April 8, 1999 -- St. Paul, Minnesota -- As you all know by now, Judge Susan Webber Wright did the totally expected -- and not totally sensible -- thing and cited Bill Clinton for contempt over testimony that she herself struck from the record in a case that she later judged to be meritless -- and which most legal experts said should never have been allowed to be solicited, as even a brain-dead wombat knew it was part of an illegal effort to create a perjury trap.

But then, what else would one expect from someone who should have recused herself from the case in the first place (but didn't) because she actively hated Clinton's guts? The only reason she threw out the Jones case was because she was legally compelled to do so; not tossing it would have opened her up to the very real possibility of being removed from the bench.

Here's what makes this contempt ruling particularly silly:

In January of 1998, Judge Wright herself complained to the Jones team, during the taking of the Clinton deposition, that the definition of sex they were using was so confusing that not only did she not understand it, she doubted the President could understand it either!

In order to lie (much less commit perjury), you have to understand that you are lying. This whole scene was caught on videotape. It was shown to the House Judiciary Committee, and the world, by Abbe Lowell last year.

I wonder if Judge Wright will allow the Jones team to get away with its flagrant violations of her gag orders as well as with their illegally colluding with Starr's OIC to create the perjury trap which she now faults the President for falling prey to -- and which she herself struck from the court records once she realized what it was.

Perhaps you all should ask her that question.

Judge Wright's secretary's phone number is (501) 324-5422. Her clerk's phone number is (501) 324-5428. Remember to be polite when you call; no swearing, please.

However, Judge Wright's ruling, played up as it has been by Big Media, is not as bad as it could have been. Since it was a civil ruling, not a criminal one, she is limited to meting out fines, forcing Clinton to pay court costs, and at very worst taking away his law license. It's likely that Clinton will, in an effort to finally be free and clear of this mess, simply pony up to the Rutherford greedheads and walk away. Fine.

All in all, yesterdaythought he would be able was far worse to Ken Starr than to Bill Clinton.

Of the three counts brought against Susan McDougal by Starr's OIC, one of them -- the obstruction-of-justice count, the most important one -- was defeated outright, and the jury, which had been trying to find a way to vote Susan innocent on the two contempt charges, deadlocked on those two. Starr's boys made noises about wanting to appeal, but they don't dare -- not after what Julie Hiatt Steele did to them on the stand.

Speaking of Ms. Steele, steel is certainly what she is made of.

The whole reason Starr filed charges against her -- besides the fact that he is a petty, revenge-filled jerk -- was to keep her from testifying on Susan McDougal's behalf. He figured that her lawyers would advise her, for her own legal protection, not to appear so that her own case is not jeopardized when it comes to trial.

But she went right ahead and testified for Susan anyway.

Ms. Steele, like Susan McDougal and Sidney Blumenthal, has learned that you are damned if you do and damned if you don't when you go up against Starr. Once you are caught in his net, the only thing that makes sense is to fight like gangbusters.

And the fact that Susan was -- with Ms. Steele's help -- able to defeat Ken Starr at his own vile game will indeed help Ms. Steele's case when it finally comes before the courts.

Ken Starr thought he would be able to punish Susan McD. and Julie S. for daring to stand up to him. Instead, he is now locked onto a track that will inevitably lead to his deep embarrassment and humiliation at best, and his disbarment and a prison sentence at worst. Ms. Steele is now in an excellent position to defend herself, as she helped Susan set one heck of a precedent on her behalf.

And the best thing about all of this is that it will drag on well into the year 2000 election campaigns -- just in time to discredit those House Manager thugs who keep prattling about the "rule of law".