Paula Jones' Neck Snapped By Judge Wright - The Nation Celebrates!
Susan Webber Wright Pulls the Ultimate April Fool's Joke on Gold-Diggers, Whores and Others Who Seek Fortune at the Feet of Power.
"We have to stick to the core issues here... ," wrote Judge Susan Webber Wright as she snapped the neck of Paula Jones and every freak behind her in their collective quest to destroy the Clinton Presidency, his family and friends, past lovers and thrill seekers for profit. Already pundits are positing that Ken Starr's seat just got hotter -- and they are so right.
"Even a most charitable reading [of the Jones pleadings] fails to show establishment of a claim," wrote Judge Wright.
"The plaintiff has failed to demonstrate that she has a case to bring before a jury," she added.
Aside from blaming her gold-digging self, Jones has no one better to blame that the "Reverend John Whitehead," dean of the slimy "Rutherford Institute" -- pushers of a dirty attack when other, smarter lawyers dropped her like the hot and stale potato she is.
The President's lawyer, Bob Bennett, appeared at 4:46 Eastern Standard Time and said he was very pleased that Judge Wright's opinion was so strong and powerful. "It is clearly the right decision and Judge Wright should be complimented on her courage to make the right decision. She is right on the law and right on the facts... I spoke to the President just a few minutes ago and -- you don't need a PhD in the obvious -- he's quite pleased."
Already the right-wingers are saying this will chill the atmosphere for women who are truly sexually molested. Oh gosh! Dee Dee Meyers says she was "truly surprised" but also said that even the Jones lawyers said they would never win in a court of law. That's news to us, Ms. Meyers -- but we'll take your word for it. Maybe.
Slimeball self-proclaimed political consultant Mr. Jay Severin, who seems to live at MSNBC and claims to be a "political guru", looked stunned this afternoon, as did Tim Russert, who almost stuttered his surprise -- and embarrassment -- at Judge Webber's decision, which makes him appear the over rated goodball he really is.
Mike McCurry, at exactly 5:00 PM EST, reported that the President thought Attorney Bennett was playing an April Fool's Trick on him when Bennett called him in Africa to tell the President the news just minutes after Judge Wright's decision was released. The President shared the news with his wife immediately and at the time both were on their way to enjoy a little shopping. Maybe a lot of shopping!
As usual, Sam Donaldson was screaming and whining his frantic questions at McCurry. McCurry remained the epitome of coolness and matter-of-factness as Donaldson saw his career dissolving before his eyes.
"Let's go to dinner," McCurry said, trying to cut off the questions and let things lie.
"He is pleased to have received the vindication he has longed awaited for," was the lead from McCurry -- which he repeated more than once.
Reporters in the White House were stunned and seemed disappointed that this edge of their story seemed to be submerging beneath the waves. It was a pathetic display with only a few "real" reporters asking about the potential of the President's trip to Africa.
Some idiot actually asked, "For the record, does the president deny his sexual harassment of Paula Jones?"
"Asked and answered," snapped McCurry, and he moved on. "Let's finish this up. Asked and answered," he said to Sam Donaldson over and over again as the moronic Donaldson repeatedly kept asking the same questions!
The funniest pundit on television, John Gibson -- who's nicknamed "The Ghoul" in myriad internet chat rooms -- tried to save his miserable face as well.
"Congratulations to Mr. Bennett for a job well done. I guess this means there never was a Paula Jones case," said Attorney Ginsburg -- Monica Lewinsky's lawyer. He then turned on his heels and walked away, smiling.
It really did take courage for Judge Wright to rule correctly here. Her own Judicial career could be affected -- especially if Republicans keep control of the Senate and its powerful Judiciary Committee. Although Judge Wright's current job is safe, any possibility for elevation could be dampened by the stung GOP, who still haven't forgiven Democrats for Watergate.
The Judge rejected the claim that there was an "assault" of Paula Jones -- and rejected that this was all that her attorneys would have to prove.
