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Sunday, July 18, 1999 -- Washington/New York -- The Sabbath Gasbags circled the Kennedy clan -- particularly John F. Kennedy Jr., his wife and her sister, who remain officially "missing" as Pundit Pap goes to press.
To be honest, we didn't want to cover the death of JFK Jr. -- except to say, "We'll miss you, 'JohnJohn' and your constant reminder to us that public service is the greatest occupation one can choose."
But we decided early this Sunday morning to do just that -- mostly to point out how the bloodsuckers would attempt to profit from the high ratings they will get today for their coverage, no matter how outlandish, of this personal family tragedy.
We weren't surprised. But we are always disappointed that the American media can grovel in the tears of others as they look for any scrap of garbage to titillate the average trailer park denizen who watches their pap. No one "disappointed" us and acted civil.
William Safire, the undermining pig of a journalist who attempted to crucify every democrat from JFK to JFK Jr. said, at the invitation of Tim Russert, that John Jr. was "irresponsible" for flying to Cape Cod without more than a year of experience. And we saw more of the usual culprits: Fred "The Weasel" Barnes, slamming JFK Jr. on the neo-Nazi Fox Television Network; Doris Kearns Goodwin, the repulsive pop historian; Paul Begala, who had the gall to team up with Reagan-era felon Oliver North; Mike Barnacle, who has a place on the Cape; and Jack Germond, a pundit who hjas paid the price for honesty and who has covered everyone from Abe Lincoln to Bill Clinton.
They all showed their faces, they all spun their tales.
It was a televised Irish wake that wasn't a wake, but a pure lustfest to prove who was more "connected" to the Kennedys -- and another opportunity to appear on television, just one more time, playing to an audience boosted by fascination with the apparent death of another celebrity.
It was pure puke.
And every one of the pundit blabster hosts we were able to see had shifted into maximum dramatic mode, acting as if they were fretting over the loss -- when in fact they were playing the story for all it was worth, milking it for maximum ratings impact, as had the "Big 3" network anchors on Saturday.
The performance of all three anchors merits mention: Peter Jennings and Tom Brokaw seemed to be making the most effort to act as if they were "wringing their hands" along with the rest of America. Both were outclassed by Dan Rather, the one anchor who actually is close to a number of Kennedy family members. He was the first of the heavy hitters to go on the air -- just after 9 AM yesterday -- and ended his near-12-hour marathon anchor shift just before 9 PM yesterday nearly in tears. Of course it's about ratings -- but Rather outclassed all competition, playing down "America's royal family" in favor of more hard coverage of the search for JFK Jr. and family.
Here's the sick and soory Sunday feeding frenzy, play-by-play.
Fox News Sunday
Kennedys on Tony's Breakfast Menu
FNS was the first program to break with their scheduled coverage -- no theme music, the only lead-in being Tony Snow's "update" on the search for JFK's plane.
His first guest was Coast Guard Admiral Larabee, who gave an all-business assessment of the search, including the fact that a good deal of debris is washing up on the Gay Head beach at Martha's Vineyard -- but not much in the way of significant debris. A Fox News correspondent on Martha's Vineyard essentially reported the same thing, as another reported on "shades being opened" at the Kennedy compound.
The press just can't keep their noses out of the Kennedys' lives. We wouldn't blame the whole family for packing up and moving to some private island just to get away from these intrusive leeches.
Tony welcomed the first political guests, Kennedy family friend Michael Brown (son of Ron Brown, who died in a plane crash) and Jesse Jackson Jr.. There was a lot of talk about family, friends, keeping people strong. There was a noticeable undercurrent of "family values." Jesse expressed hope of "a rescue mission that is successful" as he praised JFK Jr.. The person.
Tony asked both guests about an "inherited legacy" in political families, and Brown, sounding like an evangelical minister, quoted the Bible as he talked about "inheriting the friends and enemies." Jesse was asked about the pressure of being the child of a famous parent.
What a put-down -- Jesse Jr.. is an elected official and, in today's media age, a de facto personality already!
Tony asked a put-down question about JFK Jr.. being a daredevil, and Brown played into it, spinning it into "taking risks" to succeed. Tony asked Jesse about JFK Jr.'s personality. And Jesse Jr.. talked about the pressure to fight huge expectations -- and "John recognized that." But we gagged when he said that JFK Jr.. "represented the hopes of an entire generation... [and] shed a light on our lives."
Puh-leeze. This sounds like copy out of People magazine.
Tony asked Brown if flying was a "typical" recreation for JFK Jr.. Right, Tony, spin the "spoiled rich kid" thing. Tony asked if Brown had a sense that "all eyes were not on you" when dining out with JFK Jr.. We just about gagged on our coffee.
