Sex Smear Politics as "Mortification": A Georgewillian Notion

The "opinion elite" in Washington and New York are waiting with heated anticipation for Ken Starr's report to Congress. When the report appears, they will continue to explain that the American people still don't understand the gravity of the Lewinsky scandal, "Semenstain Gate." It is not about sex, they will explain, but about perjury, obstruction, and s-u-b-o-r-n-a-t-i-o-n, as if explaining the word it to an American people that just can't understand the complexity of it all. Then, out of duty, they will begin to wallow in the juicy details of the alleged sex acts and that is, of course, what this is all about.

Sex is private. Whatever the sex is, it becomes embarassing and humiliating when it is tabloidized. "Dirty" in the language of the puritan witch burning. In May, on This Week with Sam and Cokie -- a formerly interesting news discussion show now turned dirt-dishing tabloid -- George Will made a most open and explicit admission and proposal. Will announced that, since Clinton's approval still remained above 60% and there was little likelihood that he could be destroyed immediately, the Linda Tripp tapes should be played in Congress and broadcast to the American people, in order to punish the President with "mortification."

When Will started out with the idea of mortification, Clarence Page, a visiting member of the panel, suggested immediately putting Bill in stocks. Page's point when over Will's head. Will plunged ahead with his Georgewillian notion of political culture: if you cannot destroy your political opponent by normal political means, read off salacious allegations of his sex life in Congress and let the Washington "opinion elite" hound, hector, and heckle your opponent at every appearance (especially with foreign dignataries) with questions about oral sex.

For years, Will has posed as the champion of American civic virtue, the man who understands and explains to the ignorant masses the need for a politics of ideas and the need to reject the the "criminalization" of politics. But Will's proposal, which is the most open acknowledgement of the strategy of Ken Starr and his allies in the GOP and the Washington opinion elite, goes beyond criminalization of politics. It is a proposal that should give each citizen the "willies." The Georgewillian politics is this. Get someone to illegally tape allegations about a political opponent's sex life, find some legal excuse ("perjury" for not telling the full story in a civil suit in which the question of consensual sex was of absolutely no materiality whatsoever), and launch the sex inquisition. Court proceedings will be used as a pretext to leak sex tales to a tabloid trash magazine like Newsweek.

Of course, there will be no leaked allegations by old girlfriends or ex-wifes of members of the Washington opinon elite, such as Mr. Will, Cokie Roberts of the gloating smirk, Sam Donaldson of the relentless search for the semen stain at the heart of the universe. The dirt-dishers have a pact not to tell on one another,but perhaps in this day of open media and internet, they may not as safe as they think. I wonder how Will or Roberts would like their last, say, 75 sex acts examined in public?

At any rate, back to Mr. Will's verions of Jeffersonian Democracy. (Oops, Sally Hennings, forget Jefferson--Will and his crowd would have destroyed him). Each day in Congress, the allegations of the sex life of a prominent Senator, Representative, Governor, or President should be read out on the floor of Congress. The Congress will gasp in horror at the tales of sexual fluids and sexual acts, taken to completion or not taken to completion. Wolf Blitzer of CNN will demand, in the name of the parents of the alleged sexual partner, that the politician in question discuss in detail, in press conferences with Tony Blair, Netanyahu, Yeltsin, and other world leaders, the "blow by blow," as it were, details of the alleged sex.

And presidential elections? Why wait until after the election, when, as Mr. Will asserts, private character (a person's sex acts) determine his or her fitness to be a leader. Each candidate will be judged upon the leaked details of allegations about his or her sex life. Larry Klayman or Jesse Helms can issue a subpoena before a court or congress to every ex-lover or alleged ex-lover and and in election years Newsweek can devote itself exclusively to the alleged sex lives of candidates. Spouses should also testify. Starr respects no privileges (not even attorney client privilege). "Was it good, Mrs. Ashcroft?" No reason to allow spouses to avoid testifying on the single matter that determines fitness for office.

And of course it is not about sex, it is about the law. But then, most GOP right-wing dominated states have detailed sex laws in which the government tells consenting partners what organ they can put where under what circumstances, and outlaws just about everything but the missionary position. These laws include sex between spouses. So of course we will need to make sure that Senator John ("I will rid the world of the curse of oral sex") Ashcroft has never broken the sodomy laws in Georgia or any other state. Only way to know is for him to, in Orrin Hatch's words, "come forward" with a full description of every sex act.

George Will has defined his moment in history and his legacy. The Georgewillian sex-smear is the climax, as it were, of contribution to American political culture. For this reason, I am awarding George Will the "Semen Stained Dress Award," given to the public figure who offers enduring contributions in the area of wallowing in the alleged sex life of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in the name of duty, morality, honor, country, motherhood, and throwing stones. The award includes a full scale symbolic semen-stained dress. And when Mr. Will reads the Linda Tripp tapes on This Week with Cokie and Sam, he can wear it as his badge of honor.

-- Michael Sells