard Quinn, was wrong and Russert was right! What a self-serving asshole.

The big laughs of the morning were on the way with Slim's private panel of Washington Outsiders -- the aging David Broder and fossilized fascist Bill Safire, whom we suspect masturbates to pictures of Nixon and Reagan every evening.

Commercials for Xerox (produced by idiots) and GE preceded the chuckles. And by the way, what is GE doing in the insurance, finance and investment business?. Next thing, they'll be selling used cars!

Safire called Putin a Johnny-Come-Lately Democrat because -- get this -- he was not outspoken about the fairy tale of Communism when he was with the KGB! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha -- the entire Ampol media compound erupted in alughter at this idiotic statement. Safire, to be fair, explained the situation better than any before: he said that this is a method to stop a dissident leader from blackmailing the United States -- one American City destroyed -- or one big favor to me. Good story.

Broder is asked whether the campaign is engaged -- over missile defense and social security?

Sure, Tim -- Americans are paying little or no attention to anything. It's summer!

Broder "warned" Clinton that an outgoing administration should not make a decision like the missile defense system. He claimed that our putting the three newest nations into NATO angered our allies and the Russians as an example of bad Albright foreign policy. What a thoroughgoing jerk Broder has become. The Clinton Administration would do well to bring the Russians into NATO as well.

What are these two idiot writers -- not experts on anything but pleasing their editors and their constituencies -- doing on national television arguing about complex military issues?

Safire then slammed Broder -- and, to our amazement, we AGREED with him -- as he said that Clinton bringing Hungary, Czechoslovakia and Poland into NATO was the greatest thing Clinton has done in foreign policy! Has Safire been threatened by the Pulitzer Committee to get straight or get out? We think so.

Safire then also spoke nicely about Gore. What is going on? Safire claimed that the government will solve the social security problem (which won't be a problem until 2040, if ever) by raising the age of retirement to 72. We doubt that that will be the prime issue in 2040. We'll probably all be wearing gas masks to avoid being poisoned by the noxious fumes of automobiles by that time.

In the latest phony-baloney Zogby poll, Little Ricky Lazio is down just four points under Hillary Clinton. Rudy is returning contributors' checks as cashier's checks -- all they need do is sign their name and ship these checks back to Lazio. Was Russert actually reminding GOPers to do their sacred duty -- and thereby assist Lazio? Hillary Clinton should demand that Russert spend a similar amount of time telling the nation how they can contribute to her senate campaign! Speaking of which, Safire said the camping is "about" Hillary Clinton. The campaign will go on to people: Robert Ray -- the newest Independent Counsel, who Safire hopes will damage her -- and the two Clintons shaking hands with Yasir Arafat a month before the campaign.

Of course, Mrs. Clinton is not that stupid.

We were shocked by Safire's new veil -- "considered intellectual" -- and applaud the effort. Keep it up and we may withdraw our opposition to your position on the Pulitzer Board -- but only if you nominate us in the Internet category! Forget Salon -- it's just like any other mainstream magazine -- and, like the rest of these magazines, will go belly up. We don't work for profit -- we work for truth as we see it.

That is why we deserve the Pulitzer.

God, next Sunday we have to wake up extra early -- 8 AM -- so about three one-hundreths of a percent of the population can watch the French Open.