This is journalism?
But we loved it -- this segment showed the worst tendencies of Fox News to "tabloidize" everything.
The spots -- for ADM, Gateway, and a pro-"mangled care" spot by the "Coalition for Quality Health Care" (read: The Coalition for an HMO Bill of Rights and Rip-offs) -- were all preceded by the "toned-down" version of the Fox News theme reserved for somber occasions. We couldn't help but chuckle at this "manufactured" tragedy.
Tony welcomed Clinton-basher Sen. Joe Lieberman (alleged D-CT), and asked how a family "deals with a crisis like this." Lieberman blathered about religious faith and the "strength" of Rose Kennedy; "...it's in a way an inspiration." Tony, trying to be Barbara Walters, asked how Lieberman would talk to Ted Kennedy. Lieberman said something about "reaching across party lines" -- yet more evidence that he's really not a Democrat.
Juan Williams recounted various Kennedy deaths and asked Lieberman if "these people are addicted to risk." Oh, we see -- a CHARACTER flaw! That accounts for why they're so "liberal." Lieberman whined that "accidents happen." Juan made a snide comment about none of the Kennedys "rising" to JFK Sr.'s level, and Lieberman reminded Juan of Bobby and Ted's careers -- and praised Ted for his support of various bills, including the Patients' Bill of Rights.
Mara said some nonsense about "the way he [JFK Jr..] lived his life" -- pronouncing him dead! Lieberman praised George magazine. We can only guess he hasn't read that train-wreck of a periodical. "He was, after all, John F. Kennedy Jr.. He attained that princely status... Through his demeanor."
Gag me with an orb and sceptre! We are sick to death of these "royal family" comparisons. Besides, America's REAL royal family is the Bush clan -- following in the tradition of Machiavelli's The Prince.
Fred "The Weasel" Barnes asked Joe to assess JFK Jr.. the potential political candidate. We couldn't help imagining Barnes "getting off" on the endless opposition research he'd be spouting if only JFK Jr.. would run.
Tony ended the hand-wringing by recounting a very funny anecdote involving his entrance into a Gridiron club event -- with JFK Jr.. right behind him.
It was a fully wasted half-hour.
Following more spots -- Oracle, Morningstar Farms, Toyota, and a bunch of local spots, preceded the appearance of stealth segregationist Trent Lott. Tony made reference to Clinton's swipe at "compassionate conservatives" and Lott started in with his grandiose scheme to "give back" a third of the surplus to his constituents -- rich taxpayers. He also tried to spin Clinton's killing of the Medicare commission and claimed -- lying -- that Clinton was out to increase taxes.
Whose taxes, Lott?
Lott accused Clinton of "being a demagogue... Americans are overtaxed... [we want] a broad-based tax cut.... [the surplus] will be frittered away on one Clinton-Gore program after another."
Right, Trent, you cracker -- because Americans WANT it "frittered away." They're also not too keen on more "tax cuts" that give tons of cash to the rich and ten or twenty bucks to the average Jane and Joe. Trent would rather keep taxes high by not dealing with the debt, insuring a huge burden for the poor and middle-class while maintaining givebacks to his rich owners.
Tony said that Clinton will veto the HMO... E, Patient Bill of Rights, but that Lott thinks a deal is doable. This gave Trent the opening he wanted to say that he was ready to negotiate -- if Clinton will go with Medical Savings Accounts, an insurance scam that big GOP contributor Golden Rule has been trying to force down Americans' throats.
Tony: ":China's making threatening noises towards Taiwan."
And vice-versa, Tony -- don't you read the newspapers?
Trent went on a China-bashing rant -- then, after prompting from Tony, announced <I>more</I> China hearings. "We're trying to fix the problem, stop the leaks."
Gee, Trent, you had your chance during the Reagan and Bush Administrations -- why the wait?
"They've been stealing information from our nuclear labs." Hey, Trent -- this has not been proven. Your saying this is essentially another lie.
Tony asked Trent if he'd attempt to break John McCarran's filibuster on a campaign finance reform bill, and it sounded like he was going to try. He called the bill "not the solution... Unilateral disarmament by the Republicans." Ha, ha, ha -- as if the Dems want to "disarm"!
Spots from First Union, IBM, and local spots preceded panel time -- and they stuck to politics! Juan said that Dems "have the winning hand" on the tax issue, but "tax cuts are going to play well." Mara disagreed -- saying that tax cuts "don't play well" and that education and health care were hotter issues. Tony "couldn't resist" bringing up Fox Opinion Dynamics poll numbers -- no wonder, they usually skew right!
But this time, the numbers said tax cuts were NOT the top issue for average Americans. Naturally, The Weasel Barnes said "I don't believe the polls." Of course, he didn't "believe" the polls last November either, predicting the GOP would gain in both houses of Congress. Fred is, as always, pandering to his hard-right pals.
