Rumble Under the Dome

Rumble Under the Dome

Thursday, April 10th 1997 — Senior House staffers are selling tickets to the upcoming "Rumble Under the Dome" in the wake of a near fist fight that broke out yesterday on the carpeted floor of the House of Representatives. Featured contenders are Republican Whip Tom DeLay of Texas and super-Democrat David Obey of Wisconsin.

The challenger, Dave "Cheesehead" Obey stalked across the aisle Wednesday, entering GOP turf and clenching a battered newspaper article. Witnesses thought Obey would slap Tommy "The Whip" DeLay thus signifying the age-old challenge to a duel. However, DeLay, not to be undone, turned on Obey and, with both arms, shoved him away, shrieking something about hearings on campaign finance abuses.

But the deed was done. Aides swept over the them in a hysterical effort to separate the battling duo with DeLay having to be dragged off.

Obey's trainer, Hillary "Boom Boom" Clinton, was furious saying, "The Whip will meet his end when the Rumble begins." Clinton added that "Cheesehead" will be on a doubled workout schedule at his training facility -- "Camp David" starting this weekend.

DeLay manager, Newt "The Porker" Gingrich whispered, "So that's why they call it Camp David."