TelevangeTubbie Jerry Falwell "Comes Out"

Wednesday, February 10, 1999 -- Goofy televangelist Jerry Falwell has pulled a Dan Quayle -- he's gone off the deep end and on the attack, criticizing a fictitious television character.

However, unlike the erudite Mr. Quayle, who criticized Murphy Brown's values, Rev. Falwell has decided to "out" Teletubbie Tinky-Winky on the thinnest of circumstantial cases.

You'd almost think that Falwell wanted to be a House Manager!

But I digress.

Here's the skinny: the latest issue Falwell's National Liberty Journal contains an article claiming that Tinky may be a subliminal gay role model, because:

Falwell's latest declaration follows less than a month after his claim that the Antichrist will be a Jewish male, and may be alive -- but is not Alan Dershowitz or Geraldo Rivera, in a clarification made a couple weeks back on Rivera Live.

The Doc would suggest that if Rev. Falwell is so profoundly concerned about our children, then he should drop whatever he is doing and "come out" as a TelevangeTubbie to set a good example for pre-literate preschoolers across our great nation.

I can almost see it now, on the Christian Broadcasting Network...

"Time for TelevangeTubbies! Time for TelevangeTubbies!"

"Over the hills and far away,
TelevangeTubbies make you pay,
Flogging fear as they gay-bash,
To twist your arm for piles of cash."

Face it -- if Jerry wants to get his "fans" in the habit of mailing those checks, he's got to start educating them early!

'Nuff said.

-- Dave "Doctor" Gonzo