Juan found it unbelievable that "we're talking a surplus" when there is a "deficit." Wrong -- it's a debt!
Tony turned to a story we knew he'd bring up -- about the Corporation for Public Broadcasting providing mailing lists to the Democratic Party. Fred claimed that PBS tilts liberal -- which is nonsense -- and Juan implied that it would be an attack on Big Bird. Mara pointed out that one station gave the list to Republicans -- a fact about which even the "liberal" press has said next to nothing.
We ignored some nattering about an impending baseball umpire's strike -- but enjoyed Fred's fretting over the defection of Rep. Michael Forbes to the Dems. Mara said it would have an effect on the balance of power in the House, and Juan -- casting President Clinton as "Slick Willy" -- talked about Clinton meeting <I>twice</I> with Forbes to convince him to jump ship despite the fact that Forbes voted for all four articles of impeachment!
Tony's final word was on Kennedy hard luck and American triumph -- JFK Jr. et al disappearing thirty years to the day after man landed on the moon. Tony made much of Neil Armstrong "muffing" the line "That's one small step for a man" -- but following a replay of JFK Sr.'s famous "We shall send a man to the moon" speech, Tony concluded by saying, "We did something utterly outrageous... We soared to the stars."
This Week 
Gone Golfing in Major Markets!
This Weak was preempted -- by coverage of some golf game in Scotland!
Sam and Cokie were scheduled to discuss the "race for campaign cash" with Steve Forbes, John Kasich and John McCain -- but we're sure that they must have been doing their finest hand-wringing act to try to convince the viewers that they are earnest, honest journalists while not being too mean (for once) to the Kennedys.
But we'll never know, because our local ABC affiliate would rather "play games" than cover issues.
CNN Reliable Sources
Much on John. Some on George. Nothing worth repeating -- except Bernard Kalb's frustration of "wall-to-wall" coverage of the JFK Jr. disappearance until there's some resolution.
We wish he'd "followed through" and talked about the inevitable and sickening Diana-style "media mourning" which will no doubt run nonstop until a week or two after the Kennedys are buried.
The McLaugh-In Group
Missing!
Our local NBC affiliate carried live coverage of the disappearance of the entire McLaughlin Group. It was being reported that John McLaughlin had accidentally piloted his show into heavy coverage of the Kennedy clan and that his program "disappeared from the radar," possibly as a result of Arianna Huffington not being on the panel this week.
The Texas Air National Guard, the psychiatric wing of Walter Reed Hospital, and General Electric are coordinating a search effort as Pundit Pap goes to press.
Face the Nation
Reeves Chews on Kennedys 
Discussion on tax cuts and the presidential run was pre-empted by the news on JFK Jr.
Bob Schieffer's guests were Bob Shrum, Kennedy family advisor, Harrison Rainie, author of Growing Up Kennedy, and the contemptuous Richard Reeves who calls himself a "presidential historian."
 Richard Reeves |
There were quite a few men vying for the "putrid mouth" title today, and Mr. Reeves -- who demonstrated very little decency as he took it upon himself to criticize, even if subtly at times, the Kennedy family during what is obviously a dreadful weekend for them -- certainly did his part to take the award today.
Talk about sharks.
Eat the Prez
The Ultimate in Sunday Bottom-Feeding!
Naturally, Tim Russert began with some nobody -- correspondent Bob Hager, talking about the fact that JFK Jr. was a "new" pilot. Thus far, this "Princess Die" coverage has not revealed one person attacking the plane's manufacturer -- Piper -- for making a plane that might have been faulty.
Not that Piper is known for this -- their reputation suggests just the opposite -- but we point this out to illustrate how the media operates today.
The only thing they have focused on concerning the crash was JFK's lack of flying experience and the "difficulty" he "might" have had landing the plane because of "problems" differentiating the horizon from the ocean (both are blue).
Russert then went to a Coast Guard Admiral to pump him for more news -- there was none -- then to David Gregory, another NBC shark whose usual beat is hanging out in front of the White House hoping the President would swallow a pistol in humiliation. This time his is in Hyannisport, hoping to spot a Kennedy weeping with the grief of 60 years of tragedy.
It is purely sick -- and sickening.
"Have you seen any family members?... Will they gather?"
"Everyone is holed up inside."
Then who did Russert turn to? Repugnant pop historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, who had her stupid observations to offer.
Next came Mike Barnacle, best known for making up stories for the Boston Globe and then being fired for it. He seemed to be trying a comeback by talking about the Kennedys as if he were one of them.