"The Ghoul" John Gibson said on MSNBC that the judge probably ruled because she was infuriated by the Jones efforts to fool the court by submitting in their pleadings a story -- which they knew to be false -- that the President had raped someone 20 years ago. All the "Ghoul" wanted to know from the NBC reporter in Senegal was "Is there some celebration going on in Senegal, are they jubilant about this thinking that this is the end of this thing?"
"The Ghoul" then spoke to Michael Isikoff -- one of the slimy reporters who stands to get his walking papers from Newsweek any minute now for his non-stop attacks on the White House. Isikoff, who also "lives" at MSNBC, had few facts to support his stories. Gambling his entire career on bringing down this President, Isikoff is one frightened almost-millionaire.
So here is Isikoff telling John Gibson that this doesn't mean much because the Judge did not rule on the core allegations of the case. Of course, this is a total lie. The Judge specifically stated that Jones failed to prove even a small possibility that anything she alleged was truly tortious. In other words, even if everything she alleged WAS true -- there was no case!
Isikoff, of course, wrapped it up as a stunning victory for the White House -- to try and cover his butt.
Susan Carpenter McBimbo spoke to the press, quickly. She looked even more haggard than usual and continually sighed like a classic manic depressive. Well, why not? Her career, too, is over. No more can she play 50's feminine pimp to Paula Jones. Who would touch her? We ask you.
McBimbo said, "I have not spoken at length with" the lawyers -- "they are trying to understand what's going on [we bet], but they will probably be before the Supreme Court again [sure!], (sigh, sigh, sigh). I'm going down to Paula's, I may come out to talk to you again. We are extremely surprised (sigh)." McBimbo started in the worst possible manner by saying that Judge Wright "was wrong, had been wrong before, blah, blah , blah." What a dunce! Now she's angering every Federal Judge in the nation! Really smart, McBimbo.
Ha, ha, haha!!!! It couldn't get better.
"The court will enter judgement dismissing the case," wrote Judge Wright in the conclusion of her ruling. She said that there was nothing to support Jones' claim that her career was hurt, and there was nothing to show there was an "assault." She rejected that Jones was denied access to an appeals process when she lost her job and, on the key issue of "suppression of evidence," she said that other evidence of other women does not change the fact that Paula Corbin Jones could not establish her own case.
"The Ghoul," who actually thinks he has a scintilla of a mind, came on MSNBC once again trying to rescue Isikoff, "This doesn't 'dry clean' the President" -- TRANSLATION: Hey Mike, save me I'm drowning. Ken Starr can get him... can't he?"
Typical John Gibson -- a hatchet man for the ultra right. He shouldn't be allowed a single moment more of air time. Isikoff was actually stuttering in his response and clearly was backing away from his usual "Get Clinton" persona.
Isikoff comes out again on Lewinsky -- citing his "private" source and going on to say this unbelievable statement: "Ken Starr almost has an obligation to pursue this to the end... " TRANSLATION: "If Starr doesn't prove something I'll be selling magazines rather than writing for them." What Isikoff and his lesser henchmen like "The Ghoul" and Jay Severin are doing is O.J.ing the President -- suggesting he is guilty even though the judge threw Jones and her posse out of court. So now the line of the ultra-right is this:
"Well, Jones lost on a technicality, but we really don't know whether Clinton 'did it' or not. Now it's up to Ken Starr to prove it."
But Isikoff is wrong, and his line won't work. As far as "the people" are concerned, the case is over. Not only Jones' case, but Starr's as well. Starr will get less and less support, even from his biggest boosters in the GOP. Attention is turning toward November and the elections. Republicans don't want to be dragged under again.
They will cut bait, much as Trent Lott tried to do last month by telegraphing to Starr that he better "put up or shut up" pretty darn quick. Lott was rolled over the coals by the real idiots in his party and had to recant. But his words were a harbinger of what's to come -- a landslide of rats deserting the Starr ship.
We couldn't be more pleased.
- The Editors
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", a client, a friend, and one of the keenest minds in American politics, told me one afternoon: 'A good place to begin thinking critically about American and Western European democracies to ask yourself: What kind of man or woman would choose to run for public office? Think about that.' - I did."
- Eliot Janeway ,1991 New York
From an Introduction to JK's essay and speech, "Washington - The New American Babylon"
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