by Dave "Doctor" Gonzo
January 29, 1998 --- New York (APJP) -- When James "Ol' Swampfungus" Carville fired the first salvo in the Clinton counteroffensive against allegations of sexual wrongdoings this Sunday on Meet the Press, it created a major press buzz -- as did Hillary Clinton's appearances on NBC's Today Show and ABC's Good Morning America.
Among the many comments coming from the Carville, Mrs. Clinton, and the President's other staunch defenders including Paul Begala are attacks on (allegedly) Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr for using "Gestapo tactics" by putting self-proclaimed secret agent and Clinton Haters Team all-star Linda Tripp (who looks like the "before" picture in a WeightWatchers ad) up to taping White House intern Monica Lewinsky.
The Doc, having been busy burning the candle at both ends all week, was finally able to take a breather and intelligently ponder this provocative and controversial assertion.
It will probably shock and horrify many of you to learn that The Doc cannot agree at all that "Gestapo tactics" are anywhere close to an accurate description of Starr's actions, particularly when applied to the Tripp tapes brouha, ha.
A more apt comparison would be to Colonel Klink and Sergeant Schultz from Hogan's Heroes.
No wonder Clinton's smiling --
with enemies like these, who wouldn't? 
Somehow, an important angle of the Tripp-wire story which led yours truly to the above comparison has failed to appear on the radar of the mainstream press: the fact that Tripp may have violated a Maryland wiretap law when secretly recorded phone conversations with Lewinsky, rendering the tapes useless as court evidence and making Starr look like the rank amateur prosecutor he is.
On Monday, Maryland State's Attorney Marna McLendon called "Malibu" Ken Starr to inform him of this major Bozo no-no: surreptitious taping of phone conversations is a felony under Maryland's wiretap laws. McLendon told Reuters on Monday that "I'd been asked to look into and investigate potential violations by Ms. Tripp. Absolutely there are potential violations."
Since there are no statutes of limitations, Maryland will sit back and wait until the completion of Starr's investigation before they look into criminal wrongdoings by Tripp. She'll just have to hope that her longtime "bud" Ken can find even more ways to drag his feet and waste money, because the Maryland case could prove to be robust -- unlike even Starr's best efforts into this politically convoluted "expansion" of the Whitewater investigation.
You'd think Ken would've warned her in advance that she might get into a little trouble: Tripp would face up to five years in the slammer and a $10,000 fine. But then, with a book agent like Lucy Ann Goldberg, Tripp could probably land a book deal to cover the fines. But she'd better find a ghostwriter -- Goldberg couldn't find a home for her first two books because they were so poorly written.
But even more embarrassing than Tripp's legal gaffe -- and Starr's failure to make sure his "mole" was in the legal clear -- are serious problems for Ken related to the credibility of Lewinsky.
Numerous acquaintances of Lewinsky have come forward to question her overall believability on subjects not having to do with anyone named Clinton. Others describe intensely obsessive behavior. She is alleged to have forged a document on Lewis & Clark College stationery so an acquaintance would continue to receive unemployment benefits. A married man with whom she had a long-term affair only adds to the questionable impression Lewinsky is starting to leave.
Stop and think -- Starr should have decided to investigate Lewinsky earlier on,. He might have been tipped off, and known better than to rely so heavily on this young woman as "proof" of Presidential "wrongdoing."
Now Starr is trying to question members of the President's Secret Service entourage. Didn't he know that secrecy regulations would seriously hamper his ability to do this? Does this guy think that spinning his own wheels makes him look any smarter?
Looking at these -- among the many other problems Starr has endured -- it boggles the mind that he would have dragged out negotiations with Lewinsky's attorney for so long knowing that she's essentially damaged goods.
But then you start to realize that it all fits into a pattern: Starr, despite his many connections to the right-wing, is no Gestapo dude but one of those affable, bumbling "good" Nazis!
'Nuff said.
As we were going to press, word came that U.S. District Judge Susan Webber Wright, who is overseeing the Paula Jones civil trial, has ruled against Ken Starr: waiting for Lewinsky "affair" evidence to develop is not adequate cause for delaying the Jones trial slated for May. Judge Wright determined such a delay "not essential to the core issues in this case.''
© 1998, American Politics Journal Publications Inc.