As they all talked, we are certain that the Kennedys know where the plane is. The bodies have probably already been recovered, and all has been hidden from the press, we hope, in wise and wonderful fashion by the Kennedy family. The media -- sick as they are -- continue to make themselves just a little more infamous this day over the bodies of three young American "beautiful people."
Douglas Brinkley, an editor of the moronic George magazine -- a stupid yuppie-style rag that has little to do with real politics and more to do with selling expensive Madison Avenue/Rodeo Drive clothing -- got on to eulogize a man still not pronounced dead. George without John will not survive. It was John.
Then Russert had the gall to welcome the nauseating William Safire a paid hit man and perpetual apologist for the Nixon White House and the late 2Oth Century ultra-right. Safire said does not see a curse -- he exploited the element of risk. He saw the uncles "taking risk" at war and in politics. He said, "When you look at this tragic accident, somebody who has flown for one year, and hardly soloed, is unacceptable risk." Safire, as usual, acted like -- and please excuse us, but we have to say it -- a piece of shit.
Russert quotes El Mundo, the Spanish newspaper, who said the Kennedys had everything... but the luck to enjoy it.
Jack Germond, our personal favorite pundit, said George was really a John Kennedy rationalization for attacks that it is nothing more than People magazine.
It is. But so what? Germond said that "for us" in the political press, his disappearance is a terrible shock, that even this has gone sour.
Russert then showed JFK Jr's self-deprecating humor as he made fun of himself for failing his first bar exam. Doris Goodwin -- who loves to be a Kennedy "insider" as well -- told some "insider" story followed by another story about talking to Jackie.
Mike Barnacle, thank God, attacked the snide Safire for saying what he did. "He was an aggressively normal young guy. He could have used his fame for anything he wanted. He chose not to, but instead to try and do something good." Barnicle would have punched Safire had he been in the studio instead of stalking the Kennedys.
Again, we ask The New York Times to fire Safire and to have him removed from the Pulitzer Committee, a committee he disgraces with his membership.
Then Jack Germond lost us by trying, weakly, to defend the swinish Safire. Jack, why did you bother?
Russert asked Safire whether JFK Jr. could have been a good politician. Safire said, "He had it -- everything that the Nixon people hated -- and beat." He just won't stop. He also added, hopefully, "I hope his magazine won't go down with him."
Paul Begala was on as well. He felt that JFK Jr. would have run someday, but just wanted to make sure that he did things on his own terms. Brinkley agreed. Brinkley seemed to be saying that George is a failure. He remarked that perhaps JFK Jr. would have merged it into another magazine.
Barnacle said that he has no idea whether JFK would have run. Russert rattled on about being an Irish Catholic. Doris said the huge family keeps the story going. She then namedropped again -- this time, Rose Kennedy, who said she was absolutely convinced that her dead children would have changed nothing about their lives.
Russert then asked whether covering a Kennedy was different. Jack Germond says yes -- it was extraordinary. He was in the Ambassador Hotel the night that Bobby Kennedy was shot.
So was our own Jeff Koopersmith. He will tell you -- that was some night.
Paul Begala's memory of JFK Jr.? He talked about a hyperventilating secretary in his office.
"The last time I talked to John Jr. ..." Oh, please.
Brinkley talked about the honorary doctorate from University of Maryland that John Jr. refused because he felt he did not earn it.
That's the John Jr. we will remember as well.
Then Russert brings out a "moonshot" memo that Safire wrote just in case our astronauts died on the moon. He read the words Safire wrote. Safire talked about the moon mission. He said NASA was very worried about what the U.S. would do for the widows. Of course, Nixon would have given that speech.
We think Safire should have written one like it for Pat Nixon to read on the political death of her felon husband.
Bill Safire also wrote the wording of plaque which now sits on the moon -- complete with HIS grammatical error! Well, of course, this should be no surprise -- after all, we've been telling you what a hateful moron he is for years now.
Russert then played a taped interview with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak. Should the U.S. be an ally or an honest broker? Barak says we should be an ally -- but not a broker sensitive to the Palestinians. He quoted Clinton saying he would like it if the Palestinians could live wherever they wanted to. Barack said no way.
We don't blame him -- the Palestinians would be bombing pre-schools if they had a chance.
Barak is much more of a hard-line than the world thought when he defeated Netanyahu.
Russert wants to know how long it will take to achieve a permanent peace. To our surprise, Barack actually answered him, saying fifteen months.
Jeez, Louise! Why not fourteen or sixteen months, or five hundred years?
Russert then showed some Meet the Press video clips of JFK Jr. You can imagine.
Making money off the death of one unlucky man who lost his Dad to people like Safire and his fellow hatemongers -- that is what you should remember this day.
Copyright © 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, American Politics Journal Publications.
