FOR MALIBU!!!!
WEDNESDAY JANUARY 21ST 1998-NEW YORK -- We had to laugh out loud this morning reading Matt Drudge's world wide Dick Scaife paid for "exclusive" where he tried to finger President Clinton with the latest desperate attempt by "independent" prosecutor 'Malibu Ken' Starr to save his job at the beautiful Malibu campus of Pepperdine University - playschool of the surf crowd and, well, the home of not the most serious law school in the nation.
Starr has now asked Janet Reno to give him poste haste authority to investigate the following hilarious story:
Here's Drudge's version with ours beneath each of his lines IN RED CAPS. We've also highlighted Matt's "safety" -- saftey as in getting sued by White House officials for lying -- words to help you see through the story in BLUE .We sent it to him this morning --
Matt Drudge, disguised, at his secret Hollywood location is hooked to Dick Scaife's private scandal satellite.
MATT:
Let us "SPIN"TERPRET this for you! OUR INTERPRETATION IN RED CAPS
"CONTROVERSY SWIRLS AROUND TAPES OF FORMER WHITE HOUSE INTERN, AS STARR MOVES IN!"
"MALIBU KEN STARR TRIES TO REVIVE HIS TIRED OLD INVESTIGATION BEFORE BECOMING THE BIGGEST LAUGHING STOCK IN LEGAL HISTORY"
**World Exclusive** HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD. EXCLUSIVE
**Must Credit the DRUDGE REPORT**
MUST CREDIT AP, REUTERS, AND THE WASHINGTON POST AS WELL AS MATT FOR SENDING HIS INTERPRETATION OF THEIR STORY TO US
Federal investigators are now in possession of intimate taped conversations of a former White House intern, age 23, discussing details of her alleged sexual relationship with President Clinton, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.
A LEFTOVER FROM THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION WHO ILLEGALLY WORE A WIRE TO TAPE THE PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS WITH HER 'FRIEND' -- A TYPICAL GOP GESTAPO PLOY
The tapes were made by a federal employee who has been granted immunity. MORE
YEAH, GRANTED IMMUNITY BY A NUT LIKE DAN BURTON WHO SHOOTS AT CANTALOUPES IN HIS INDIANA BACKYARD TO "PROVE" BILL AND HILLARY CLINTON MURDERED VINCE FOSTER - HA
According to sources
(CHRIS RUDDY, MADAM BOLIVIA -TAROT CARD READER, AND DICK SCAIFE HER SON)
in and out of government, Whitewater independent
(SURF BOY)
counsel Kenneth Starr became involved in the situation when he
(REALIZED HE COULD SAVE HIS SORRY PREPPY ASS)
received intelligence that senior administration officials may have offered federal jobs to a young woman in an effort to prevent stories from going public on
(RIGHT - IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY!)
stories involving sexual episodes that allegedly occurred in a room off the Oval Office.
(OF COURSE MR CLINTON'S FAV SCORES ROSE ANOTHER 30 POINTS AS REPUBLICANS FAIL TO GET IT ONCE AGAIN -- AMERICANS LOVE CADS - REAL OR NOT)
"Starr is not on the bimbo beat," one source close to the situation (Chris Ruddy?) told the DRUDGE REPORT late Tuesday. "He's looking at a potential for obstruction of justice charges.
" CORRECTION. STARR 'IS' THE BIMBO BEAT. ASK HIM ABOUT WHAT HE DID DURING HIS LAST LAYOVER IN CALIFORNIA.
A breakfast meeting that took place at The Watergate Hotel has attracted the attention of investigators. (HUH?)
AS HAS EVERY MEETING EVER HELD THAT INVOLVED EVEN THE CLEANING STAFF AT THE WHITE HOUSE. THAT'S WHY YOU, THE TAXPAYER ARE PICKING UP THE MORE THAN $100 MILLION TAB FOR THIS GOP WITCH HUNT THAT WILL RESULT IN THE INDICTMENTS OF MR. GINGRICH AND MR. BARBOUR AS WELL AS MR. GROVER NORQUIST.
The development has completely consumed high-level (Low Level scum in) Washington, with Starr's investigators working past midnight in recent days.
SURE. COMPLETELY CONSUMED THEM... THEY READ IT IN THE POST, LAUGHED, AND WENT ON WITH BREAKFAST.
HERE'S ANOTHER LAUGH FROM MATT!
Developing...
PLOTTING
> > X X X X X > > WHITE HOUSE DAILY PRESS BRIEFING SNAPSHOT > TUE 1/20/98 19:45 UTC
> > SAM DONALDSON: Someone said that you or someone here has put out the word > that staffers should not be allowed to log onto the DRUDGE REPORT
DID SAM PUT THAT IN CAPS AS HE SPOKE THE WORDS -- DID HE SCREAM IT?
. Is that true?
SAM DONALDSON - DEMOTED TO WHITE HOUSE FLUNKEY BECAUSE HIS SHOW -- THIS WEEK -- IS A JOKE ASKED WHETHER ANOTHER REPORTER (AT LEAST MORE ENTERTAINING THAN SAM) WAS THE SUBJECT OF A WHITE HOUSE BOYCOTT. WELL, WE CAN TELL YOU EVERYONE READS DRUDGE -- SORT OF LIKE WE READ "MAD MAGAZINE" AND "THE NATIONAL LAMPOON" AS FRESHMAN IN COLLEGE -- FOR LAUGHS.
> > MCCURRY: I -- I don't discuss that subject.
MCCURRY: DON'T MAKE ME PUKE SAM. YOU'RE ALREADY ON THIN ICE WITH ABC.
> > DONALDSON: What? Whether you have put out the word that you can't log on?
HAHAHA - DONALDSON OUGHT TO GET THAT RUG OUT OF HIS EARS, MAYBE THERE'S ANOTHER CONDO AVAILABLE AT OUR BUDDY DWAYNE ANDREAS' BAL HARBOUR CONDO COMPLEX SAM. YOU'LL NEED IT SOON.
> > MCCURRY: I've heard calling it a report is too generous.
THAT WASN'T FAIR. IT'S ALWAYS VALUABLE TO HAVE SOMEONE BEAM THE AP/REUTERS REPORTS TO YOUR E-MAIL. NOT EVERYONE COULD GET UP PRETTY EARLY IN THE WEE HOURS AND READ THE NET VERSIONS OF MOST OF THE NATION'S DAILY NEWSPAPERS AND WEEKLY MAGAZINES AND THEN SEND US A BLURB ON THEM. NOT EVERYONE COULD DO THAT AND THEN CLAIM CREDIT FOR IT.
> > DONALDSON: Well, whatever you want to call it is fine with me, but have you > forbidden people to actually --
DONALDSON IS GETTING DODDY - MAYBE HE SHOULD GRAB A BURGER WITH COKIE BETWEEN POUNDING THE PAVEMENT
> > MCCURRY: No. People -- it's a free country, and people can do what they want to on the Internet...
YES. SEE MATT. MCCURRY ACTUALLY LIKES YOU.
SO DO WE.
TOO BAD.
Filed by Matt Drudge
FILED BY AMERICAN POLITICS JOURNAL - YOU CAN COPY IT AND DISTRIBUTE IT TO THE WORLD FOR ALL WE CARE.
© 1998, 1997, American Politics Journal Publications Inc.